Welcome to Linda's Date List Blog!
Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about men that are over 50, have never been married and no kids. From my experience, this has been quite the eye opener for me. I see many men on these dating sites that have this scenario. I even saw one with when the question is asked " how long was your longest relationship"? One guy said "less than one year" huh? It makes me wonder ok, over 50, never married, no kids and longest relationship less than one year? Oh, and it says he's looking for a relationship? Huh?
To me, this guy is just looking for a hook-up. He has probably gone through life misleading a lot of women and most likely he will die a lonely old man with his care nurse taking care of him. No wife or kids to care for him. Sadly, he won't realize this until he's too old to change anything and then he"ll be desperately searching for someone to be with because he will realize that he goofed up and will end up all alone.
Then I read their profiles when they are in there 70's and suddenly they are not to picky anymore and their profiles look to be sad because they are desperately searching for someone.
Don't let this be you.
For the ladies, be very wary of men like this on online dating sites. They will take you for a ride for sure. These men will use you and are most likely cheaters and womanizers.
I met my X on Match.com. He was divorced with no kids and only married for a short time previously. He told me he was never getting married again, but he changed his mind quickly when I had a job offer out of state and was going to move and leave him. 2 weeks later he asked me to marry him.
He was a good husband at times but most of the time he wasn't. He was a cheater and refused to be rid of his past girlfriends.
Now, it's been 4 years since I left the marriage after finally coming to my senses and oddly enough we are on the same online dating sites.
I read his profiles and it is just sad. He is so desperate sounding and probably now realizes that he really screwed up in our marriage. He now claims to do all the things he never did with me. Interesting.
Hell yes he fooled me big time. Ended up bringing me to my knees where I didn't think I could go on in my life but by the grace of god I made it.
He will most likely end up a lonely old man with no one to take care of him.
Hey, I may never get married again but at least I have family, children and friends to live life with so I will never really be alone. I have my children to care for me when I get old and that is comforting.
Ladies, be very careful of a man who sounds too good to be true and desperate. There is something wrong with that man. No one is perfect and everyone has faults and baggage.
Comments or questions? Contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com.
Check out my book entitled "The Top 10 Things Peopke Lie About On Onlibe Dating Sites and Why" available at Amazon.com or Kindle.
Click link here to get:
Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about this woman whom I've never met "Shari". She's on POF and I believe she has no idea that my X is calling her out in his profile. Did he say anything bad? Nope, but he did mention her name and how excited he was to meet her. Is that appropriate? I think not. It shows kind of a sick and twisted way of thinking. Why would you name the person in your profile yet still show visible and be "online now" almost 24/7?
If Shari is the one, take your profile down and show her some respect! Well, obviously Shari has no idea what's going on. She's either clueless that he's still actively looking for "greener grass" or she didn't meet his qualifications, or he didn't take her out on a proper date and wanted to have sex with her right away and hopefully she saw right through him. Oh yes, he took her name off but I think that was just inconsiderate. What is he REALLY trying to achieve by doing that? Well, I have one guess and it's probably for me to see which I did and only thing I have to say is I hope someone who knows Shari will tell her about my site so that she can see what she either avoided or in the midst of getting into.
And what's wrong with me by writing all about him? Well, my intention is to warn women of men like him. They are liars, manipulators and they tell you exactly what they want to hear.
Cheaters never change no matter how much you write it in your profile, it doesn't change who you are. I can write down in my profile that I look exactly like Pamela Anderson but it simply is Not true no matter how many times I write it. I can also say I'm a perfect 10 and I have no baggage and my life is perfect but in reality, no one is perfect and we all have baggage.
The sad part is their are no guarantees with Onlin Dating. You have to take a chance and roll the dice if you really want to find someone. Me? I am actively dating but I am very picky in fact I received an email from a man that sounded just like my X that I blocked him. I could see right through him.
Has my experience made me a better stronger person? YES it has.
I know what I am looking for and I won't settle again. My life was bad for a good 10 years and until I finally asked for the divorce and got out did I see the light.
My life is awesome now and I get to live my life with dignity. When I was with my X, he humiliated me over and over again and now I can hold my head high because I know now that I am worth more than he ever gave me credit for. Life is good, and I'll continue on the road of online dating but I will not ever let a man define me. I choose to find a man to enhance my life not make it difficult.
I wrote a book about Online Dating it's called "the top 10 things people lie about on online dating sites and why". You should check it out, it's my #1 seller and people love it. I'll post the link below.
I would like to hear your thoughts, comments and concerns about this topic, please contact me at Linda@LindasDatelist.com
Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about forgiveness. This is a tough topic to write about but I had a dream last night about this very thing.
In my dream, an X that did me wrong many times over and then he came to a revelation and decided to come clean about a horrible thing he did. He embezzled money from me, money that I was given by the courts from years of Sexual Assault. He confessed he took the money, why he did it and how he did it. It was destroying his life because he knows people perceive him as a great guy but him and I both know the truth about what really happened.
He approached me and guess what? I forgave him without even blinking an eye. He was very remorseful and he felt so much better as a person because he realized no one is perfect and he knows what a forgiving person I am but also realizing that he has to confess and ask for forgiveness and it would be given.
People always say, you have to forgive and let go otherwise it eats you alive, makes you a bitter person and can even stop your prayer life. In the bible it says that if you hold hatred towards another person it can stop your prayers from being answered. This is true. I have forgiven him but I beg for him to ask my forgiveness too so that he can have a better life.
Money is the root of all evil and I am truly happy with my life but feel that this dream needs to come true so that we both can live an even better life.
I truly believe that if you do something bad to someone on purpose, you will pay one day. You will pay on earth and on judgement day. If you confess, you will not have to answer to that sin on judgement day. This doesn't mean just asking God for your forgiveness but also asking the person you deceived for forgiveness.
I will have respect for you again if you do this. Right now I forgive you, but I can't forget until you come clean, then we can move on with our lives and push forward.
I know you have a conscience and I always saw the best in you that's why I fell for you.
Please be the man that you are perceived to be and I will never bring this up again, EVER!
Contact me at Linda@lindasdatelist.com
Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I would like to talk about Online Dating verses meeting at a Bar. In the old days before Online Dating people would meet people at bars or clubs. We really had no choice if we wanted to meet someone, we would get all dressed up sexy and go out with our girlfriends and meet and mingle with guys at bars. For me this resulted in one relationship and a child. I had met this guy at the local bar and one thing led to another and soon after we were a couple and I ended up pregnant. Not my choice, it was an " oopsy ". Obviously that relationship ended and it wasn't pretty. The guy turned out to be a drug addict and alcoholic.
When you meet someone in a bar these days you really do not know anything about the person yet you give them your digits and take a chance. You have no idea if he is telling you the truth about anything. You don't know if he has a girlfriend already that he won't claim, or if he is married, or if he is married and looking for a mistress on the side or whatever! I would also like to raise the point that if you meet someone in a bar, chances are they will be drunk or buzzed and we all know that no one is in their right mind when drunk or buzzed therefore making a responsible decision is harder to do. I mean do you really want to meet a person who is intoxicated the first time you meet? Doesn't make for a good story later and just not a good idea. This doesn't mean that I am opposed to going to bars in general, I myself love to go to local dive bars every once in awhile it's fun, I just do not go there with the intent of meeting my future partner.
Let's talk about Honesty. Honesty is hard to find these days and I am going to have to go with Online Dating as a safer bet. Online Dating is still a RISK but at least you have some idea what the person is like just by looking at their profile.
You can see their relationship status, where they live, their age ( if they are being truthful ) and their hobbies etc. These details are pretty important and if you do decide to go out with someone, let me recommend that you meet in a public place, park your car in a less obvious place in case he or she is a stalker, UBER it there which is even better, dress appropriately, don't plan to be there very long, always have either a real or made up plan after the date so that you don't get stuck there for a long time like don't make it a dinner date! Save the dinner for the second date. It's ok to meet at a bar for a drink but pay attention to how the person conducts themselves in the bar. For example, if the person drove, pay attention to how much that person drinks because if they have more than one or two drinks then drives, this could be an indication that the person has no regard for drinking and driving responsibility. You should never drink and drive that's why my advice would be if you are meeting at a bar, absolutely UBER it there and back this is just the responsible thing to do.
If when you arrive at the meeting place and the person is just not the person you were expecting, don't be rude but do not stay a long time. If the person mis-represents their-self and lies about their age, height, weight or anything else, walk away. If the person lies about one thing, they are sure to be hiding other things as well and it can never turn out well.
Let's face it, it's all a "crap-shoot" out there whether you meet someone in the grocery store, work, bar, club or Online you just have to be very careful and protect yourself as best as you can.
My book called "The Top 10 Things People Lie About on Online Dating Sites and Why" is available on Amazon.com and is a guide for any Online Daters out there to help you identify the people who are lying to you. Please check it out, I guarantee it will help you!
If if you have any questions or comments email me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com
Just click the link below to check out the book!
Hello Readers, Linda here. You will just have to excuse me today while I vent about my X who is on Match.com. Reading his profile is just shocking. Trying to make himself look like the "Perfect Catch" when in fact I know any woman will be highly disappointed. Let's start with the fact he says he's looking for "One Woman Only" . I think what he really means is one woman who won't mind sharing her man with his former girlfriends and wives who he insists on keeping in his life who call and visit while you are out of town. Yes, that's what he means! Then let's go with how he goes on and on how he WAS a professional athlete and he was but does playing only one year qualify you to brag about it over and over? I think not.
Now let's talk about "interests". Hmmm. Well, he says "dining out" well just because you order pizza take out on Saturday nights doesn't mean you like to "dine out". In fact actually going out to dinner ONE time in 10 years is more the truth. I think that "socially awkward" is more of what I would describe him as. Oh and don't let me forget the fact that he says "he is good with money, that's why we divorced". That's not at all the truth. I asked for a divorce because he was a HERMIT and would not go out in public to save his life! No movies, no dining out (only take-out), no concerts, no bars, no plays, no road trips and no "date nights". Never happened and to the poor woman who gets involved with him she will eventually figure that out on her own.
I guess the worst part was finding emails he sent to former girlfriends with half nude pictures attached of himself was pretty hurtful. Oh, and finding out after the fact that when I would go and take care of my elderly parents he would have his old girlfriends over.
Ladies, this is not a one woman man. He's not a social person in fact he's anti-social and won't even go out on the town with another couple.
On vacations, he would insist on ordering room service to avoid going out in public.
It's very scary to think someone could lie so bad on their dating profile when the real truth is he's the exact opposite of what he says.
Another thing I could not get him to go to church with me EVER but now he says he will go with his girl.
Interesting that every thing I complained about he says he no longer does. I'm sorry but I know this man better than anyone and he's got some mental disorder not sure what it is, but he is screwed up bad.
Liar, cheater, thief and overall weird is what he really is.
For the poor women who gets involved with him I feel sorry for them I really do. They have no idea what they are getting in to.
Yes it's true I met him on Match.com years ago. He lied about everything he wrote in his profile and even to my face. I ignored the lies and I wasted a good 10 years of my life. When someone lies to you in the beginning, run as fast as you can! One lie will lead to another and if you ignore and get emotionally invested, it will take you some time to get out of the mess you're in.
My book called " The Top 10 Things People Lie About on Online Dating Sites and Why" is available at Amazon.com and also on Kindle.
Please check it out so you can be prepared to fight off men like this and keep yourself safe. When I say "Safe" I mean that literally. You have no idea what this man tried to do to me after the separation and it's not pretty. I only thank god that I didn't turn out to be a "dateline" story.
Ok, I feel better now!
Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about how to react when you see your X on the same Online Dating site that you are on. It's quite a shocker at first. I have to say it's very hard to see your X and read what they wrote in their profile when you know it's all BS.
Obviously something was wrong because they are now your X but how do you warn other people about the person? That is the question that needs to be answered.
My experience has been that when I see my X on the site and read what he writes knowing he is completely lying and deceiving the women it's hard to ignore.
I guess the only thing is to create a forum to speak out against dangerous people.
Lindasdatelist.com is a forum I created to report Online Daters that are dangerous, liars, cheaters, thiefs etc. and it's free.
You can also read my book on Online Dating called "The Top 10 Things People Lie About on Online Dating Sites and Why". It's available on Amazon.com. It's true stories and advice on how to spot a liar, cheater, thief or dangerous person and what to look for, warning signs and real true life experiences.
I would love to hear your feedback on how to handle seeing someone on a dating site that you know is dangerous. What would you do?
Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about the guy or girl who only talks about themselves. "I, Me". If I could have only counted how many conversations in a short amount of time that was all about them. Not once did they ask any questions about me... Give me a break will ya?
Yes, they had a great career, nice home etc. but a real woman can usually see that on a first date and doesn't need to be reminded every hour or every minute of the conversation. It gets old and a woman who has their own life put together doesn't want to hear it. We are simply not impressed. When you have to tell someone over and over what a great person you are it spells out desperate. My question is this, why are they trying so hard? What issues does this person have if they have to sell themselves to you?
Another thing, when a woman says "NO" to anything that doesn't give you open range to try and talk her into it or pressure her. No means no. Especially to a woman who has her life together and knows what she wants and doesn't want.
Lesson learned: when you date a person and all they talk about is themselves and doesn't ask you any questions about you, run away. It doesn't get better and it's not a mistake that they have such a big ego or an underlying issue going on.
If the person is not interested in you enough to ask questions then something isn't right.
My my new book is out "The Top 10 Things People Lie About on Online Dating Sites and Why"
Hello Readers, Linda here. I was at the salon yesterday and talking with some ladies. A couple of the ladies were dating guys who came on strong at first and then just pulled away suddenly.... Both of the ladies had similar situations with the same outcome. We as women do not understand why this happens? Is it because perhaps we have sex with them too soon? Could it be they are secretly married or have girlfriends? Is it because they feel like they are getting too attached and get scared?
What is the girl to do when he stops texting and calling? Does she text him and call him out on it? Does she remain silent and just wait for him to come around? Does she try and forget him and start dating other guys?
Remember ladies, men are natural born HUNTERS. You have to let them come to you. If you chase them. text tem constantly or call them all the time they will run faster than a 300 horse power turbo Porsche. Don't chase a guy but you must let him know you are interested.
I am not ashamed to admit this has happened to me before and it's very puzzling. I didn't understand it until I read the book "He's Just Not That Into You". It's a great book and explains a lot about why men pull away. It's pretty simple, they are just not that into you! If they were into you they would want to spend all their free time with you and you wouldn't have to sit and ponder why you haven't heard from them. There would be no question in your mind whether they want you or not. If you met them online, they would insist you take your profile down and they would do the same. They would not want you to date anyone else!
So what's the big question or answer here? The truth is not everyone you meet that you fall for is going to feel the same way about you. Sure, they might keep you around for sex but they just aren't serious about you and they will continue to pursue other women until they find their dream girl.
It's up to you if you want to be "that girl" who sits around and waits for a guy that's just not into you. I won't be that girl and neither should you.
Another point I want to make is if you sleep with a guy too soon you run the risk of being hurt. Sex to guys is just sex unless you are his dream girl then it's a different story altogether. Women on the other hand tend to get emotional after having sex and to most guys like I said unless you are his dream girl, it's just sex, plain and simple. So the question is how do you avoid being "that girl"?
Here is my advice to any girl that is dating no matter where you met him. Don't have sex without monogamy! You should make the guy "court you" the old fashioned way. If you have sex with the guy without monogamy, he will wonder if you have sex with every guy you meet and the guy wants the girl who plays hard to get and has respect for herself and won't give it all up front. I believe once you give in and give them the whole candy store in the beginning, they lose interest fast.
After the girl talk at the salon I asked a male friend of mine why guys do that and he told me without even taking a breath "because they are chasing someone else"! Wow!
3 books I want to recommend to every single girl.
1) " The Top 10 Things Peopke Lie About on Online Dating Sites and Why, What Every Online Dater Needs to Know" by yours truly. Linda Jenkins
2) "Why Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov
3) "He's Just Not That Into You"! ( not sure the author)
All 3 of these books are available on Amazon.com.
Ladies, don't sit around and wait for a guy if he's not treating you like his dream girl. If he's not showing you respect and love, move on. Remember, not every guy you fall for is the right guy for you. Don't waste your time on a guy who uses you for sex or his "plan B" girl. You deserve better and if you show him you respect yourself then he will respect you too.
I would love to hear your feedback about this topic!
Contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com
Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about how to get over a break up, divorce or relationship. First off, I'm not an expert but I do have some tips on what helped me.
It took me a good 3 years to get over my divorce. I took my time, meaning I didn't jump into another relationship right away. When I thought I was ready, I started dating only to find out I wasn't ready yet to open my heart to someone else I guess that will just take time.
I cried a lot, felt sorry for myself at times but I suffered through it and it made me stronger and more selective. Having those 3 years gave me time to realize what I do and do not want in my next relationship.
I think jumping right into another relationship immediately after a break up, relationship or divorce is definitely not the right thing to do in most cases anyway, I know of a few exceptions but for the most part you need time to get over that someone.
During my 3 years post divorce, I started a business, wrote 2 books and started another career that is mentally stimulating. I say to anyone who is going through a break-up, relationship, or divorce give yourself time and don't date until you are ready. You will know when you are ready well, because you will just know. If you need to relocate your residence I would suggest that too. I recently moved to an oceanfront condo on the beach where it is nearly impossible to reap in my sadness of my divorce because I look out at the ocean and it's so calming and peaceful that all I think about now is my future and what kind of man that God is going to bring into my life. I know he's coming and I'm ready for him now.
So, if you are fresh out of a relationship, pick yourself up and start doing things that you have always dreamed about. Start working out and hanging out with old and new friends. Take your time needed to mourn but start living again! You can do this, I know I did and I never thought I could.