Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about Chivalry. Recently, a friend of mine went on a Tinder Date. The guy was persistent and so they scheduled a mid-day coffee date. 

As she walked into the super cool coffee shop, she noticed him right away already sitting at a table with coffee in hand. She then walked over to him and introduced herself. She then said to him "oh I see you already have your coffee"?  He replied yes and did not offer to go and order hers. So, not wanting to be rude and keep it classy, she went to the counter and ordered her own coffee, and proceeded to sit down.

Below are three BIG DEAL BREAKERS he already committed in the first 30 minutes:

1. When he got to the coffee shop before her, he should have called and asked what she would like and had it ready and paid for.

2. When she approached him, he should have immediately stood up and pulled her chair out, asked her what she would like, and go and order it for her.

3. It's a cup of coffee FFS, it cost around $2 dollars. Don't be a CHEAP A$$ and pay for the dam coffee. 

The story continues - They drank their coffee, made small talk and he said he had to go. So they both got up, walked to the exit and he said goodbye and left. She never heard from him again and didn't want to at that point.

Below are three more  BIG DEAL BREAKERS he committed:

1. When they got up to leave, he didn't get her chair.

2. When they got to the exit, he didn't hold the door for her.

3. He did not walk her to her car.

The moral of this true story is this. If you are not happy with the person's looks or whatever, ALWAYS keep it CLASSY! AlWAYS!..  Even if you feel no connection with the person, you should always be a gentleman. Remember, other people, are always watching when you are in a public place. If I were sitting in the coffee shop, I would have KNOWN right away this guy is a total JERK! People do watch these things, in fact, "people watching" is a very popular pass-time. 

By the way, my friends' pictures on tinder were very recent and not deceiving at all. I am not sure what he was expecting but if you do not feel attracted to the person, do not go out with them. 

My advice for the Ladies.... If any of the above Deal Breakers happen on a first date (especially) they will happen all the time. A man that is committed will have no issue paying for you $2 coffee. Do not go out with a man like this. He definitely showed signs of being selfish and out for himself only and not committed to putting any work into a relationship, even if it's just a friendly relationship. Do not be that lady who accepts this sort of behavior.

I would love to hear your opinions on this. Please contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

XOXO,

Linda 

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about a ‘Couch Date’. What exactly is a ‘Couch Date’? Well it’s a date a guy makes that is essentially come on over and watch a movie and I’ll cook you dinner or we’ll eat out later (take-out)…. Mind you, LADIES, DO NOT do this on the FIRST DATE!

Make the guy court you for a few dates before you accept a Couch Date. If you accept a Couch Date on the first date, you are selling yourself short. In fact, never go to a guy’s home on the first date because you are essentially giving him no room to hunt you down…. Men are Hunters by nature…

Back to the Couch Date… So, you have had a few great dates and it’s time to get casual which is totally fine especially if both of you are working professionals and short on time… After all, you don’t need to go out every night!

What does a lady wear to a Couch Date? I guarantee you when you show up to his place for the Couch Date, he will be wearing shorts, flip flops and a tee-shirt…. Actually, that is as sexy to us as women. We really like guys when they wear this type of apparel for the Couch Date… It’s super cute BUT don’t get carried away and think you can dress the same for the very first Couch Date! Ladies ‘HOLD YOUR LIPSTICK’!

For your very first Couch Date you should still be super cute… I suggest a cute pair of jeans, wedges or sexy shoes and an off the shoulder cute blouse…. Lipstick, full make-up and perfume of course…. If he says ‘Why did you get so dressed up just to watch a movie’? You let him know that this is your casual. Trust me, no guy is going to kick you out the door for looking casual/sexy…..  It’s when you show up in pajama pants and slippers he will think twice on the first Couch Date….

This shows him that you respect yourself enough to pretty up for yourself and him and think about this: what if the Couch Date goes really bad? If so, you can politely leave and still go out with your girlfriends… AKA – Plan B…. Always have a Plan B and an Exit Strategy…..

If the first Couch Date goes well and all he wants to do is Couch Dates and stop taking you out, then we have a problem… Couch Dates are reserved for those weeks where you just want to relax….. If he doesn’t want to do anything but Couch Dates from then on, you must stop accepting his Couch Dates until he makes a real date…. And if he doesn’t then you have turned from dream girl to doormat… and a lady of your stature won’t put up with that…..

Ok, second Couch Date…. It is acceptable to wear something a little more casual like a sundress and cute flip flops, I’m not talking ugly worn out flip flops…. Nice in good shape flip flops and a sundress that is in good shape not with bleach stains or holes….

When you use the restroom at his home, pay attention to see if the toilet seat is up or down… The toilet seat should always be DOWN. This is just respectful… If he leaves the toilet seat up then well, he is short on manners after all, he knew you were coming over so the restroom should be clean and the toilet seat down with TOILET PAPER in the holder…. If the TOILET PAPER is laying on the floor or even worse you have to search for it then that is a RED FLAG… He should respect you enough to think of these things…

Beverages... he should have water, wine or cocktails for you there. Don’t offer to bring something on the first Couch Date…. Later on, if things go well, you can certainly BYOW (Bring your own wine)…. He should be thinking of all these things before you come over… In fact a really great Couch Dater will ask you what you would like to drink while you watch the movie….

Let’s talk about the choice in movies on the Couch Date… it should be a chick flick one night and a wam bam shoot-em up movie the next. And, if it is something you have already seen, don’t settle, and just suggest a movie that you both have not seen yet…. It’s perfectly OK to voice your opinion after all men are pleasers and you should indulge him in letting him please you. Same thing goes for the choice in food... If it’s something you do not want, tell him… Trust me, a decent guy will appreciate a lady who knows what she wants and voices her opinion…..

I would love to hear your feedback on Couch Dating so please contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

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XOXO, Linda