“Finally, the Man Cave”


He pretty much called me every day even though I didn’t see him every day. I was feeling all the “in love signals” from him. He constantly sent emails and I didn’t even own a computer yet but my BFF did and she was always calling me and sending the emails back to him for me so he didn’t even know I didn’t own a computer. A short time later I finally had the money to buy one and I was very happy about that.
After our last date at the Hotel he decided I should come over to his apartment but he said he needed to get the maid over before (Lois was her name). So, I made it over to his STUDIO apartment one evening during the week and I was completely shocked at what I found. Seriously, it was a total nightmare of an apartment. It did look like the maid had come but it was super small and super old and in a not so desirable building. I didn’t care… I really didn’t care… I was just so happy to finally be invited to his place nothing else mattered.
One thing, he always was telling me how pretty I was and that always made me feel really special. HE said he could stare at my face for the rest of his life and never get tired of it. Ahhhh… He’s everything I hoped for. HE was physically the most attractive man I have ever seen. 6’1, 190lbs and the total All American Athlete type. Still to this day I can say I was so attracted to him physically it was a total joke! We were the perfect match I thought and he didn’t have kids of his own which I was totally (at the time) excited about I mean who needs any distractions? I wanted to see with him, be with him every hour, every minute of every day. He was so funny and smart and we shared a lot of the same political interests etc. I thought he was the one for me and I was going to do whatever it took to get him.
Red Flags I ignored:
• Lots of face creams in the bathroom most of what women would use. I mean the entire vanity area was full of them.
• Nail polish on the counter adjacent to the kitchen. I did ask him about that and he said it was his x-wife’s and he just never got rid of it. HUH? I was so stupid to let this one go… DUH!
• A studio apartment? I was renting a modest 2 bedroom for my kids and I and on my low salary I could afford it so I knew he could afford better so why was he living like this? Later, I come to realize he was just cheap.
• HE never took me out to dinner, NEVER! I always just came over after dinner time and we would rent movies. Big Red Flag there. He should have been taking me out and courting me I mean who doesn’t go out to dinner???
At that point I started seeing him about 2 times a week and spending the night even though I wanted to see him more he always had an excuse why we couldn’t get together and I accepted that. My BFF was always suspicious especially since he never took me out to dinner that really bothered her as it should have and she warned me over and over again and I just didn’t listen. I didn’t want to hear it. Stupid girl, stupid girl.
Lessons learned:
1. Make sure a guy courts you and actually takes you out in public. I know this sounds strange to some people and you wouldn’t think this could actually happen but it does and it did to me and lots of other women (you know who you are).
2. If a man has facial creams and nail polish in his apartment and he’s not gay, then there are other women that frequent there. DUH!
3. Looks are deceiving.
4. Listen to your BFF!