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Posted by on in Blog
First Date Failure by Linda

Hello readers, today I would like to talk about what happened on a first date recently. This lady has just moved to a new state and decided to check out the guys in her new state.
She gets on an Online Dating site and receives a message from a good looking guy so she replies back. They text back and forth and plan a date for the next week. That Saturday before the date after returning from an all day shopping trip, she gets a phone call from this guy out of the blue asking if she can meet him that night at 9:30 pm!

First off, to the guys, don’t do that. All ladies need time to plan and get ready and it’s just plain rude! Her first thought was (and mine) his previous date cancelled or he got stood up or she wasn’t what she was supposed to be. Duh...

She politely says no thank you but see you on our planned date night. That day comes and it’s after work so this lady had no time to freshen up so she comes as is. They pull into the parking lot at the same time. It’s dark but he looks at her car and asks what kind of car it is. I think that’s fair, he’s fishing to see if she has her s*** together. “Whatever”

They walk in and luckily there are two seats at the bar so she proceeds to sit down but hesitates to give him a chance to pull the bar stool out for her but he just sits down. RED FLAG! What happened to guys with manners? Where or where are you hiding?

She pulls her own chair out and sits down. They order a drink and he’s kind enough to suggest dinner. They order, that’s a good move on his part. Now, here is where it gets weird.

He starts talking about his previous dates. Tells her he was dating a girl he really liked but she told him she does not want anything serious right now, basically friends with benefits only. Lol Sorry not sorry for laughing but this guy is dealing with a pro!

Guys, there are lots of women out there that will tell you the same thing, and you are now wondering why. LMAO..
The reason is she wants you to chase her. It’s a tactic some ladies and men use. Funniest thing is he acted so shocked! She just giggles and proceeds to let him know this little secret and it obviously worked because apparently, he talked about this girl the rest of the night. He could not believe it and asked so many questions about why and how a girl would do this. At that point she realized she gave him all the answers he needed and she decided to end the date politely.

The bill comes and he excuses himself to the restroom. Luckily this lady is smart enough to not pay the tab but waits for him to come back. He paid the tab and they walk out together. Now, they are parked only about 100 yards apart and they get to the parking lot and he walks off and yells out “let me know if you want to go out again” while walking to his car. Basically treating her like a guy friend. Eyes rolling...

What did he do wrong? He didn’t walk her to her car! What in the world is wrong with the guys here she’s thinking and now she’s completely shocked. Guys, I don’t care if you are not interested in this lady, you still should keep it classy and walk her to the car!

She went home. A few days later he texts her and says “I hope you didn’t see my wandering eye at the restaurant “ What? Why would he even text something like this? She replied back, “ Nope didn’t notice and don’t care”!

They never went out again and she blocked his number. Here is where he went wrong:

1. He called late on a Saturday night expecting her to meet him at 9:30 pm at night on the fly.
2. He didn’t pull her chair out for her.
3. He talked the entire time about another girl that told him she only wants FWB and wanted to know why.
4. As soon as the check came, he excused himself to the bathroom maybe hoping she would pick up the check even though he asked her out first. What he should have done was before going to the bathroom, put his credit card on the tab then go to the men’s room. (Or, little boys room) LMAO!
5. He did not walk her to her car!
6. He didn’t ask her to text him when she got home to make sure she got home ok.
7. He texted her a few days later and admitted having a wandering eye on their date. WHY?

Here is what she did right:

1. When he asked #7, she wrote back she “didn’t notice and she didn’t care”.
2. She blocked his number and never went out again with him.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this one. Contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

XOXO,
Linda

Posted by on in Blog
Is Facebook Sabotaging Your Relationship? By Linda

Hello readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about Facebook and Social Media in general. Facebook basically has become a dating site. I get friend requests from men all the time and their Facebook Profile picture looks like an Online Dating site, even their little intro mirrors an Online Dating Site. I am sure all of you would agree with me on this one.

Can this ruin your relationship? YES… it certainly can. Facebook along with Online Dating is very addictive. All of us have many friends on Facebook and sure I have been hit up by single, married and in-between men all the time. I have fun with the married ones though. LOL, I look up their wives, take all the screenshots and send an instant message to them. Sorry, not sorry… The most hilarious thing is most of my Facebook friends know I am a dating coach and blogger and that I should not be underestimated. I do all of my homework trust me when I get hit on.


The single guys I am ok with. The in-between are the guys that are messaging you and flirting with others at the same time. Let’s face it, not everyone is who they say they are. So what happens if you are in a relationship with someone (not just dating) but an actual monogamous relationship? Should you flirt with other people or show the “LOVE” emoji or is just a “LIKE” ok?

My opinion is this and should not surprise you at all but of course, if you are in a committed relationship you should never be flirting with the opposite sex on Facebook for the obvious reason that your Girlfriend or Boyfriend will see it and that is going to cause major problems. Just don’t do it if you are in a committed relationship. What happens if you see this happening? Well, my opinion is that you run as fast as you can. This should never happen. If you let it happen, then you deserve what you get.

Let’s talk about the in-between guys and gals and the difference between “just dating” and a “committed relationship”. HUGE DIFFERENCE and the choice is up to you. If you are flirting or dating someone and see that he or she is flirting or dating someone at the same time, this is all up to you. You can choose to walk away (which I recommend) to escape any future drama or you can just let it ride and see who wins? Me, I walk away immediately. These days people are crazy and I do not want to be involved in a love triangle besides if the guy or girl is flirting or dating two people at the same time, why would you even want to compete? Let’s think this through a little. If you are not in a committed relationship, you have no idea what the guy or gal is doing. They could be having sex with the other person and still flirting with you. To me, this is a no brainer. We all need to be really careful with all these STD’s out there.

My experience has been (and I have been that girl fighting for a guy), lesson learned, it is just not worth it. Right from the get-go, you can see what kind of person this is. There are millions of guys and gals on Dating Sites and I include Facebook as a Dating Site now so why would you even go any further?

What if you are friends with a guy or girl who are dating exclusively and you are friends with both of them on Facebook and one of them, let’s say the female “unfriends” you unexpectedly? To me, this is a RED FLAG. This person is insecure or does not want you to see if they are flirting with other people while being in a committed relationship with your friend. It’s one or the other for sure. What do you do if this is your friend? Well, I think just let it go but before you do, make sure you let your friend know what happened and that is their issue to deal with.

I have married friends that do not even have Facebook accounts. This is an excellent option to save you from any drama.

Let’s just Bottom Line this right now.

  1. If you are in a committed relationship, do not flirt with the opposite sex on Facebook or maintain an Online Dating Profile.
  2. If you are just dating an in-between person, that’s up to you but I just walk away gracefully.
  3. If you get hit on by a married person, notify the husband or wife because they need to know and what they do with it is their problem but do not entertain it. Walk Away, unfriend and block.

I would love to hear your comments so contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

Follow me on Facebook at Lindasdatelist.com

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Check out my books on Amazon – The Top 10 Things People Lie About on Online Dating Sites and Why

The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online …(Paperback) or Kindle

Nowhere to Hide, my true story of Sexual Assault and Sexual Harassment

Nowhere to Hide: My True Story of Sexual Hara… (Paperback) or Kindle

My newest book will be out very soon, my best yet…..

XOXO,

Linda

Posted by on in Blog
Updated- Who Pays For the Date? By Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about “Who pays for the date”? There are many scenarios that I can write about pertaining to this subject but I want to keep this very basic for now.

Let’s pretend that a Guy you meet online asks you out for a date. You like him so you say ok. Now, in this case, I always recommend this (Linda’s rule) to say you want to be friends first and then see where it goes, if anywhere. The reason I advise this is that you have no idea what the person did the night before, meaning they could have had sex with a FWB or who knows what? You do not want to get in the middle of a love triangle. FWB partners just really never works out because at least one of you will get emotionally attached, that is why they rarely work out especially if one of the FWB partners is out dating looking for their dream guy or dream girl.

Now, let’s just say he agreed to start out friends first which is great. You do a couple of daytime friend’s things at first which he volunteer’s to pay for, however; always do your own driving to meet him. If he asks you to go Dutch and he is pursuing you, do not go out with the guy again. If you are pursuing him, and I do NOT EVER recommend this, then you can go Dutch but trust me, ladies, if a guy likes you, he will pursue you. Do not chase a guy. A good example is, do you ever notice the guys you are not interested in just will not give up???? The obvious reason is that you are not chasing them down.

Then there’s that one night where things change from friendship to dating. Let me repeat. You are NOT dating until after he tells you he wants to be more than friends and you AGREE. Ok. So, after friendship, it evolves to “DATING”. “JUST DATING”. Not “DATING EXCLUSIVELY”, but “JUST DATING”. Now, let me explain something to make it very clear. When you start dating someone, you and he may still date other people UNLESS you have “That Conversation”, you know the one where you BOTH decide to NOT date other people and date exclusively. If you do not have that conversation, you are still “JUST DATING”. Are we CLEAR? Ok. Now that we have that out of the way, here’s what happens.

Ladies, this is something very important that I want to point out. Just because you are “Dating” a guy, do not ASSUME that he is not dating anyone else. No one owns anyone else’s time. In other words, accept and believe that the other person IS out dating unless you have the conversation to be exclusive. Do not get upset or expect the guy to just stop dating anyone else because he went out with you and you had a really good time.

This is the year 2020 and the dating scene has new rules. Be careful if you get intimate with a guy before having the conversation of being exclusive because he or she could have had sex with someone else after your date or the next day or the day before. Yes, this happens with both sexes.

You are in the “JUST DATING” phase. You two haven’t had the “Exclusive Talk” yet. During the dating period, if the guy asks you out, he should pay PERIOD. After all, most men make more money, and women have to do the following things if you are like me and want to take care of yourself:

  1. Nails
  2. Hair
  3. Make-up
  4. Clothes
  5. Shoes
  6. Eyebrows
  7. Botox
  8. Perfume
  9. Just to name a few

All of these above cost money. What most men do not realize is when we like a guy and want to look and smell good it costs a lot of money for one date. Not to mention the time it takes to get ready when we already are busy enough with a job, kids, family etc. One date could easily cost over $300 for a lady. EASY…..

Now, before we all get upset at Linda, let’s consider a few ways how a lady can reciprocate in the “JUST DATING” phase. Here are a few things that I do and to let my guy know I appreciate him:

  1. I’ll bring over dessert when he cooks dinner.
  2. I’ll bring his dog a bone if I come over.
  3. If I arrive at the restaurant bar first, I will pay for my own drink if he is not there.

So, let’s review a little. Friendship, then dating. He pays for the dates. You reciprocate by bringing over dessert and other things even though you haven’t had “The Exclusive Talk” yet. You buy clothes, perfume, get your nails, hair, and brows done so you look fabulous. That in itself is a lot of time, money and effort just for the guy!

When and if you do have the “Exclusive Date” talk, then it is recommended by me and others to pick up the check once in a while. Cook dinner once in a while etc. Then your guy has earned your time and attention so you absolutely should contribute monetarily once in a while.

A Real Gentleman should never even mention money when you are just dating. If a guy even throws in your face that you never offered to “pick up the check” when out, or even “buy a drink” in the “JUST DATING” phase, then you are not dating a gentleman. A real Gentlemen knows, listens and pays attention to your cute texts, your “I miss you texts”, desserts, etc. and is grateful that you are such a kind and gracious guest. If this happens to you where he may get mad at something and throws the fact that you never picked up the check while “DATING” not “DATING EXCLUSIVELY”, you should never go out with that guy again.

This is a real issue in today’s dating world unfortunately. There are a lot of beautiful women like myself out there that if we were looking for a “Sugar Daddy” it is so easy to find that it is almost ridiculous. I myself am not a “Gold Digger” and if any guy that I was “JUST DATING” ever told me or insinuated that, I would never speak to him again.

And for the guys, I hope that this helps you understand from a ladies side the things that we go through to look good and be fabulous for a Gentleman that we adore.

I am really interested in hearing your feedback and comments. Please contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

XOXO,

Linda

Posted by on in Blog
Check Linda's Website to Look Up an Online Dater Before you Go Out!

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about my FREE Search Site for Online Dating. You can Check Your Date before you go out for FREE or Add a Free listing about your date for the next person. Report someone dangerous so that the next person can find out before they go. I have often heard Online Daters say to me "I wish there was a website where I could go and look a person up before I go out" well, I have created one and it's FREE. You can search by Username and Dating Site.

You can check on the "HOME" page for this information.

Contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

Please check it out so that we can all help each other! http://lindasdatelist.com/

xoxo, Linda

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