Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about “Who pays for the date”? There are many scenarios that I can write about pertaining to this subject but I want to keep this very basic for now.

Let’s pretend that a Guy you meet online asks you out for a date. You like him so you say ok. Now, in this case, I always recommend this (Linda’s rule) to say you want to be friends first and then see where it goes, if anywhere. The reason I advise this is that you have no idea what the person did the night before, meaning they could have had sex with a FWB or who knows what? You do not want to get in the middle of a love triangle. FWB partners just really never works out because at least one of you will get emotionally attached, that is why they rarely work out especially if one of the FWB partners is out dating looking for their dream guy or dream girl.

Now, let’s just say he agreed to start out friends first which is great. You do a couple of daytime friend’s things at first which he volunteer’s to pay for, however; always do your own driving to meet him. If he asks you to go Dutch and he is pursuing you, do not go out with the guy again. If you are pursuing him, and I do NOT EVER recommend this, then you can go Dutch but trust me, ladies, if a guy likes you, he will pursue you. Do not chase a guy. A good example is, do you ever notice the guys you are not interested in just will not give up???? The obvious reason is that you are not chasing them down.

Then there’s that one night where things change from friendship to dating. Let me repeat. You are NOT dating until after he tells you he wants to be more than friends and you AGREE. Ok. So, after friendship, it evolves to “DATING”. “JUST DATING”. Not “DATING EXCLUSIVELY”, but “JUST DATING”. Now, let me explain something to make it very clear. When you start dating someone, you and he may still date other people UNLESS you have “That Conversation”, you know the one where you BOTH decide to NOT date other people and date exclusively. If you do not have that conversation, you are still “JUST DATING”. Are we CLEAR? Ok. Now that we have that out of the way, here’s what happens.

Ladies, this is something very important that I want to point out. Just because you are “Dating” a guy, do not ASSUME that he is not dating anyone else. No one owns anyone else’s time. In other words, accept and believe that the other person IS out dating unless you have the conversation to be exclusive. Do not get upset or expect the guy to just stop dating anyone else because he went out with you and you had a really good time.

This is the year 2020 and the dating scene has new rules. Be careful if you get intimate with a guy before having the conversation of being exclusive because he or she could have had sex with someone else after your date or the next day or the day before. Yes, this happens with both sexes.

You are in the “JUST DATING” phase. You two haven’t had the “Exclusive Talk” yet. During the dating period, if the guy asks you out, he should pay PERIOD. After all, most men make more money, and women have to do the following things if you are like me and want to take care of yourself:

1. Nails
2. Hair
3. Make-up
4. Clothes
5. Shoes
6. Eyebrows
7. Botox
8. Perfume
9. Just to name a few

All of these above cost money. What most men do not realize is when we like a guy and want to look and smell good it costs a lot of money for one date. Not to mention the time it takes to get ready when we already are busy enough with a job, kids, family etc. One date could easily cost over $300 for a lady. EASY…..

Now, before we all get upset at Linda, let’s consider a few ways how a lady can reciprocate in the “JUST DATING” phase. Here are a few things that I do and to let my guy know I appreciate him:

1. I’ll bring over dessert when he cooks dinner.
2. I’ll bring his dog a bone if I come over.
3. If I arrive at the restaurant bar first, I will pay for my own drink if he is not there.

So, let’s review a little. Friendship, then dating. He pays for the dates. You reciprocate by bringing over dessert and other things even though you haven’t had “The Exclusive Talk” yet. You buy clothes, perfume, get your nails, hair, and brows done so you look fabulous. That in itself is a lot of time, money and effort just for the guy!

When and if you do have the “Exclusive Date” talk, then it is recommended by me and others to pick up the check once in a while. Cook dinner once in a while etc. Then your guy has earned your time and attention so you absolutely should contribute monetarily once in a while.

A Real Gentleman should never even mention money when you are just dating. If a guy even throws in your face that you never offered to “pick up the check” when out, or even “buy a drink” in the “JUST DATING” phase, then you are not dating a gentleman. A real Gentlemen knows, listens and pays attention to your cute texts, your “I miss you texts”, desserts, etc. and is grateful that you are such a kind and gracious guest. If this happens to you where he may get mad at something and throws the fact that you never picked up the check while “DATING” not “DATING EXCLUSIVELY”, you should never go out with that guy again.

This is a real issue in today’s dating world unfortunately. There are a lot of beautiful women like myself out there that if we were looking for a “Sugar Daddy” it is so easy to find that it is almost ridiculous. I myself am not a “Gold Digger” and if any guy that I was “JUST DATING” ever told me or insinuated that, I would never speak to him again.

And for the guys, I hope that this helps you understand from a ladies side the things that we go through to look good and be fabulous for a Gentleman that we adore.

I am really interested in hearing your feedback and comments. Please contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

XOXO,

Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about a ‘Couch Date’. What exactly is a ‘Couch Date’? Well it’s a date a guy makes that is essentially come on over and watch a movie and I’ll cook you dinner or we’ll eat out later (take-out)…. Mind you, LADIES, DO NOT do this on the FIRST DATE!

Make the guy court you for a few dates before you accept a Couch Date. If you accept a Couch Date on the first date, you are selling yourself short. In fact, never go to a guy’s home on the first date because you are essentially giving him no room to hunt you down…. Men are Hunters by nature…

Back to the Couch Date… So, you have had a few great dates and it’s time to get casual which is totally fine especially if both of you are working professionals and short on time… After all, you don’t need to go out every night!

What does a lady wear to a Couch Date? I guarantee you when you show up to his place for the Couch Date, he will be wearing shorts, flip flops and a tee-shirt…. Actually, that is as sexy to us as women. We really like guys when they wear this type of apparel for the Couch Date… It’s super cute BUT don’t get carried away and think you can dress the same for the very first Couch Date! Ladies ‘HOLD YOUR LIPSTICK’!

For your very first Couch Date you should still be super cute… I suggest a cute pair of jeans, wedges or sexy shoes and an off the shoulder cute blouse…. Lipstick, full make-up and perfume of course…. If he says ‘Why did you get so dressed up just to watch a movie’? You let him know that this is your casual. Trust me, no guy is going to kick you out the door for looking casual/sexy…..  It’s when you show up in pajama pants and slippers he will think twice on the first Couch Date….

This shows him that you respect yourself enough to pretty up for yourself and him and think about this: what if the Couch Date goes really bad? If so, you can politely leave and still go out with your girlfriends… AKA – Plan B…. Always have a Plan B and an Exit Strategy…..

If the first Couch Date goes well and all he wants to do is Couch Dates and stop taking you out, then we have a problem… Couch Dates are reserved for those weeks where you just want to relax….. If he doesn’t want to do anything but Couch Dates from then on, you must stop accepting his Couch Dates until he makes a real date…. And if he doesn’t then you have turned from dream girl to doormat… and a lady of your stature won’t put up with that…..

Ok, second Couch Date…. It is acceptable to wear something a little more casual like a sundress and cute flip flops, I’m not talking ugly worn out flip flops…. Nice in good shape flip flops and a sundress that is in good shape not with bleach stains or holes….

When you use the restroom at his home, pay attention to see if the toilet seat is up or down… The toilet seat should always be DOWN. This is just respectful… If he leaves the toilet seat up then well, he is short on manners after all, he knew you were coming over so the restroom should be clean and the toilet seat down with TOILET PAPER in the holder…. If the TOILET PAPER is laying on the floor or even worse you have to search for it then that is a RED FLAG… He should respect you enough to think of these things…

Beverages... he should have water, wine or cocktails for you there. Don’t offer to bring something on the first Couch Date…. Later on, if things go well, you can certainly BYOW (Bring your own wine)…. He should be thinking of all these things before you come over… In fact a really great Couch Dater will ask you what you would like to drink while you watch the movie….

Let’s talk about the choice in movies on the Couch Date… it should be a chick flick one night and a wam bam shoot-em up movie the next. And, if it is something you have already seen, don’t settle, and just suggest a movie that you both have not seen yet…. It’s perfectly OK to voice your opinion after all men are pleasers and you should indulge him in letting him please you. Same thing goes for the choice in food... If it’s something you do not want, tell him… Trust me, a decent guy will appreciate a lady who knows what she wants and voices her opinion…..

I would love to hear your feedback on Couch Dating so please contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

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XOXO, Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about my FREE Search Site for Online Dating. You can Check Your Date before you go out for FREE or Add a Free listing about your date for the next person. Report someone dangerous so that the next person can find out before they go. I have often heard Online Daters say to me "I wish there was a website where I could go and look a person up before I go out" well, I have created one and it's FREE. You can search by Username and Dating Site.

You can check on the "HOME" page for this information.

Contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

Please check it out so that we can all help each other! http://lindasdatelist.com/

xoxo, Linda