Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about men that are over 50, have never been married and no kids. From my experience, this has been quite the eye opener for me. I see many men on these dating sites that have this scenario. I even saw one with when the question is asked " how long was your longest relationship"? One guy said "less than one year" huh? It makes me wonder ok, over 50, never married, no kids and longest relationship less than one year? Oh, and it says he's looking for a relationship? Huh?
To me, this guy is just looking for a hook-up. He has probably gone through life misleading a lot of women and most likely he will die a lonely old man with his care nurse taking care of him. No wife or kids to care for him. Sadly, he won't realize this until he's too old to change anything and then he"ll be desperately searching for someone to be with because he will realize that he goofed up and will end up all alone.
Then I read their profiles when they are in there 70's and suddenly they are not to picky anymore and their profiles look to be sad because they are desperately searching for someone.
Don't let this be you.
For the ladies, be very wary of men like this on online dating sites. They will take you for a ride for sure. These men will use you and are most likely cheaters and womanizers.
I met my X on Match.com. He was divorced with no kids and only married for a short time previously. He told me he was never getting married again, but he changed his mind quickly when I had a job offer out of state and was going to move and leave him. 2 weeks later he asked me to marry him.
He was a good husband at times but most of the time he wasn't. He was a cheater and refused to be rid of his past girlfriends.
Now, it's been 4 years since I left the marriage after finally coming to my senses and oddly enough we are on the same online dating sites.
I read his profiles and it is just sad. He is so desperate sounding and probably now realizes that he really screwed up in our marriage. He now claims to do all the things he never did with me. Interesting.
Hell yes he fooled me big time. Ended up bringing me to my knees where I didn't think I could go on in my life but by the grace of god I made it.
He will most likely end up a lonely old man with no one to take care of him.
Hey, I may never get married again but at least I have family, children and friends to live life with so I will never really be alone. I have my children to care for me when I get old and that is comforting.
Ladies, be very careful of a man who sounds too good to be true and desperate. There is something wrong with that man. No one is perfect and everyone has faults and baggage.
Comments or questions? Contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com.
Check out my book entitled "The Top 10 Things Peopke Lie About On Onlibe Dating Sites and Why" available at Amazon.com or Kindle.
Click link here to get:
http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1503006204
Xoxo, Linda
You sound like an angry man who needs therapy!! I feel sorry for you because you are probably still mad at your parents for your unhappy childhood. Go to therapy to heal your wounds and trauma.
Linda, I agree with your article 100%. I just got out of a 2 month relationship. Man was an extreme “good catch”, 54, never married, no kids.. longest relationship 6 months. wanted kids wanted marriage... at the end of the day, wanted a hook up, and dropped me and all the “dreams” shortly after. If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. Thanks for your post.
Thank you for your comment. It is sad but true. Longest relationship 6 months? That is a psychological issue and had nothing to do with you. Please remember that it is his problem, not yours. It was him, not you and I am super happy you figured it out in two months. This may not be the last you hear from him though so be wary of those "check-in" texts aka (hookup text)... He is 54 and by that age, it is very rare they will ever change sadly. I call it the Peter Pan syndrome. Take care!
XOXO,
Linda
I ended up here because I am F 61 single, with no children, actually looking for someone who never married or divorced with no children. But as for me, I don't want all the baggage and I come with none. And I do not know what is so bad about being alone. After all, I've been doing it for the last 25 years and there has been no drama, no jealous exes, no cheating, no kids on drugs or pregnant teenagers, no emotional or physical abuse, no demands on my precarious finances ... and I have total freedom. It has been much better than being in a restaurant with Mr. Pushy, as most men are, and having to sneak out of the back door to escape unwanted advances. I am not so feminist that I don't mind having doors opened and meals and wine bought for me, men get paid on average 25% more than women do and have most of the better job opportunities so why not take the opportunity to spread things out a bit when it comes? But I never under any circumstance consider dinner bought for me as payment for sex afterward and so, most of these encounters are uncomfortable at best. Going dutch is not much better, nothing like struggling to pay for your own out of budget meal and being accosted afterward, nonetheless. "Just meeting for coffee" is a little bland, I prefer my Nespresso, I only drink coffee in the morning and there is nothing like caffeine jitters on a first date. I am not gay but frankly, most men leave a lot to be desired, physically and intellectually. I wouldn't call it "bitter" to say, if I am going to go to the trouble of including a person of the male sex in any part of my daily activities I expect betterment of my daily existence, otherwise, why bother? I am an intellectually active creature with way too much to do as it is. My instinct is that any man who uses the word "bitter" toward any woman is one to avoid. It is part of that entitlement mentality men are raised with whereby, if you do not regard his attention as God's gift to the earth and willingly prostitute your sex to him for the price of a meal then there is something wrong with YOU. Ha! I have the intelligence and wit to master many of my favorite restaurant meals in my own kitchen and I find wine tasting of much higher quality and much more affordable in bottle form out of my local wine merchant. I really don't NEED to have a man take me out to dinner to have a life. I never NEEDED to become a single mom statistic or to take-up dating the multitude of married or divorced men with children just so I won't be lonely in old age. When a man successfully convinces me he is worth my time and lives up to it that will be great for me. But as of this time, it looks to me more and more like they are not even trying.
Amen to all of what you said! I completely understand the baggage component of meeting someone with baggage. These days I find men ABSOLUTELY DO EXPECT sex on a first date or shortly thereafter. It is disrespectful and I believe the reason is because too many ladies give in and so they expect it.
I am with you 100% on this. I am much like you at this time in my life except I have two kids, one in heaven and a daughter here but she’s an adult. It was very hard to date when they were young so I just did not. You are right about most men not trying or not wanting to court a lady, it’s very rare to find that. I want you to know I really, really appreciate your comment!
XOXO
Linda
Hmmm... When I worked in my store, my boyfriend talked to me and we started to date. He is 58 and never married, no kids. His 17 years ago girlfriend sent facebook friend request and she emailed him. He refused to disconnect with her in facebook. So, I announced breakup. I am not sure about break-up. Could you help me?
Hi,
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry that happened to you. Can I ask how long he has been your boyfriend? On his Facebook profile, does it state he is in a relationship? Does he post pictures of the two of you on his Facebook page? Please get back to me on these questions.
Is his X-girlfriend single or married?
Thanks love,
XOXOXO,
Linda
It's interesting to see how a lady thinks of single guys over 50 who've never married or had kids, I noticed a few comments of bitterness, I don't follow that trend as although I personally haven't heard comments against older women not being married, if I'm honest, I don't know of any women either not married or at least in a relationship, but I'm sure men say similar, so no I don't go down the bitterness route, that just sounds picky, but can I, as an over 50, never married man with no kids share as to why I'm single?
To be honest, I wouldn't use dating sites, I've heard many horror stories from both men and women who've met perspective partners online, so no, I have to be honest and say, that's not for me, I'm a bit old fashioned in that way.
I will start by saying, I'm no oil painting, being honest, I've been told by many, including my own family that I'm ugly, I went grey at the age of 14, I don't use hair dye, it's a part of who I am, I accept it. I tried dating in my teens and early 20's, women saw me as desperate because of my looks so used me to boost their ego and cheat. At that time, I tried sex with a partner, I hated it, at the time I just thought I'll get used to it, but no, I really felt it was unnatural, bearing in mind, this was back in the 80's, I had never heard of anyone else who felt like this, I just thought I'm abnormal, broken, relationships never lasted long, everyone I went with cheated on me, in total, I had maybe 13 relationships, I had sex maybe 5 times with 2 different partners, it wasn't right for me, my longest relationship lasted 28 days, that was back in 1991, that was down to my lack of sex drive, after that, I stopped looking, yes I miss the intimacy of relationships, but the thought of having sex, it just put an end to it. It wasn't until a few years ago I discovered that I wasn't the only one who doesn't like sex and that there's a term for it, by the time I discovered that, I was doing a single persons job, (I'm a truck driver), working long hours, working away from home for days/weeks at a time, now I'm in my mid 50's, still single, no kids, a family that don't want to know me because I've never married (they think I'm gay, still a big stigma attatched even in this day and age), I'm used to this life, all the comments that go with it, my friends have accepted me for who I am, I have plenty of godchildren, mostly grown up now, but when I'm out with the younger ones over the park playing football or pushing them on the swings, I get comments of being a pedophile, I've even had the police called out to me for being on my own with young kids that have grown up around me.
I'm not perfect, I'm not too good to be true, I'm me, I don't go on dating sites, I doubt I'm suitable dating material now, so I don't try, but I do often get comments, and I have to say, moreso from women than men who pass judgement because I've never married, most of the comments relate to being gay, a pedophile or a pervert.
Sorry for the long winded comment, but I thought I'd give another point of view.
Many thanks
Hi guest,
First if all, I am so sorry for your struggles. I think that some people do not like sex just like some people do not want to have kids. I think it's more common than you think.
I don't want to hear you say you're ugly because someone told you that. You are not ugly. No one is ugly. God does not make mistakes and he created you for a purpose. You just need to know what that purpose is. It sounds to me like you are a great god-father and friend.
One thing is you really need to try as hard as you can to not care what people think of you. Believe me, this is even hard for the most beautiful people both male and female. Everyone is insecure or not happy with something about them.
Sex is not that important and over-rated. You should find what makes you happy and not everyone is intended to be married. That's the beauty of God's many gifts to us. We are all called to do something in this life and just ask god to help you find it and he will.
Sex does not equal happiness, just ask a prostiture or a paraplegic.
I hope this helps you, my blog is referring to men out there in the prowl for sex only without commitment. Clearly thIs does not apply to you!
Take care my friend and thank you for sharing your story!
XOXOXO, Linda
Hi Linda,
Thank you very much for your response. It's odd really, but I read your post after someone suggested that I try online dating, they couldn't understand how I had been single for so long, I have a lot of friends both male and female, they're married or in relationships, two of my godchildren are married, I always get asked the usual question, "got yourself a partner yet?" or "when are you going to settle down and get married?" I guess the answer is never, not due to being frightened of committment, my job aside, I don't believe that I was destined to get married or have a partner.
It does seem though that men out on the prowl, looking for sex without committment and those alike to myself are very, very often tarred with the same brush.
You are so right! It's so sad there are so many nice guys out there and then you have the selfish creepy ones out for sex only. You're prospective is very encouraging actually because some people are just not meant to be married, God has another purpose and maybe his purpose for you is to show others it's ok to not be married! Take care my friend, you're one of the very few good guys out there and I appreciate you!
XOXOXO, Linda
Not too bitter there are we? lol