Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about Firemen. Now, this is not my first blog about Fireman for sure. You can search for Firemen on my site and find the others if you like. This one is a little different than the others, hang on to your seats.
Recently I received a new Entry to my “Home Page” about a Fireman. Note that I receive 100’s of emails weekly about different men and women but in this case, I did not receive an email, just an entry.
Just what is it about a Man in Uniform? I don’t know but for myself, I actually think the Firemen are handsome and of course they look fantastic in uniform right? When I see them at the Grocery Store, for example, it turns my ordinary shopping trip into more of an adventure even my elderly Mother gets excited when she sees them. I think it may be the fact that 75% of them are fit, handsome and very friendly and who doesn’t love a man who is there to “rescue you”?
Here is the deal with these firemen though. They are mostly players and cheaters. It’s a common fact and every woman knows the stereotype so WHY OH WHY do we keep going back? When I see one on an online dating site, I always respond back to them if they message me. I know 100% that this is probably not going to end well but I do it anyway. UGH, most women do. Even when you flat out tell them about the stereotype and they deny it, “I am not that way”, “We get a bad rap”, “I am not a cheater” etc.… Do we buy it? I think as a woman we go into it being very skeptical BUT when they are so charming and good looking it is very hard to push away.
Why are Firemen like this? Obviously, because they can get away with it, that’s why. It doesn’t take a Rocket Scientist to figure this out. Here’s the deal, I absolutely believe that you can date a Fireman but you need to not be “Hypnotized” and ignore their bad behavior and excuses, in other words, do NOT IGNORE THE RED FLAGS.
Hypothetically, let’s just say you are dating a Fireman and everything is going great. Maybe he lives quite a distance from your home so you end up driving to his place most of the time. OK. Everything is peachy according to you. Maybe you have a conversation after so long that you become exclusive. OK. This means you both agree to not date, or sleep or have any Friends with Benefits while you are figuring out if you want to perhaps spend the rest of your life with this Fireman? OK. Let’s just pretend that it has gone this far and so far so good according to you and him. Since most Firemen live so far from where they work and maybe it’s not close to our place they can pretty much do anything while you are not around. Let’s face it, you are a busy woman and you just cannot be with him 24/7 and the fact he works for days at a time doesn’t help so you meet when it is convenient to him. OK.
Here are some RED FLAGS that you definitely should not ignore.
- He has other women’s things at his place and blames it on an ex-wife or girlfriend? Ok, if that is the case, WHY are they still there? Dude, if this is on the up and up, throw them away. Why do you keep them around? Hmmm. Ladies, please ask yourself this question, WHY? There really is no excuse and I will tell you WHY he doesn’t get rid of other women’s things. BECAUSE when you are not there, he has other women over... Do NOT IGNORE THIS RED FLAG!
- Maybe you are there so much and in an exclusive relationship so you politely ask, hey, can I have a drawer or part of your closet because it is a pain you know to drag your things over there and then drag them back every few days. This is a very reasonable request and frankly, you should not have to ask, he should offer and make it very comfortable for you. If you ask and he says no, hmmm ask yourself, WHY NOT? I can tell you WHY not. He has other women over when you are not there, that’s why. Another RED FLAG to NOT IGNORE.
- Let’s just say, you let #1 and #2 go because he is so charming and you are in love and he says he loves you, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL! There MUST be a very good and reasonable reason why #1 and #2 is something he won’t compromise with. I am SMH right now because I am even guilty of this but not with a Fireman.
- Let’s say you start getting really serious and combining your family into his for Holidays and special events. Linda’s rule is this, do not involve your children or family into your relationship for at least a year. Everyone is on their best behavior for the first 6 months. Your family and your kids get attached and if this doesn’t end well, this will hurt your family and kids.
- Let’s just say that you get wind of something that he is dating someone else? What do you do? Maybe it is someone you know? Hmmm… This tells me a couple of things. How does he have time to meet someone else and this also tells me he is still on a dating site, just hiding his profile and contacting other women. After all, you can still hide your profile and contact other women or possibly maybe he is on a different site than the one you met him on? Let me tell you, ladies, this happens ALL the time Firemen or NOT. If you both agree to be exclusive and he is still on a dating site. WALK AWAY. This Fireman is just like the others period.
The old saying really applies here, “Once a Cheater, ALWAYS A CHEATER”. Do not listen to his excuses or his so-called regrets. These Firemen do not change. I am not sure if they have a sex addiction or maybe they have been doing this their entire life? A good question to ask is “What ended your marriage”? If they come clean that they cheated, that is a positive sign. If they tell you some other story that doesn’t make sense, that is not good.
Ladies, with all men including Firemen, if something they say or do does not make sense, they are LYING and DECEIVING YOU. Always listen to your GUT instinct it will never steer you wrong. Refer to #1 and #2. These are RED FLAGS from the get-go that you should never ignore. If you continue the relationship, you will just end up with an even WORSE broken heart. They are simply NOT WORTH IT.
The best thing to do here is realizing that when you are dating a FIREMAN, expect these things to happen and if you ignore the signs, you WILL GET YOUR HEART-BROKEN!
My last and final statement in this blog is this: “Some Men are just men you dated that broke your heart”. Just because you fell in love doesn’t mean they will change. He is just another guy you dated that broke your heart. Give yourself time to heal and you WILL get over it, I promise.
From my mother ,
I would love your feedback on this, please contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com
Coming soon for men and women are my two new books, “The Top 10 RED FLAGS to NEVER IGNORE WHILE DATING”.