Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about how women change for men. We, and I am saying WE because I am guilty of this myself, find a guy that we are so attracted to that we are willing to give up our entire life for them in order to mold into theirs. This is a mistake and the minute you start to make changes, stop seeing friends, family, stop working out, stop traveling with the girls, stop socializing with friends just to accommodate him and to spend time with him and he notices it, he will lose interest in a New York Minute. Trust me on this one ladies. The minute you become too available then you are not a challenge to him any longer and he loses interest.
As a woman you must continue with your career, family, friends and taking care of yourself and your needs first and then he can come later down the list. The more you keep to your own life the more the man will want you. “If you chase a Man in a Black Nightie, first he will have sex with you… and then he will run” At this point when you start changing your life for him he does not think you put a high value on yourself and he loses respect.
I quit my dream job to be at home with my x-husband. I needed to be with him all the time #1 because I didn’t trust him at all and #2 because I was so insecure with myself even though I didn’t need to be. But I changed my whole life for him. I moved to his city, started banking at his bank, started driving one of his cars, changed my last name and stopped socializing with family and friends. I became his little trophy wife where all I did all day was cook and clean for him. I made all his meals and laid his clothes out for him. Looking back I was so stupid I cannot even believe I did all of that. Especially the part about quitting my dream job.
I learned a lot of hard lessons these last few years and my x ended up doing a lot of terrible things to me that I had no idea he was capable of. I ignored all of the warning signs like an idiot and that is why I created this site to inform other people of what to look out for in their relationships. BTW, I met him on Match.com and I contacted him first because I liked the way he looked but looks can be deceiving as I later learned.
Lesson learned:
1. Don’t kill yourself to impress anyone.
2. Don’t give up your friends and family for any Man.
3. Looks can be deceiving.
4. Listen to your BFF! She/he has your best interest at heart and my biggest mistake was not listening to my BFF. She was always right!
Xoxo, Linda