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Hello readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about the #METOO movement and Online Dating. Do you think that the #METOO has affected the Online Dating Industry? I don’t think that the Online Dating industry has lost any members due to it but I do think it has made a lot of men very cautious. In fact, it has been my experience that men are asking a lot of questions that they normally would not.
I have had men ask me if it is ok to call me beautiful or does that offend me. I have to laugh or I will just cry. It is SAD that a man has to ask to be a MAN and be CHIVALROUS when speaking to a lady. REALLY? Has the #METOO movement made men afraid to treat a woman like a lady? What I mean by that is men should not be afraid to open the door, bring flowers, and pay for the date etc. in order to not OFFEND a FEMINIST!
Let’s be CLEAR about what the #METOO is all about.
The #MeToo movement (or #MeToo movement), with many local and international alternative names, is a movement against sexual harassment and sexual assault. #Me Too spread virally in October 2017 as a hashtag on social media in an attempt to demonstrate the widespread prevalence of sexual assault and harassment, especially in the workplace. It followed soon after the sexual abuse allegations against Harvey Weinstein. Tarana Burke, an American social activist, and community organizer began using the phrase "Me Too" as early as 2006, and the phrase was later popularized by American actress Alyssa Milano, on Twitter in 2017. Milano encouraged victims of sexual harassment to tweet about it and "give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem". This was met with the success that included but was not limited to high-profile posts from several American celebrities, including Gwyneth Paltrow, Ashley Judd, Jennifer Lawrence, and Uma Thurman.
The actresses mentioned above are all feminists. I am not saying they are wrong by any means. We all know this is a real and dangerous issue not only in Hollywood but to anyone including men. I am just saying that unless you are a predator, then this should really not apply to the general way a man should treat a lady on a date.
I am not a feminist in any way. I want to be treated and respected like the lady I am. I say go back to the ’50s and re-learn how men treated ladies back then and there will be fewer break-ups. I don’t care what some feminists say, they all want to be treated right. Or, maybe they are just pro- #METOO when it suits them? Like in the workplace? Hey, I am all about respect and boundaries in and out of the workplace but men should not be afraid to be MEN! In fact, (no offense to the men out there) I am finding that it is extremely hard to find a MANLY MAN these days. Most of them are older and wiser because this is how they were brought up. The younger men are now being groomed to act more like the way the world is today instead of the old-fashioned way.
A sad fact is there are a lot of Single Mothers raising little boys all alone with no father figure in the home which attributes to a lot of men not really knowing how to treat a lady and vice-versa. Attention Single Mothers and Single Fathers raising young men and young women, since there is no father or mother around, it is your responsibility to teach your young boys and girls how to treat girls and how to treat boys! Yes, men need to be respected too. This is not a one-sided opinion.
I was that single girl once but I taught my son manners, pump the gas, open the doors, help me bring in the groceries, talk to a lady in a respectful way etc. By the way, my son still does all of these things for me.
I learned this from my father who lived it and taught me how I should be treated by a man. This also applies to Single Mothers and Single Fathers raising young ladies. You need to teach them how to respect themselves and how to respect men too. Just think if this was happening in every single-parent household how much better Online Dating would be.
HERE IS WHAT MEN ARE THINKING - Should I pay for the date? Should I open the door or pull out her chair? Can I hold her hand as we are crossing the street? Can I call her pretty or beautiful without offending her or is that sexual harassment? GIVE ME A BREAK! To me and to a real Man this is a no-brainer. I am 100% in favor of the old-fashioned way. Below are some facts that are definitely a #METOO Violation:
According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics:
Rape - Forced sexual intercourse including both psychological coercion as well as physical force. Forced sexual intercourse means penetration by the offender(s). Includes attempted rapes, male as well as female victims, and both heterosexual and same-sex rape. Attempted rape includes verbal threats of rape.
Sexual assault - A wide range of victimizations, separate from rape or attempted rape. These crimes include attacks or attempted attacks generally involving unwanted sexual contact between victim and offender. Sexual assaults may or may not involve force and include such things as grabbing or fondling. It also includes verbal threats.
According to statista.com:
The reported forcible rape rate in the United States from 1990 to 2017. In 2017, the nationwide rate was 30.7 cases per 100,000 of the population. The total number of rape cases in the United States stood at 99,856 in 2017.
Below are some General Rules that both sexes should follow when online dating.
WARNING! Ladies, never leave your drink alone and go to the restroom with a guy you just met. DON’T DO IT. Finish your drink first or take it with you. Better to be safe than sorry. If you finish your drink and go to the restroom and he asks if you want another, tell him you haven’t decided yet. Do not let him order a drink without you there.
DON’T BE “THAT WOMAN”!
Then you have the women who are DESPERATE and they will let any guy treat her in any way just to get attention. This is not OK, especially in the Online Dating world. In my opinion, there are too many women on Online Dating sites that do not respect themselves and therefore will put up with bad behavior from men. This makes it very hard for the ladies who are looking to be treated with respect.
A Clear example is a Dick Pic. Some women have told me that they are OK with this. Really? I don’t get it? Sending an unsolicited Dick Pic to a lady is just plain wrong and rude. In my mind, the only women that PRETEND to like this are women with no respect for themselves and low self-esteem who are willing to overlook this and act excited in order to get a date. I am not sure you would even call it a date if you go out with a guy that does this. Pretty much they will have sex the first time they meet a guy like this and if you are a woman who encourages Dick Pic’s then don’t complain that a guy doesn’t respect you or doesn’t call you back except for a booty call! I don’t want to hear it. Now, this would clearly be a violation to the #METOO people for sure. Then again, if you are dating someone and in a relationship, by all means, send a Dick Pic if requested. Two completely different scenarios.
According to youthspecialties.com:
10 FACTS ABOUT DATE RAPE
In short, just be a good guy. Be respectful to the lady you are speaking with. Do not put sexual content in your online dating profile like “must love sex”. All people on online dating sites know that if they meet someone they like, they may want to be intimate and we do not need to be reminded in your profile. This honestly turns most women off because it simply puts too much pressure on a woman and most will not respond to you for this very fact.
By all means, be chivalrous. Think back to what men did in the ’50s. I promise you a real lady will appreciate this and respect you for it.
FACT: Men want Respect and Women want Security. (Security meaning feeling secure not necessarily monetary).
I would love to hear your feedback. Leave me a comment or email me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com