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Forgiveness- I had a dream...

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about forgiveness. This is a tough topic to write about but I had a dream last night about this very thing.
In my dream, an X that did me wrong many times over and then he came to a revelation and decided to come clean about a horrible thing he did. He embezzled money from me, money that I was given by the courts from years of Sexual Assault. He confessed he took the money, why he did it and how he did it. It was destroying his life because he knows people perceive him as a great guy but him and I both know the truth about what really happened.
He approached me and guess what? I forgave him without even blinking an eye. He was very remorseful and he felt so much better as a person because he realized no one is perfect and he knows what a forgiving person I am but also realizing that he has to confess and ask for forgiveness and it would be given.
People always say, you have to forgive and let go otherwise it eats you alive, makes you a bitter person and can even stop your prayer life. In the bible it says that if you hold hatred towards another person it can stop your prayers from being answered. This is true. I have forgiven him but I beg for him to ask my forgiveness too so that he can have a better life.

Money is the root of all evil and I am truly happy with my life but feel that this dream needs to come true so that we both can live an even better life.
I truly believe that if you do something bad to someone on purpose, you will pay one day. You will pay on earth and on judgement day. If you confess, you will not have to answer to that sin on judgement day. This doesn't mean just asking God for your forgiveness but also asking the person you deceived for forgiveness.
I will have respect for you again if you do this. Right now I forgive you, but I can't forget until you come clean, then we can move on with our lives and push forward.
I know you have a conscience and I always saw the best in you that's why I fell for you.
Please be the man that you are perceived to be and I will never bring this up again, EVER!

Contact me at Linda@lindasdatelist.com


Xoxo, Linda

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Online Dating vs Meeting at a Bar....

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I would like to talk about Online Dating verses meeting at a Bar. In the old days before Online Dating people would meet people at bars or clubs. We really had no choice if we wanted to meet someone, we would get all dressed up sexy and go out with our girlfriends and meet and mingle with guys at bars. For me this resulted in one relationship and a child. I had met this guy at the local bar and one thing led to another and soon after we were a couple and I ended up pregnant. Not my choice, it was an " oopsy ". Obviously that relationship ended and it wasn't pretty. The guy turned out to be a drug addict and alcoholic.
When you meet someone in a bar these days you really do not know anything about the person yet you give them your digits and take a chance. You have no idea if he is telling you the truth about anything. You don't know if he has a girlfriend already that he won't claim, or if he is married, or if he is married and looking for a mistress on the side or whatever! I would also like to raise the point that if you meet someone in a bar, chances are they will be drunk or buzzed and we all know that no one is in their right mind when drunk or buzzed therefore making a responsible decision is harder to do. I mean do you really want to meet a person who is intoxicated the first time you meet? Doesn't make for a good story later and just not a good idea. This doesn't mean that I am opposed to going to bars in general, I myself love to go to local dive bars every once in awhile it's fun, I just do not go there with the intent of meeting my future partner.

Let's talk about Honesty. Honesty is hard to find these days and I am going to have to go with Online Dating as a safer bet. Online Dating is still a RISK but at least you have some idea what the person is like just by looking at their profile.
You can see their relationship status, where they live, their age ( if they are being truthful ) and their hobbies etc. These details are pretty important and if you do decide to go out with someone, let me recommend that you meet in a public place, park your car in a less obvious place in case he or she is a stalker, UBER it there which is even better, dress appropriately, don't plan to be there very long, always have either a real or made up plan after the date so that you don't get stuck there for a long time like don't make it a dinner date! Save the dinner for the second date. It's ok to meet at a bar for a drink but pay attention to how the person conducts themselves in the bar. For example, if the person drove, pay attention to how much that person drinks because if they have more than one or two drinks then drives, this could be an indication that the person has no regard for drinking and driving responsibility. You should never drink and drive that's why my advice would be if you are meeting at a bar, absolutely UBER it there and back this is just the responsible thing to do.
If when you arrive at the meeting place and the person is just not the person you were expecting, don't be rude but do not stay a long time. If the person mis-represents their-self and lies about their age, height, weight or anything else, walk away. If the person lies about one thing, they are sure to be hiding other things as well and it can never turn out well.
Let's face it, it's all a "crap-shoot" out there whether you meet someone in the grocery store, work, bar, club or Online you just have to be very careful and protect yourself as best as you can.
My book called "The Top 10 Things People Lie About on Online Dating Sites and Why" is available on Amazon.com and is a guide for any Online Daters out there to help you identify the people who are lying to you. Please check it out, I guarantee it will help you!

 

If if you have any questions or comments email me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com


Just click the link below to check out the book!
http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1503006204/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1431797865&sr=8-1&keywords=The+top+10+Things+people+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why
XOXO, Linda

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It's All A Big Lie! He's on Match.com...

Hello Readers, Linda here. You will just have to excuse me today while I vent about my X who is on Match.com. Reading his profile is just shocking. Trying to make himself look like the "Perfect Catch" when in fact I know any woman will be highly disappointed. Let's start with the fact he says he's looking for "One Woman Only" . I think what he really means is one woman who won't mind sharing her man with his former girlfriends and wives who he insists on keeping in his life who call and visit while you are out of town. Yes, that's what he means! Then let's go with how he goes on and on how he WAS a professional athlete and he was but does playing only one year qualify you to brag about it over and over? I think not.
Now let's talk about "interests". Hmmm. Well, he says "dining out" well just because you order pizza take out on Saturday nights doesn't mean you like to "dine out". In fact actually going out to dinner ONE time in 10 years is more the truth. I think that "socially awkward" is more of what I would describe him as. Oh and don't let me forget the fact that he says "he is good with money, that's why we divorced". That's not at all the truth. I asked for a divorce because he was a HERMIT and would not go out in public to save his life! No movies, no dining out (only take-out), no concerts, no bars, no plays, no road trips and no "date nights". Never happened and to the poor woman who gets involved with him she will eventually figure that out on her own.
I guess the worst part was finding emails he sent to former girlfriends with half nude pictures attached of himself was pretty hurtful. Oh, and finding out after the fact that when I would go and take care of my elderly parents he would have his old girlfriends over.
Ladies, this is not a one woman man. He's not a social person in fact he's anti-social and won't even go out on the town with another couple.
On vacations, he would insist on ordering room service to avoid going out in public.
It's very scary to think someone could lie so bad on their dating profile when the real truth is he's the exact opposite of what he says.
Another thing I could not get him to go to church with me EVER but now he says he will go with his girl.
Interesting that every thing I complained about he says he no longer does. I'm sorry but I know this man better than anyone and he's got some mental disorder not sure what it is, but he is screwed up bad.
Liar, cheater, thief and overall weird is what he really is.
For the poor women who gets involved with him I feel sorry for them I really do. They have no idea what they are getting in to.
Yes it's true I met him on Match.com years ago. He lied about everything he wrote in his profile and even to my face. I ignored the lies and I wasted a good 10 years of my life. When someone lies to you in the beginning, run as fast as you can! One lie will lead to another and if you ignore and get emotionally invested, it will take you some time to get out of the mess you're in.
My book called " The Top 10 Things People Lie About on Online Dating Sites and Why" is available at Amazon.com and also on Kindle.
Please check it out so you can be prepared to fight off men like this and keep yourself safe. When I say "Safe" I mean that literally. You have no idea what this man tried to do to me after the separation and it's not pretty. I only thank god that I didn't turn out to be a "dateline" story.
Ladies beware.
Ok, I feel better now!

http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1503006204/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1431797865&sr=8-1&keywords=The+top+10+Things+people+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

Xoxo, Linda

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What do you do when you see your X on your Online Dating site?

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about how to react when you see your X on the same Online Dating site that you are on. It's quite a shocker at first. I have to say it's very hard to see your X and read what they wrote in their profile when you know it's all BS.
Obviously something was wrong because they are now your X but how do you warn other people about the person? That is the question that needs to be answered.
My experience has been that when I see my X on the site and read what he writes knowing he is completely lying and deceiving the women it's hard to ignore.
I guess the only thing is to create a forum to speak out against dangerous people.
Lindasdatelist.com is a forum I created to report Online Daters that are dangerous, liars, cheaters, thiefs etc. and it's free.
You can also read my book on Online Dating called "The Top 10 Things People Lie About on Online Dating Sites and Why". It's available on Amazon.com. It's true stories and advice on how to spot a liar, cheater, thief or dangerous person and what to look for, warning signs and real true life experiences.
I would love to hear your feedback on how to handle seeing someone on a dating site that you know is dangerous. What would you do?

Xoxo, Linda

I, I, I, Me, Me, Me... Gets old. An Online Dating Story

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about the guy or girl who only talks about themselves. "I, Me". If I could have only counted how many conversations in a short amount of time that was all about them. Not once did they ask any questions about me... Give me a break will ya?
Yes, they had a great career, nice home etc. but a real woman can usually see that on a first date and doesn't need to be reminded every hour or every minute of the conversation. It gets old and a woman who has their own life put together doesn't want to hear it. We are simply not impressed. When you have to tell someone over and over what a great person you are it spells out desperate. My question is this, why are they trying so hard? What issues does this person have if they have to sell themselves to you?
It's suspicious.
Another thing, when a woman says "NO" to anything that doesn't give you open range to try and talk her into it or pressure her. No means no. Especially to a woman who has her life together and knows what she wants and doesn't want.
Lesson learned: when you date a person and all they talk about is themselves and doesn't ask you any questions about you, run away. It doesn't get better and it's not a mistake that they have such a big ego or an underlying issue going on.
If the person is not interested in you enough to ask questions then something isn't right.
Frustrating...
#itsnotallaboutyou

 

My my new book is out "The Top 10 Things People Lie About on Online Dating Sites and Why"

http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1503006204/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1430613717&sr=8-2&keywords=The+top+10+things+people+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

Xoxo, Linda

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Why do Men Pull Away?

Hello Readers, Linda here. I was at the salon yesterday and talking with some ladies. A couple of the ladies were dating guys who came on strong at first and then just pulled away suddenly.... Both of the ladies had similar situations with the same outcome. We as women do not understand why this happens? Is it because perhaps we have sex with them too soon? Could it be they are secretly married or have girlfriends? Is it because they feel like they are getting too attached and get scared?
What is the girl to do when he stops texting and calling? Does she text him and call him out on it? Does she remain silent and just wait for him to come around? Does she try and forget him and start dating other guys?

Remember ladies, men are natural born HUNTERS. You have to let them come to you. If you chase them. text tem constantly or call them all the time they will run faster than a 300 horse power turbo Porsche. Don't chase a guy but you must let him know you are interested. 

I am not ashamed to admit this has happened to me before and it's very puzzling. I didn't understand it until I read the book "He's Just Not That Into You". It's a great book and explains a lot about why men pull away. It's pretty simple, they are just not that into you! If they were into you they would want to spend all their free time with you and you wouldn't have to sit and ponder why you haven't heard from them. There would be no question in your mind whether they want you or not. If you met them online, they would insist you take your profile down and they would do the same. They would not want you to date anyone else!

So what's the big question or answer here? The truth is not everyone you meet that you fall for is going to feel the same way about you. Sure, they might keep you around for sex but they just aren't serious about you and they will continue to pursue other women until they find their dream girl.
It's up to you if you want to be "that girl" who sits around and waits for a guy that's just not into you. I won't be that girl and neither should you.

Another point I want to make is if you sleep with a guy too soon you run the risk of being hurt. Sex to guys is just sex unless you are his dream girl then it's a different story altogether. Women on the other hand tend to get emotional after having sex and to most guys like I said unless you are his dream girl, it's just sex, plain and simple. So the question is how do you avoid being "that girl"?

Here is my advice to any girl that is dating no matter where you met him. Don't have sex without monogamy! You should make the guy "court you" the old fashioned way. If you have sex with the guy without monogamy, he will wonder if you have sex with every guy you meet and the guy wants the girl who plays hard to get and has respect for herself and won't give it all up front. I believe once you give in and give them the whole candy store in the beginning, they lose interest fast.

After the girl talk at the salon I asked a male friend of mine why guys do that and he told me without even taking a breath "because they are chasing someone else"! Wow!

3 books I want to recommend to every single girl.
1) " The Top 10 Things Peopke Lie About on Online Dating Sites and Why, What Every Online Dater Needs to Know" by yours truly. Linda Jenkins
2) "Why Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov
3) "He's Just Not That Into You"! ( not sure the author)

All 3 of these books are available on Amazon.com.

Ladies, don't sit around and wait for a guy if he's not treating you like his dream girl. If he's not showing you respect and love, move on. Remember, not every guy you fall for is the right guy for you. Don't waste your time on a guy who uses you for sex or his "plan B" girl. You deserve better and if you show him you respect yourself then he will respect you too.
I would love to hear your feedback about this topic!

 

Contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

 

XOXO, Linda

 

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How Does One Get Over A Break-up?

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about how to get over a break up, divorce or relationship. First off, I'm not an expert but I do have some tips on what helped me.
It took me a good 3 years to get over my divorce. I took my time, meaning I didn't jump into another relationship right away. When I thought I was ready, I started dating only to find out I wasn't ready yet to open my heart to someone else I guess that will just take time.
I cried a lot, felt sorry for myself at times but I suffered through it and it made me stronger and more selective. Having those 3 years gave me time to realize what I do and do not want in my next relationship.
I think jumping right into another relationship immediately after a break up, relationship or divorce is definitely not the right thing to do in most cases anyway, I know of a few exceptions but for the most part you need time to get over that someone.
During my 3 years post divorce, I started a business, wrote 2 books and started another career that is mentally stimulating. I say to anyone who is going through a break-up, relationship, or divorce give yourself time and don't date until you are ready. You will know when you are ready well, because you will just know. If you need to relocate your residence I would suggest that too. I recently moved to an oceanfront condo on the beach where it is nearly impossible to reap in my sadness of my divorce because I look out at the ocean and it's so calming and peaceful that all I think about now is my future and what kind of man that God is going to bring into my life. I know he's coming and I'm ready for him now.
So, if you are fresh out of a relationship, pick yourself up and start doing things that you have always dreamed about. Start working out and hanging out with old and new friends. Take your time needed to mourn but start living again! You can do this, I know I did and I never thought I could.
Xoxo, Linda

"Masterdate" by my friend George Reagan on sale only .99 on Kindle!

Hello Readers, Linda here. My friend and fellow author George Reagan is featuring his famous dating book for guys called "Masterdate" on Kindle for only .99 cents! This book is a great gift for the Single guy or even Single girl! It is a great guide to help guys understand what to do and what not to do in today's dating world. I highly recommend this book. I have read it and laughed my way through it as George is incredibly talented and knowledgeable about the dating world for the guys and ladies, it's a great read to help you understand how the guys think about dating.
Get it now while it's on sale!
Xoxo, Linda


http://www.amazon.com/Masterdate-handy-guide-internet-dating-ebook/dp/B00QE56T1O/ref=sr_1_1_twi_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1424291524&sr=1-1&keywords=masterdate

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Kanye West has a HUGE crush on Beyoncé!

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about Kanye's huge crush on Beyoncé. It's obvious that he has a thing for her because he cannot keep his trap shut about her.. He is just ridiculous. I'm sorry, but if I were Kim I would be hugely upset. I mean what he said about Beck was totally out of line! Who does he think he is that he can tell who gets the Grammy and who doesn't? He's not the glorified Grammy Judge!
Looks like Beck wrote most of his songs and played most of the instruments on his album that's why he won the Grammy. He is a very talented singer/songwriter who deserved what he got. Beyoncé on the other hand while totally gifted is not a songwriter or musician.
Kanye, keep your mouth shut you're beginning to look like a racist after trying to take Taylor Swifts and Beck's Grammy from them by ways of verbal intimidation... Get over it dude, you're not ALL THAT!
Xoxo, Linda

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Don't be a HATER! Online Dating.....

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about people on Online Dating sites that send you "hate mails". This happens to me all the time. I am on Match.com and on Match.com it has a section where you check off what kind of person you are looking for. For example, I am looking for someone at least 6'1 and up because I have found that men lie about their height all the time so if they say they are at least 6'1 then that means that they are at least 6 feet tall which is acceptable for me.
Another example is you get to pick which ethnicity of person you would prefer so you simply just check the options.
So, I get an email from a short, much younger and not the ethnicity I am looking for who continues to stalk me on the site calling me a "racist" among other things.
Do you think people read your entire profile? I don't. I think they simply just look at your picture and send emails. It is just frustrating. Please people read the entire profile before contacting the person, there is a Good reason why they ask you all of those questions!
Xoxo, Linda

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