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Divorces, Relationships and Online Dating

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I would like to talk about Divorces, Relationships and Online Dating. When is the right time to put yourself out there on a dating site and start your life over? That is the million dollar question! I am not sure how to answer that question exactly except to say I think it varies from person to person and the circumstances of the relationship. I know some women that are or were in abusive marriages/relationships. The men tell them 1) You're ugly and no one else will want you. 2) You are LUCKY to be with me. 3) No man will ever want you. This is exactly what my X told me. I actually believed him for a long time! CRAZY! He said I would NEVER find anyone that treats me as good as he does. In that case, I may as well just marry anyone because anyone would treat me better!  Cheating, Lying, Deceit and any kind of Abuse do not belong in a healthy relationship or marriage. It's only when you finally get out that you realize how bad things were. 

The reason the men tell the women these things is because they are in so much fear, denial and they feel guilty thinking about all of the horrible things they have done and they are afraid that you will find someone else that will treat you better. Now, I hope and pray that these women can get out of their bad marriage and relationship but this is simply not the case with some women. They are just so depleted that they do not have the strength to get out and their friends and family are so sick and tired of hearing all of the gory details that eventually they give up trying to help. Sometimes the women feel like they cannot support themselves either. I believe that all women need to have a trade that they can fall back on to support themselves, I call it a "Plan B". Unfortunately, you always need a "Plan B" just in case "life happens" and things do not go as planned.

Did I get bitter?  Yes, I did. It is not an easy thing to go through and I do get bitter and mad now and then because of what our marriage could have been, what it was supposed to be. My X told me that we would never divorce and he would always try counseling or whatever it takes to get the help we need to make our marriage work. We did try counseling but my X would not give up his old life and old girlfriends. That was a deal breaker for me. He always "wanted his cake and eat it to" so to speak. I finally had enough of it and asked for a divorce. I got out and picked myself up again but without God, friends and family I would have never made it! Luckily my kids were adults and my X was not their father so I did not have to feel "Guilty" for taking them away from the marriage. They were never really in it, I kept them out of it as much as I could because deep down inside I knew it was the best thing to do for them and I was right. Always listen to your intuition, it is always right!

Did I get over it? Yes, but it took years. Not months, weeks or days but YEARS! You have to absolutely give yourself time to heal and get your self respect and self confidence back. How do you do it? You start by being good to yourself for a change. What I did was I got a job and reconnected with my friends and family. I started helping people that needed help and being of service to people. To get your self respect and self confidence back you need to start being good to yourself and others. I started working out and going out with friends. I go to the movies and Travel.  I even started "Paddle boarding and writing books.  I got back to the Online Dating scene only to find out that I was not ready yet. I definitely believe that you should not put yourself out there on Online Dating Sites until you are emotionally ready. 

Today my life is AWESOME! I am very happy and my dreams are coming true. I just wrote my first book and it is available on this page and also on Amazon.com. It is my story of what I found out on these Online Dating sites, how most everyone lies about important things. It is called "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites And Why". "What Every Online Dater Needs To Know".  I am in process of my next book and life is GREAT! 

If you are in a bad relationship or marriage and it cannot be fixed, get out while you are still able no matter what it takes. It will always take awhile to get over it but the rewards are worth it in the end. I am not saying that it is easy because it isn't. It is probably the hardest thing to get over but life goes on and if there is Abuse, Addiction or Adultery then you owe it to yourself to get out while you can. Anything else can be worked on I believe. I even forgave the infidelity but my X did some terrible unforgivable things to me after our separation that there was no sense in going back.

These days I put one foot in front of the other and sometimes I even take a step back, but I keep on looking forward and I can finally see the light!

XOXO, Linda

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Must Love Dogs! Dog Lovers and Online Dating

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about Dog Lovers and Online Dating. My daughter is single and has a beautiful female Pitt Bull named Molly. She has had Molly since Molly was about 5 weeks old. Molly is 5 now and she is just like a child to my daughter. I myself am not that big of a animal person although I do love Molly! She grew on me after all these years.
My daughter like many Dog Lovers treats her Dog like you would a child. Molly has been there for my daughter all these years and is very protective of my daughter. It's like having a body guard for my daughter which eases my mind as a parent.
My daughter is currently single and dating. She has to definitely meet a guy that loves Molly as much as she does (if that's even possible) because they come as a package deal! I believe that if you have a Dog that you should definitely put that on your Online Dating profile. There are even dating sites specifically for Dog Lovers.
Many of my single friends have dogs. I guess a Dog is a great companion for single people and if you are dating, the person needs to know that you have a Dog and that its a package deal, much like having a child. One time I was walking with my daughter and Molly downtown doing some shopping and my daughter went into a store so I was standing outside waiting with Molly. Well, a man comes up to me and Molly (I suppose because of her being a pitt Bull) and says to me " why would you have a Dog like that? I say to him " if you had a daughter that looks like mine and lives alone, you would want a Dog as wonderful as this!". He just shook his head and walked away. He must not be a parent is what I was thinking. Do I think Pitt Bulls are dangerous? No. They are by far the sweetest breed of Dog that I have ever comes across however; if a transient or a dangerous person tried to come up to my daughter I know Molly would kill that person so I pity the poor fool who would try. Would I go up and pet a Pitt a Bull randomly on the street? No. You have to have common sense when it comes to Dog breeds. I absolutely believe that Dog owners must act responsibly with their Dogs and are definitely liable for them.
This is just another thing in the list of many that I write about that you absolutely should have in common with a potential mate. I love Molly for watching over my daughter and I believe that Pitt Bulls can be dangerous if in the wrong owners hand yet they are the sweetest most lovable Dogs ever!

My new book is out called "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites And Why". It's available on my website "blog tab" or click this link: 
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_5_8?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=the+top+10+things+people+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why&sprefix=The+top+,aps,23

 

xoxo, Linda

Only $2.99 for a limited time! My New Book Is Out! Available at Amazon.com

Introduction

 

The Top 10 Things People Lie About on Online Dating Sites is a guide for men and women to help them in their pursuit of Love via Online Dating Sites.

 

Let’s face it, there are thousands of Online Dating Sites today and most people meet their partners, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, friends with benefits and lovers on Online Dating Sites. The reality is most people are too busy working or just too shy to approach someone on the street to actually go out and hunt down a mate. Thanks to the Internet, you can now find love online or anything else you are looking for.

 

I myself have been an Online Dater on and off since 2002. I have been on quite a few sites, some are not even around anymore because they have been bought out by the bigger names. This was way back when Online Dating was starting to get big. I think it is a great way to meet someone but you have to be very cautious.

 

I met my x-Husband on Match.com in 2002. He was the first guy I saw on there that I was attracted to. I didn’t even bother looking around once I saw him. I contacted him first and needless to say he lied about almost everything and I was too naïve and ignored all of the warning signs. We dated for five years before we got married and he never really changed. He was a Cheater, Liar and a Manipulator who had a handful of women at his disposal at any given time that he used for different purposes. I was his ‘Trophy Girlfriend/Wife’ yet he had many other women around the entire time we were dating and married.

 

The whole disaster of the relationship was my fault because I allowed him to treat me that way and I kept forgiving him and taking him back. Yes, that’s what I said, the whole thing was my fault because as soon as he lied the first time I should have got out and I didn’t.

 

I have learned some hard lessons and the purpose of this book is to help my fellow Online Daters see and recognize the lies that people tell on their profiles and when dating online. I have learned that if someone lies about a little thing for example, where they live, they are hiding something and will lie about anything. It’s up to you to weed out the dishonest Online Daters so you have a chance at finding true love. Click the link below to direct you to Amazon.com

Practically all the relationships I know are based on a foundation of lies and mutually accepted delusion.

Kim Cattrall

 http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=The+top+10+things+people+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

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You Get What You Pay For - Online Dating

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about the different Online Dating Sites. Some are free, some are not. Plenty of Fish is a free site. Unfortunately on POF you get a lot of undesirable people because it is free. I have met several guys on POF who are on that site simply because it is free and they had no income to pay for a better site. Everyone wants free things but if you are on POF, you will notice the quality of Online Daters is just not there. I'm not saying that a miracle couldn't happen where you could meet a nice, honest, loyal, working person on POF but I haven't yet. I have met some nice guys that have become friends but no one of quality yet. This is simply so true the old cliche "you get what you pay for".
Match.com is not a free dating site and I do believe the quality of Online Daters are better on there because they actually have to pay and the price these days is not cheap for Match.com. I remember in 2002 when I first joined Match.com I believe it was 19.99. Today it is much pricier and you have to watch your bank account because they will auto charge you. If you want to keep the price low, cancel after the first month and they will send you millions of emails to come back at a discounted price!
Obviously, you will no doubt see the same Online Daters on several different sites free or not. I am pretty sure people are just trying to be on every site possible in order to meet someone but you just have to be very careful of the free sites because there are a lot of losers and looneys on the free sites.
I tried E-harmony once but I found it to be too restrictive and too much trouble. These days, people want that phone app so they can check real quick when someone notifies them. Most sites make it very easy to view your matches and communicate with other Online Daters.
I say if you are serious about finding a love match, you may want to pay for an Online Dating site because the quality of people is just better. If you just want to date and hook up then the free sites may work for you but remember, it's free so it's a crap shoot of what you're going to attract. To me, quality is so much more important than quantity and on the free sites you will gets lots of quantity but not the quality you deserve.

My new book is out called "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites And Why". It's available on my website "blog tab" or click this link: 
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_5_8?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=the+top+10+things+people+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why&sprefix=The+top+,aps,233


Xoxo, Linda

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Don't Respond To Your X If They Are Dangerous!

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about X's. I myself have been lied to, cheated on numerous times, a victim of theft and deceit, manipulated by and even involved in a murder to hire scheme by an X. This person was the love of my life or so I thought. I let myself be verbally and emotionally abused by the person that I loved and trusted the most. Fortunately for me I was smart enough to get out but the scars are never ending. For the last few years I have not slept well due to the fact that I am afraid for my life. I have even moved my residence a couple times and got a security system for my home.
This all started on a dating site. I ignored all the red flags and hence wasted many many years of my life that I can never get back. Unfortunately, all the distance can still not stop my X from contacting me. He is very manipulative and will go to any lengths to tug at my heart strings even going as far as to bring up my deceased father which was a very emotional time for me. Some people just get off on making other people miserable. It's a control thing. Even though we're divorced he still wants control over my life.
A master manipulator who can string along several women at the same time and knows exactly what to say to keep them on the line. I'm telling you these women he cheated on me with are not attractive and much older than myself. He must have made them feel like they were Pamela Anderson or something to keep them around and they bought every word he said to them. So did I! But I got out and just want to be left alone now. To me, he is dead. I can only hope that the women he's stringing along will find out about my website for their own personal and emotional safety. I believe that God is good and justice will be served and I also know that I have to forgive him and I did but I will never forget or let him draw me back into his life because my life is platinum now compared to what it was with him.
Readers, don't keep bad people around. If someone has hurt you physically, verbally or emotionally, run as fast as you can and never respond to them if they contact you! Never EVER meet them in person alone after you have broken up because they could kill you and I'm not kidding about this! I've seen the Dateline stories about X's that kill because of rejection and mental illness. Don't take that chance, there are way too many fish in the sea to hang on to someone that is harmful and dangerous to you. Be good to yourself and stay safe.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why


Xoxo, Linda

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Should you sign a Pre-Nup or not?

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about "Pre-Nups". I have a friend who was all engaged and ready to get married yet 2 days before the wedding he told her she had to sign a "Pre-a nup" or he would not marry her. They had been in church marriage counseling for a few months and he never even mentioned anything about a pre-nup! What a piece of work that guy is. Seriously to go through all the motions of the engagement, the engagement party, the bachelorette party, friends and family flying in from out of town and never bring this up until 2 days before the wedding? What would you do! Honestly this friend of mine owns her own home and is already financially stable so she's not in it for money but my opinion is he should have brought this up during the pre marital counseling! I think he's a coward! My friend called the wedding off and I'm happy she did because what else could he be holding back from telling her? This is deception in my opinion and I certainly believe in pre-nups as long as both parties are satisfied. I myself will never co-mingle my money with a man even if I were to marry again. I got burned badly by me x-husband who embezzled a great amount of my money before we separated and I never got it back. Lesson learned. My friend will be ok because she has lots of family and friends to help her get over this but where are the REAL men out there that are honest and forthright these days? Someone please tell me so I can go to wherever they are! I'm pretty sure they are not on dating sites but you never know unless you keep trying.
Everyone deserves someone to love and a life partner but I have no idea where they are.

My new book is out called "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites And Why". It's available on my website "blog tab" or click this link: 
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_5_8?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=the+top+10+things+people+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why&sprefix=The+top+,aps,233

 


Xoxo, Linda

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Ladies, Don't Go To His Place On The First Date!

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about Online Dating safety. I get many messages from guys that want me to come to their place for the first meeting. First off, I think this could mean a lot of different things. 1. They are too lazy to go to a agreed upon meeting place that is public where you can feel safe and comfortable. You do all the work by driving to his place and he does probably zero. I got a message from a guy that said " I just picked up a 6 pack of beer want to join me at my place to relax? This guy is out of his mind obviously and any woman that would do this is really stupid in my opinion! 2. They are seeing how far you will go, if you are willing to go to their place on the first date then that is what they will expect your entire dating life with him. They have no clue how to date and they just want to get laid. I'm sure they will have alcohol for you, then you might drink too much and of course he'll want you to spend the night. Don't fall for this! 3. They may be a dangerous person who might try and date rape you or worse. Don't take that chance!
A genuine guy will want you to feel comfortable and safe. I say let him come to you ( not at your house) but somewhere close. This will show good intentions on his part and I'm old fashioned, I believe he should come to you. Don't let him pick you up at your house even if he is insisting! You don't know this person and remember he's a total stranger.
Another guy wanted me to come to his place so he could BBQ and then sit in his jacuzzi! This is a ploy to see what you look like in a bikini. Don't fall for that either! Be very careful as this Online Dating is good but can be very dangerous.

My new book is out called "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites And Why". It's available on my website "blog tab" or click this link: 
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_5_8?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=the+top+10+things+people+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why&sprefix=The+top+,aps,233

 

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Plenty of Fish Online Creeper! Meow! Warning Sexual Content!

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about a POF Online Dater. I got a message from this POF guy. "Llove2eatkitt". This guy's profile read like this: 'I am not looking for a girlfriend or relationship just to pleasure you that's it. No going out on dates, just getting a room I go down on you to climax and if you want to stay and chill great if not you go on your way till next time"!
This is what really upsets me about Online Dating. Anyone can create a profile and say pretty much whatever they want. This person could be a serial killer, married, or even in a committed relationship. Why would any woman respond to this guy? I wonder if he got any replies..
These Online Dating sites are for DATING! If you are looking for just sex, go to Vegas and get a prostitute! These guys need to stay off of the dating sites! I can't even believe what I read!
Women, if you get a message like this from an Online Creeper, for your own safety do not even reply to him. He is looking for attention and he could be a very dangerous person! Don't even give him a reply, you will just open yourself up for something bad or dangerous! Remember, anyone can go on these sites and look at your personal information and pictures. Please be very vague and do not reveal too much personal information about yourself on your profiles. These people are total strangers and I think we tend to forget that all too often. Be safe, not sorry.

*update* I reported this guy and POF took his profile down...

 

My new book is out called "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites And Why". It's available on my website "blog tab" or click this link: 
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_5_8?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=the+top+10+things+people+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why&sprefix=The+top+,aps,233


Xoxo, Linda

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High School Friends Re-connected after 30 years!

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about re-connecting with my old high school friends. I have recently connected with and see at least once a week with my high school friends. It's such a great feeling reminiscing and having drinks! We are having the best time.
We've gone on several trips, sailing to Catalina, San Francisco and more.
Some of us are divorced, some are still married , almost all of us have kids and we just have so much fun and respect for each other.
If you have friends, keep them around because they are loyal and they love you and they want what's best for each Other! I love them and thank them for being in my life!

 

My new book is out called "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites And Why". It's available on my website "blog tab" or click this link: 
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_5_8?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=the+top+10+things+people+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why&sprefix=The+top+,aps,233

Xoxo, Linda

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The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: What Every Online Dater Needs To Know

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