Religion and Online Dating
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Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about Religion and Online Dating. For me this is a very important thing, probably the most important thing I look at when I am looking for a mate online. This is one of the first places I look for on their profiles. I am happy to announce that most every dating site, especially the large ones have this as a option to discolse on your profiles.
When you are looking for a mate, much like "Politics and Online Dating", it is a wise choice to choose someone of the same religion as yourself. For example, I am a Christian. I would not date an Athiest, Agnostic, Jewish or any other religiion than my own. I don't agree with the idea that when you meet someone, do not talk about politics or religion, just keep it light. Well, I strongly disagree with this. I believe though that it should not even get to that point in the first place where you find yourself across the table from a total stranger you met online without knowing first their political or religious preference. A person really needs to know this before going out otherwise it is a waste of time.
Let's face it, why would you want to be with an Athiest if you are a Christian or Catholic or Jew or any religion? Is it because you think you can change that person into believing what you do? If you even THINK this is a possability you are sadly mistaken. People do not change! What you see is what you get so why even go there? You will waste your time and energy on trying to change someone's opinion and it's a big mistake and I speak from experience.
Let's talk about a couple that go out never worrying about or taking into consideration the other person's political or religion beliefs. Let's say John and Julie go out and fall in love. John is an Athiest and Julie is a Catholic. Neither one of them has been married or has any kids. They fall in love and get married in Vegas.. after all, John won't get married in the Catholic Church and Julie is too much in love and doesn't really care so she lets it go even when she is confronted by her family. Her family really wants her to be married in the Catholic Chruch. This is usually the first of many conflicts to come with the families. Off to Vegas they go...
Julie gets pregnant and they have a baby. Julie really wants to have the baby christened in the Catholic Church but John highly disagrees and it's the beginning of the fights and arguments. Julie really wants to raise their baby Catholic and John is not having any part of that. Soon, it becomes more of a problem then the actual being in love. Obviously this is not only causing probelms with John and Julie, but with their family members as well. Julie cannot really expect John to change his opinion after all she married him knowing he is an Athiest and this creates much stress, turmoil, arguments and resentment in their marriage. Soon, they will divorce but the battle will still continue until the baby is an adult and throughout the life of the child because the child will be torn in which direction to go.
This is simply unfair to do to any child and should be avoided at any price. It takes more than just LOVE to make any relationship work. You will need to have the same political and religion as your mate in order to have a successful partnership.
Trust me on this one. The divorce rate for couples who do not have the same beliefs are extremely high. Couples with the same beliefs have a much better chance at staying married.
My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why
xoxo, Linda
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Sunday, 03 April 2016
Hi Single Guy in NYC,
Thank you for your feedback. I'm so happy your parents different beliefs helped you to be more diverse. I hope people read this because I think it will help them. Unfortunately, not that many people are that lucky. I myself, grew up in a Christian home but still ended up being married a divorced a few times. I'm just trying to make better choices now.
I appreciate your honesty and always keep it real!
Xoxo, Linda
Interesting thoughts but I have to respectively disagree b/c it depends on how devout or fundamentalist one is. Everyone knows religious texts can be interpreted many ways and some folks consider themselves but they're really just cherry picking what rules of their religion to follow.
By contrast, my Mom is Catholic and my Dad is an Atheist. My Dad never went to church with us but stressed the point to let the children decide what they want to believe. He considers himself to be a free-thinker and strongly opposes indoctrination. As such, I went to church more than my Dad would prefer but less than what my Mom would prefer. Balance and compromise was a lesson I learned early on. I was baptized b/c my Dad had no reason to object having, in his mind, some water poured on my scalp. I was even confirmed when I was a teenager.
I agree it's the more difficult road growing up in what may seem, from the outside at least, a conflicting household of beliefs but in hindsight I learned so much about diversity and tolerance that I wouldn't want to have it any other way. We're all the same race and, in a sense, brothers and sisters in this together. Just b/c my parents didn't share the same opinion on a celestial being, doesn't mean they had a different set of morals. Like my Dad always says, "If you boil the morality debate down, it generally goes back to the Golden Rule: one should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself."
From what I've seen and heard, all marriages have big issues that partners must deal with. The way I see it, if everything else lines up, why let religion stand in your way?
- Single Guy in NYC (http://wp.me/4wGVp)