Feature Comparison of Women I’ve Dated

Hello Readers,
Last summer when I was dating a little more, I decided I’d like to narrow the field of woman I’d dated. When I started comparing their differences, I realized I’d need to get it down on paper so I could look over the information easier. I set up a chart with one word headings of different ‘features’ that were important to me or were at least worth noting. Now the column headers are just my personal criteria but anyone could create their own comparison based on what they are looking or not looking for in a prospective dating partner. This is not a comparison for a spouse, roommate, or long term relationship…It’s just a short list so I could keep it all straight. Have some fun and make your own. You may be surprised what you learn about yourself when you get it all down in one place.

NAME-Put down the name to stay organized.
AGE- It’s nice to know how old someone is. The closer to your age, the more things you may have in common. Most of the woman were older than me!
KIDS-I’m a parent and if a woman has kids, we have a big item in common. More importantly, this Mom most likely knows more about sharing, self-sacrifice, responsibility and is not the center of her universe. For some reason, I’m more attracted to Moms.
TIME AVAILABLE-Ever go out with someone who wants to meet that special person but can only see you once a month because they are too busy? Well I have and it’s not what I’m into. I’m interested in someone who can fit me in their schedule a bit or at least will try and make time. Perhaps they weren’t that into me either which is fine but I don’t want to keep following up only to get pushed aside. Life’s to short, time for us both to move on…
FEELINGS AVAILABLE-Sometimes I’ve been into someone but they don’t feel as strongly back. Maybe they just weren’t as attracted or maybe they don’t offer themselves up that easily. (And I’m speaking of many dates, not in one night) At some point you have to be honest with yourself and decide if they are worth putting the time into…especially if you have strong feeling for them. No fun being the only one in love…Even if they’re not in love with you…Is there even a chance they could love? Figure this out early on!
ATTRACTED-This could be a whole comparison unto itself. When I say attraction, for myself I mean everything bundled into this one word. Their face, body, skin, smell, persona, libido, sex skills….everything. I give this a 1 to 10 rating with 10 being highest. Very important to me especially if were dating.
DISTANCE-Closer is better! I don’t want to spend my whole life on the freeway chasing down this person…Within 20 miles is best but I’ve driven far for a lady I really liked. (But would have preferred her closer).
HOME-Do they own their own home or are they renting a room or apartment?
JOB-Do they have a job? If they don’t can they support themselves? If the dating develops into something serious, I don’t want to have to support someone else. I already have children to support. Sorry but even if you’re a supermodel, at this age, I want you self-sufficient.
EDUCATION-I attended and graduated from college. It’s not a deal breaker but I find I’m more attracted to woman who’ve gone to college. They tend to be better speakers, more sociable, more interesting, worldlier…and most likely have a decent job they are happy with.

As Good As I Was To You!


Dear x-husband. We were not married yet. It was a Saturday night and I was going to a party (you never took me to any parties) and I was going with my good friend who happens to be gay. You showed up at my house all dressed up unexpected? You saw my friend and I walk to his car. You came out of the shadows and said “Who is this”? I told you it was my gay friend, then I asked what you were doing at my condo. After all you lived 18 miles away from me??? You gave me a half ass excuse. Whatever!
You left. My friend and I decided to stop by the local bar/restaurant down the street. We walked into the bar and there you were with another woman! WTF?? I walked right over to you and you were shocked to see me. I said who is this and you told me to leave the bar? Again, WTF? I asked the girl do you know that XXX and I are engaged. She answered back and said “No I didn’t”. Then x-husband you denied that we were engaged even with the ring on my finger which I showed her!
What a total jerk you were. AS good as I was to you and this is the way you treat me?? I politely told her that all you wanted was a sex... Which is entirely true. She was shocked that this was happening. My heart was racing and I thought my friend was going to kick your ass. I think he should have…
You left the bar because we were starting a scene….
Lessons learned:
1. Looks are deceiving.
2. One a cheater always a cheater.
3. Don’t stay with someone who denies you in front of other people.
4. Don’t stay with someone if you catch the cheating on you.
5. Listen to all your friends and your BFF.
Xoxo, Linda

X-Husband Go Away!





Dear x-husband, you woke me up this morning to a threatening email. Dear x-husband, you accused me of calling your girlfriend. Really? I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend but I am not surprised as there are many stupid women out there like I was. Dear x-husband, I have better things to do than sit around and think about you and what you are doing. Dear x-husband, you screwed me over, cheated on me, stole my money and inquired with an x-girlfriend to take a hit out on my daughter and I! Why would I want anything to do with you? Dear x-husband, after reading the emails you sent to me today it looks like you haven’t changed at all. Honestly your girlfriend accused you of cheating.. DUH! Dear x-husband, what you really mean to say is she CAUGHT you cheating just like I did numerous times…
Dear x-husband, you are dumb enough to send me the email she sent to you? LMFAO… She said you have never taken her on a date. BIG SHOCKER! That was my biggest complaint for you… You are weird… something is wrong with you. You have to take a girl out once in a while…. It’s unbelievable that you think you are that HOT that you don’t have to put any effort into a relationship.
Dear x husband, sweet validation is what I felt today. Dear x-husband, thank you for making my day I feel so much better now knowing it was not just me it was YOU, yes YOU!!
Dear x-husband, I kindly reminded you that I have a life now and I know a lot of generous men that take me out all the time. Dear x-husband, my life is much better now and more fulfilled.
Dear x-husband, will you ever learn?

Xoxo, Linda

Dear Mr. Money,
You wanted to meet on a spur the moment… I gave in only because I had no other plans. We met and when I saw you, you were a lot heavier than your pictures. You were a BIG buy and you drove a little white convertible Mercedes (Looks like your wife’s car). It’s like when you see a big guy walking a little dog… it’s just weird... And YES he had a little dog… LMAO…
Dear Mr. Money, I know you are a good looking guy just a little overweight so you have to lead with your money… within the first 30 minutes I had you figured out because you told me the following things within the first 30 minutes.
1. You used to be a male model. (I can believe this because you were very handsome just let yourself go)
2. You were a millionaire (You mentioned you were the CEO about 50 times during the entire night)
3. You gave your ex-wife a lot of money and a house in the divorce (Why would you divulge this on a first date? Are you trying to tell me something?)
4. You know everything about the ocean, you are an expert at most things. (I hate a Know it All)
5. I can tell you had a bad temper. You had no patience with anyone the entire night. You could blow it at any minute, it was kind of scary.
6. You had me drive you to your car which was only one block away? REALLY? I mean, REALLY? Have you heard of a Personal Trainer? I heard if you have a lot of money you can hire one. I would be good for you to get in shape and get healthy. It doesn’t matter how much money you have if you are not healthy…
Dear Mr. Money you never even said anything about me. You never told me I was pretty or anything. You complimented my car. You were a gentleman and I appreciate that but you are also a very insecure guy. There are books out there you can read. If you have to lead with your money I am not interested. I am not “One of those ladies” who is looking for a Sugar Daddy… I actually have to like you and be attracted to you I don’t care how much money you have! I am a very independent, secure and attractive woman and I refuse to settle.
Dear Mr. Money, here is some advice for you for your next date.
1. Go to an Anger Management Class.
2. Hire a personal trainer with all your money it shouldn’t be a problem.
3. Read a good book on Men and Women. Suggestion “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”. It’s a very basic book and easy to read and very informative.
BTW, this was a POF date.
Lessons learned:
1. If a guy is too persistent, that is a red flag. You want a man that works around your schedule.
2. If a Man leads with his money, red flag. He is hiding something. I have a feeling that this guy probably had some domestic violence issues in his past.
3. Looks can be deceiving and people post OLD pictures.
4. Talk to the guy on the phone more than once before meeting you can tell a lot about a person just by talking to them on the phone a couple times.
5. Women want LOVE not money… it’s true but if you can find both then that’s great.
6. We want a nice warm body that is going to be next to us at night and stand beside us during the day.
Xoxo, Linda

“Back Together”


Yes, you read it right “Back Together”. I was OBSESSED with this man. I was so heartbroken I couldn’t eat or sleep. I decided to go and see a therapist. I had been answering his “apology emails” and so I told him I was going to see a therapist. He was OK with that. So, I made an appointment and went and saw the therapist. I told him all about this man’s cheating and the entire story. I also told him that this man had his Master’s Degree in Psychology and even practiced it for a bit according to him. The therapist was appalled! He told me that this man was a total jerk and no wonder he isn’t practicing anymore. It made sense to me but felt good to hear it from a professional. I had my BFF behind me the entire time. She was always telling me to dump him and I never would listen to her. I didn’t listen to the therapist either. In fact, after my therapy session I headed over to his house at his request so we could “talk about it”.
Well, after talking about it and us both crying about the entire mess we decided we wanted to stay together and I would have to trust him and he would do everything he could to help me get over this. I secretly thought to myself that I was happy this happened and that it must be meant to be and I had his full attention now and I instantly I mean instantly felt better in fact I fell deeper in love knowing that he was so upset he did this to me he even cried!.
It became a game of got to get this guy! Operation get this guy and change his ways after all I was so “special” that of course he made a mistake but I know he would never do it again!
Life was blissful for a few months even though I knew I couldn’t trust him but he did check in with me when he was supposed to and I was still traveling every week M-F so it was super tough that “I wonder what he is doing feeling” it never EVER went away. I never trusted him again even though I tried very hard to.
Lessons learned:
1. If a man cheats on you don’t take him back!
2. Once a cheater always a cheater applies.
3. Looks can be deceiving.
4. What you see is what you get.
5. You can’t change someone no matter how adorable you think you are.
6. Listen to your BFF.

“Global email”


The next day after the confrontation with him I got together with my BFF and we decided we should let all the women know what he was doing to all of them so we sent out a global email to all the ladies he was cheating on. We were so surprised at the response we got back. Most of the women knew he was seeing other women! All of them were older than him which was about 10 years my senior. They were all in love with him and didn’t care about the other women as long as they got their time with him. HUH? This was totally unacceptable to me because obviously he let them know up front what he was doing but for me he didn’t say a word. I guess I was his trophy girlfriend.
One lady in particular actually wanted to talk on the phone with me so I let her call me. We had quite the discussion. Seems she just pleasured him but didn’t get much satisfaction herself and she was OK with that. She was totally shocked to learn some of the things I told her that we did. You have to know that my heart was breaking. I was so upset I couldn’t eat or sleep. She seemed to be very upset knowing he had a pretty girlfriend as he told her he didn’t have a girlfriend. I was perplexed to say the least until she sent me her picture… Then I understood a little she was the complete opposite of me a brunette and not an attractive one either! Turns out she was the one who was at his apartment that Saturday when he cancelled on me I mean this woman spilled the beans with me. She wanted to meet in person and I said no I didn’t want to discuss this whole thing with her she was a different breed then myself for sure.
We continued to go back and forth and then she turned the tables on me and tried to talk me into NOT getting back together with him. He was already emailing me and begging for forgiveness and she didn’t like that and the fact she told on him he was furious with her and had sent her some not so nice emails. It was clear he wanted me but he also wanted his cake and eat it too. Speaking of cake, I made this man his favorite cake every week before I would travel for work so he could think of me. I was so stupid wasting my precious time after finding out what he did to me but I never stopped. Probably up to the week before we separated I was always cooking for him his favorite meals. I was so in love with this man it was SICK.
Another girl emailed back as well she asked me if I had seen her expensive watch. She had spent the night with him and left her watch and when she asked about it he blamed it on the maid and said he couldn’t find it. I never saw a women’s watch but what a total jerk not to give it back to her. She said to me “well I guess that’s what I get for spending the night with a guy I hardly knew”. She was right.
Lessons learned:
1. Be careful of the guy who uses women for sex and has multiple sex partners this is so unsafe and irresponsible in today’s world.
2. Once a cheater always a cheater is a true fact.
3. Don’t kiss and tell.
4. Don’t take the guy back there are plenty other good and faithful men out there to choose from.
5. Listen to your BFF.
6. Looks can be deceiving.

“Quarterback Sneak”


Eventually he moved out of his studio apartment and into a one bedroom which happened to be right next door to his current apartment. By the way, the complex had a security door where he would actually have to buzz you in there was no other access. We continued our relationship and I was falling deeper and deeper in love with him.
It was a Saturday and I had planned on going to his apartment that night and he suddenly emailed me with an excuse why he couldn’t see me that night. I thought it was really weird and I had a sick feeling in my stomach my women’s intuition was telling me something just wasn’t right. I was very upset. My BFF was very suspicious as well. I remembered one time he told me his password to his email when I was at his apartment so I decided to sign in under his username and what I found was so disturbing! My heart sunk and broke into a million pieces.
I read email after email from him to a number of different ladies. HE was seeing multiple women at the same time but it was all about sex with them. They would come to his apartment on different days of the week obviously on the days I wasn’t there. You see, I traveled during the week for my job M-F so I didn’t see him during the week at the time so he had the perfect girlfriend in me because he could do what he wanted during the week.
My BFF read all the emails too. My heart was racing I didn’t know what to do I wanted to cry and I did and scream and anyway I just freaked out! I had to see him and confront him so I drove to his apartment about 10 pm on that Saturday night. I called him and made up a story of why I had to see him and I was right outside. So, he reluctantly let me in. I swear to this day I think there was a girl in the bedroom as I met him in the doorway. I asked him who this certain woman was. From the email, she had been to his apartment that day during the day for a sexcapade. HE told me she was just a friend and he denied everything else. I was so upset I ended up telling him off especially since we were not using protection because we were supposed to be in a monogamous relationship and that scared me more than anything.
You should have seen the look on his face when he realized I knew everything all of his secrets. He was panicky and really sweating it. He asked me to leave and I did. I was so devastated by this I had to see a therapist. By the way, this man had a Master’s Degree in psychology and even did an internship so when I told the therapist that he told me well he should not be practicing because this guy is a very bad guy. He was right and my BFF was right. I should have listened to them!

Lessons learned:
1. Always listen to your intuition it is always right. If something doesn’t make sense then something isn’t right.
2. Don’t be so naïve. Accepting feeble excuses is not a good thing think more highly of yourself!
3. Listen to your BFF.
4. Looks are deceiving!

“He’s Still on Dating Sites?”


I continued to see him even about 2-3 times a week. I thought he was falling in love with me I mean he was so charming and funny. We had a routine where I would just come to his apartment and stay the night. He never took me out to dinner. Eventually, we started ordering take out but he would never go and sit down at a restaurant. I was accepting this as the norm and getting used to it I mean after all I was getting to see him more and he was getting me food and showering me with attention and lots and lots of emails that were so sweet they made me melt. There was always alcohol involved as he would always have it there for me.
Meanwhile, my BFF was checking all of the online dating sites and guess what? He was on almost all of them! This was puzzling and disturbing to me because we were supposed to be “exclusive”.
I asked him about it and he said it was his brother using his picture? HUH? Why would you let your brother use your picture he must not be attractive (later I found out his brother was not attractive). My BFF and I didn’t buy his story so we came up with a plan.
My BFF set up a fake profile on one of the dating sites and emailed him. Of course it was his him he so eagerly gave her his email address and so we knew he was a liar! What did I do about it you ask? I broke things off with him I mean I caught him lying and that meant he was seeing other girls so I broke it off.
A couple days later he emails me (if you haven’t figured it out by now this man lived by his email) and asks if we can start seeing each other again and he says he removed himself from the dating sites. So, what do I do going against the advice of my BFF I take him back. After all I was in love with this guy he was perfect for me I mean he just needs to get used to having a girlfriend he never did it to hurt me. Right? DUH!
So, things moved along and those face creams and nail polish never went away… interesting… I also found a pony tail clip for a women’s hair. I told myself this had to be his x-wife’s.

Lesson learned:
1. Something is wrong when a guy won’t take you out to dinner.
2. If he’s on dating sites after you are exclusive dump him he’s a player.
3. When you catch him red handed dump him!
4. After you dump him DON”T GO BACK TO HIM!
5. Listen to your BFF!
6. Looks are deceiving!

Not the NORM


What do you do when you meet a man who has it all money, fame, looks and charm? Well along comes my knight in shining armor (so I thought)…. When I met this guy through all of our 2 weeks of dating he brought me flowers every time we met. Wine and chocolate too. He really had it all… took me to all of the nicest places..
WAIT- RED FLAGS:
1. He asks me to move in with the first 3 dates.
2. He says he loves me within the first 5 dates.
3. He takes me to his business to try and impress me (Our very last date) Meanwhile on his desk in his office was pictures of girls half naked autographed to him. (I think he was heavily into porn now that I think about it at retrospect).
4. He talks about our first time being intimate and brings up the art of S&M… Really?? I thought he was kidding… I even laughed it off as he was describing what he was going to do to me… AHHHHH… HELP ME!
That was the last phone call we ever had. I had learned everything I needed to and then some. I emailed him the next day and broke it off.

Lesson to learn: If it’s too good to be true then it probably is too good to be true….

 “Finally, the Man Cave”


He pretty much called me every day even though I didn’t see him every day. I was feeling all the “in love signals” from him. He constantly sent emails and I didn’t even own a computer yet but my BFF did and she was always calling me and sending the emails back to him for me so he didn’t even know I didn’t own a computer. A short time later I finally had the money to buy one and I was very happy about that.
After our last date at the Hotel he decided I should come over to his apartment but he said he needed to get the maid over before (Lois was her name). So, I made it over to his STUDIO apartment one evening during the week and I was completely shocked at what I found. Seriously, it was a total nightmare of an apartment. It did look like the maid had come but it was super small and super old and in a not so desirable building. I didn’t care… I really didn’t care… I was just so happy to finally be invited to his place nothing else mattered.
One thing, he always was telling me how pretty I was and that always made me feel really special. HE said he could stare at my face for the rest of his life and never get tired of it. Ahhhh… He’s everything I hoped for. HE was physically the most attractive man I have ever seen. 6’1, 190lbs and the total All American Athlete type. Still to this day I can say I was so attracted to him physically it was a total joke! We were the perfect match I thought and he didn’t have kids of his own which I was totally (at the time) excited about I mean who needs any distractions? I wanted to see with him, be with him every hour, every minute of every day. He was so funny and smart and we shared a lot of the same political interests etc. I thought he was the one for me and I was going to do whatever it took to get him.
Red Flags I ignored:
• Lots of face creams in the bathroom most of what women would use. I mean the entire vanity area was full of them.
• Nail polish on the counter adjacent to the kitchen. I did ask him about that and he said it was his x-wife’s and he just never got rid of it. HUH? I was so stupid to let this one go… DUH!
• A studio apartment? I was renting a modest 2 bedroom for my kids and I and on my low salary I could afford it so I knew he could afford better so why was he living like this? Later, I come to realize he was just cheap.
• HE never took me out to dinner, NEVER! I always just came over after dinner time and we would rent movies. Big Red Flag there. He should have been taking me out and courting me I mean who doesn’t go out to dinner???
At that point I started seeing him about 2 times a week and spending the night even though I wanted to see him more he always had an excuse why we couldn’t get together and I accepted that. My BFF was always suspicious especially since he never took me out to dinner that really bothered her as it should have and she warned me over and over again and I just didn’t listen. I didn’t want to hear it. Stupid girl, stupid girl.
Lessons learned:
1. Make sure a guy courts you and actually takes you out in public. I know this sounds strange to some people and you wouldn’t think this could actually happen but it does and it did to me and lots of other women (you know who you are).
2. If a man has facial creams and nail polish in his apartment and he’s not gay, then there are other women that frequent there. DUH!
3. Looks are deceiving.
4. Listen to your BFF!