Welcome to Linda's Date List Blog!
UPDATE*** The Blog image was posted today by Lesley Cook on her Instagram. JEALOUS MUCH? You really need to get some class.... Tamara blows you away in the beauty realm.... 100%
Hello readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about The Real Housewives of Orange County. Specifically, Shannon Beador and her soon to be X-husband, David Beador. Anyone who watches the show regularly like me is disheartened but not surprised about this ongoing saga. The reason I am writing is that I have an opinion on the matter and want to voice it. I have much experience with a cheating husband whom I divorced and all of the pain, insecurity, loss of self-esteem, weight gain, loss of trust and humiliation that it did to me. I have lived it and therefore, I can write about it.
Shannon and David’s marriage is not much different than my own.
First off, let me say I am a HUGE fan of Shannon. When I watch her on the show, I can see myself in her. My X-husband cheated on me as well. Shannon’s weight gain is no surprise to me and when the season opened she OWNED her weight gain which was admirable and brave, to say the least. I could tell something was up and I mean something with her cheating husband who had already had one affair that he admitted to (only after getting caught). I knew then he was emotionally checked out. I think he was already talking with this Lesley Cook whom he met in a spin class according to reports before he walked out on his wife and children. Lesley, did you read that? “HE WALKED OUT ON HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN” Think about that statement and let it sink in…
What does a cheating husband do to the wife emotionally? Let me tell you it is damaging and traumatic. Weight gain is common and self-doubt is also a true sign. Once the husband cheats, it is nearly impossible to gain that trust back even if you renew your vows and pledge your undying love forever and ever like he did.
A wife who suspects her husband is cheating (or turns the other cheek) becomes depressed. Depression can lead to weight gain among other things. I guarantee you if David stood behind his wife instead of pulling away, she would have lost the weight sooner. What does that say about him as a husband and partner who stood in front of a judge two times and said those words, for better or worse? Instead, he checked out and gave up. He selfishly thought he deserved better and moved on. This is not a man of character and certainly not a man I would want to be with or have around my young children.
Being in that same situation myself, when you get depressed, it is almost impossible, to say the least, to get out of it. It takes a lot of work. I predict that you, yourself will end up in the same depression during your life and once you mature you will understand. But in order to be compassionate, you first have to step out of your own selfish motivations to understand. I feel like you could but you are too immature to do so. Possibly, when you go through the same thing, you will better understand the devastation of a broken marriage and what it does to both partners. Personally, if you wanted a relationship with David, you should have first strongly encouraged him to stay with his wife, and if that didn’t work then at least waited until he was divorced. A strong healthy minded person after getting a divorce will stay single for a great amount of time before jumping into the next flavor of the month. Clearly, David did not do this and shows his lack of character and respect for his marriage and his children. Just think if he would have waited at least a year before dating, then met you, this whole relationship of yours (cough) would have been seen in an entirely different light. This tells me you have a lot to learn about life darling… Looks like you have to learn the hard way.
I dated my X-husband for five years and then we were married for five years. In retrospect, I should have just walked away after I found out he was a lifelong cheater but I fell in love and now I am suffering not only the loss of my marriage but the loss of the love of my life.
After the divorce, I have dated very little and have not had a boyfriend in almost seven years. This is how long it took me to recover emotionally. With my x-husband though, he dated and kept seeing his selfish self-serving mistress until the day he took his own life two years ago. He admitted to me before he died that he made a huge mistake and that he never stopped loving me and the same goes for me. You see Lesley, relationships are not all wine and roses, you have to carefully maneuver your own personal journey and your children’s life in such a way that you have to have compassion and put yourself in other people’s shoes in order to navigate through obstacles and make better decisions. I am saying this to you because you need to hear it.
When I was your age, I didn’t listen to many people but I did listen to a great mentor of mine who helped me very much to show me integrity and my own self-worth. She showed me that making a decision especially one that would involve my children should be very carefully thought out. I am not perfect and I have made many, many mistakes and I own them. I acted carelessly after my separation. I was very, very hurt and angered and did many things I wish that I had not now. It was a very tough lesson or lessons that I learned and I am trying to pass this along to you. I am quite sure you will not head my advice now, but hopefully, you will hold onto this and read when you are ready to open up and grow.
News Flash! David will forever be a cheater. Who knows how many affairs he has had or casual hooker hook-ups that are not even publicized. Not saying there is, but how is anyone to know except David.
A cheating man is BAD. It’s a character flaw and so damaging to his wife, kids, family and even friends. And, you probably won’t believe this now, but this will also be damaging to you too as evident in your public posts.
It is so narcissistic for David to remain on the show and not believe that he would get caught. In my opinion, this was not his first time. He admitted to having the affair with the selfish woman that intentionally friended Shannon and inserted her daughter on the same Basketball team in order to start an affair with David. A woman like that is very evil. Shame on her and she is married! This is so Newport Beach, many women there are very selfish and self-serving and downright scary if you ask me.
Apparently, I read that they are still married and are trying to work things out but I can tell you, her husband will never forget what she did. This will damage her marriage and relationship forever.
Lesley Cook -
She is divorced with two young children. David is 20 years her senior with three daughters of his own who are growing up quickly. Why would he want a younger lady with two little kids? Trust me, this is all about sex. If he had his choice, he would really not want the two young kids in the picture. But men are all about sex. They think about it on average 9 times more a day than women and since this Lesley is willing and able, he pounced. Personally, she looks to me to be very pretentious and sees David as a meal ticket because he does have a lot of money but this relationship even if taken to the next level has zero staying power. I give it maybe 1-2 years IF THAT. You might even see him try and reconcile with Shannon in the future.
Lesley, I have been following you on IG and what I see is a typical Newport Beach gold-digging, young and misguided woman. Question, why is your IG Profile PUBLIC? Obviously, you want your 5 minutes of fame which proves that you are insecure and immature. Rightly so, you should be very insecure about this man. Obviously, your profile is public because you want the world to see your posts which is not a classy move. In my opinion, you should keep you IG Profile Private, then you will have support from your friends only and not open yourself up to someone like me.
Lesley Cook seems from the outside to be living a dream life in Newport Beach but on the inside is a completely different story. How do I know this? EASY! You can see her damaging and immature posts she makes public on IG about her boyfriend David’s X wife Shannon. If Lesley wasn’t intimidated by Shannon and David’s marriage, she would just shut up and not post anything. Why does she feel the need to defend herself? Feeling GUILTY?
She claims their relationship didn’t start until after the separation but I’m not buying it. Lesley, if you are going to be involved with a man who has cheated on his wife and marriage before he cheated with you, then you too have to OWN it. My advice to you is to shut up on Social Media. This is not giving you your claim to fame like you think it is. This so-called 5 minutes of fame will be short lived and if you really cared about your cheating boyfriend, you would care about his relationship with his real family, Shannon, and his kids. HELLO, his daughters are going to graduate High School, College, get married and have kids. In the event your relationship does last, there will be graduations, wedding showers, weddings, baby showers etc. throughout their ENTIRE LIVES. You must make peace not war if you want to keep your boyfriend around. In other words, this is a lifetime commitment that he has created with his WIFE. Trust me, men do not like DRAMA.
Try to be as classy as you possibly can, shut up and stop posting on social media. This is damaging Shannon, her kids and believe it or not, David. A cheating husband does not want his dirty laundry aired for the entire world to see and watch. TAKE THE HIGH ROAD! High road refers to a higher moral ground. "Taking the high road" expression refers to one being a "class act" during a very difficult time. Those who take the high road, are demonstrating being honest, fair, and selfless while not being completely defenseless.
Trust me, I know. David might not verbalize it to you for fear of not getting laid, but deep down he still loves Shannon and his kids and you are simply a distraction for him. By your posts, you are making yourself look like a classless, immature, greedy and uncaring person. In addition to that, bringing David into your children’s life without a ring and a date (or at least date for a year first), can be very damaging to your children. Even I knew this at your age as I was a single mother but I was never looking for a daddy for my kids, they already had one. Therefore, not introducing them to my X-husband for three years after dating was the best decision. You should read up on introducing your young children to your boyfriends too early can damage your kids. Here is a great article about this very subject:
As far as Shannon goes, she has Trumped you on this platform. She is very bright, beautiful, intelligent and obviously a woman of great character and sophistication. She is on TV and is free to voice her emotions about her marriage and is helping other women by doing so. And before you say it yes, it is your constitutional right to voice your opinions but that does in no way make it right or make you look classy or look like a better person in any way. Trust me, girlfriend, in twenty years (and this may come as a surprise to you) you will be 20 years older too! You will not look like you do now. From one woman to another, we ladies need to build each other up not tear each other down. In the end, most men will come and go but we will always have our girlfriends.
One last word of advice for Lesley. You knew what you were getting into by having a relationship with David Beador, known cheater and liar and so along with that, this is nothing you are not asking for. You could have chosen to walk away and ask him to contact you in a year but you didn’t. That would have been the safe thing to do for you and your children. Do not let David’s emotional issues affect you or your children, but too late you have already done that.
He will never respect you because of the way you handled the situation. No matter what he tells you, he still cares about his WIFE and children. My dear by setting up house and acting like the wife without having the commitment, have immediately lost respect from him even if he won’t tell you. You should have done what I said and waited a year to see if he can heal from his past then he would have respect for you. I and many others see you as a “FILLER”, that’s a person who is filling in until he finds his next flavor of the month.
Shannon, hold your head high and keep on moving on princess. You deserve so much better and I know you will get through this in time and you already are inspiring other women for your bravery and honesty.
Any comments or questions, I welcome them. Contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com