Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about Facebook. Years ago when Facebook first started, it was fun and a great way to get in touch with old family members and schoolmates etc. It has brought a lot of people together that have lost touch over the years. Myself personally, I LOVE Facebook because it keeps me informed about family members that I love and care about and friends.
However; in the last year or so I have noticed that it is more like a dating site these days. I accept a lot of friend requests if we have mutual friends and after I look at their account, I decide whether to accept them or not. This has posed a problem because I also have Facebook Messenger where I get many friends of friends that hit me up for dates all the time. It’s like I accept their invite and 60 seconds later BOOM, I get a notification on messenger flirting with me. UGH!
This is annoying because in my case I am a lady and I get many guys that I am not the least bit attracted to hitting on me… Just because I accepted your request, does not mean I want to be your girlfriend or meet for coffee or whatever. I, like many of you have a busy life and do not always have time to meet all of my friends on Facebook especially if they are hitting on me….
Then comes the question, do I unfriend them or block them? Yes, I have done that a lot but what about if you have mutual friends that you talk to or see frequently? This puts me in an awkward position.
My profile may say I am single but that doesn’t mean I am not dating someone at the time. I would never change my status unless it was a very serious relationship and that takes time. So, let’s make one thing clear, just because it says single on my status, does not mean I am available. I may be dating someone really special and am off the market so to speak.
I am sure this works both ways and I am sure this happens to the guys as well and I feel sorry for them( a little) because let’s face it they are guys and they love to feed their ego. (Sorry, not sorry). I just know men too well. But I am sure there are exceptions to this too.
Another thing that blows me away is the “People You May Know” section on Facebook. These are the people that are looking at your profile. Most of the guys looking at mine are married or in a relationship yet they are constantly looking. I am tired of seeing the same old faces on there not to mention then I get their wives or girlfriends looking too. Hey, I am NOT DOWN for a Love Triangle situation whatsoever!
Why are you looking? Ok, I may be pretty but I am not posting risqué pictures or anything like that at all so the fact is that they will look for a week or two and then the request comes in. If I accept, then the messenger comes…. It’s a vicious cycle….
Something not everyone knows is Facebook does indeed have a dating site called Facebook Dating. In fact there are at least 8 that I just did a search for that came up on Facebook. So, why doesn’t Facebook advertise this? Not really sure but why not go on there to look for a date?
Another thing, many times I have gone a date (one date) and it didn’t work out for various reasons and the next thing I know that person shows up in the “People You May Know” section… How does that happen? STALKERS….. This does not make me happy….
Remember there are many Online Dating sites you can go on to look for a date like Plenty of Fish, Tinder, and Match.com etc. so why not go there? Truth is most of the single people on Facebook are on a dating site or two.
Then you have the friends that you did meet that it didn’t work out that are relentless in asking you out again. No matter what I tell them they just do not give up. Guys need a lot of help in this situation trust me. Yes, I am a really nice person and I like all my Facebook Friends but you have to draw the line somewhere.
Please let’s all keep this in mind before you do any of the above listed on Facebook. It’s perfectly fine to be friends, if you go to a mutual event and run into someone on your list and like that person that is perfectly OK too. By all means, pursue that if there is mutual interest. I am in no way saying you can’t meet the love of your life on Facebook because it does happen but go about it in a respectful way.
Don’t be a Facebook STALKER!

I would love to hear your comments, opinions and suggestions on this topic!
Please contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com
XOXO, Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about a real problem in the Online Dating world today and that is being on your phone when you are on a date. Some examples are the following: not putting your phone on silent, not turning it off, texting constantly, checking your Facebook and Instagram Accounts and the worst, checking your messages from your Online Dating Site. (Yes, this really happens)

This is a hot topic right now in the Dating World because everyone has a smartphone and let’s face it, we are all addicted to our phones we even take them when we go to the bathroom.

Here is one example that I speak about because it happened to me. I was dating a guy for a couple of months when he asked me to go on a mini vacation to the river. I went and to my surprise, he was on his phone texting non-stop even while he was driving home. I cannot tell you how infuriated I was. It was so rude and let’s say he didn’t score any points at all for that. Many things were running through my mind like who is he texting, does he have side girls that he lied to and said he was doing something else, is he making a date with someone else? This was not a good look and later on I told him about it and how rude it was. My mistake was not telling him on the way home. Ladies, you have every right to make noise and complain about this if it happens to you.

Consider this, you are dating someone and have a nice date planned and the candles are lit, the music is on, wine poured and the setting is just right when SHE grabs her phone and starts going through her Facebook account! What? I was told that the guy stayed with her for two hours and out of the two hours, she was on her phone one hour and forty five minutes! This woman clearly has some issues and my friend got up and left understandably. That was so rude.

Ladies and Gentlemen, if you are on a date, put your phone away. It is just a bad look. Your date will think you are waiting for another guy or girl to text you and that is a HUGE turn-off and makes a really bad impression. I was guilty of this as well when I first started dating someone recently and he pointed it out and I am so happy he did because he was 100% right. Although my reason was that I was working and answering emails. I am a workaholic and not sure when to turn it off, something I am working on now.

My question is this, why would you even ask or accept a date when you are on your phone the entire time? You may as well be at home posting on Facebook all night about how lonely you are and how single you are etc. aka poor me…..

If you are interested in a guy or girl then LISTEN to what they have to say on the date. That is why we DATE so we can see whether this is a suitable person to be around and how will you even know if you’re on your phone the entire time? You would be very lucky if the person even wants to see you again honestly.

Exceptions to the rule? Yes, if you left your kids with a sitter and want to check in, politely excuse yourself from the table and make the call. No longer than five minutes period.

Another exception would be if you have an elderly parent/parents and you want to check on them, follow the same steps above.

If your kids are adults and you are an empty nester, no excuses…..put your phone away.

If this happens to you while you are on the date, I think you definitely should call the person out immediately. Let them know that your time is as valuable as theirs and if they would like to meet another time because they are busy, then you can always get in your car and leave.
This will show them that you value yourself and respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself and you will simply not put up with it! If they respect you, they will put it away and if they get angry well then that is a HUGE RED FLAG so then you have my permission to get up and leave.

If they are that interested in texting, looking at Facebook or Instagram, they have all night after you leave, then they can sit there alone at the bar and post all night….

I would love to hear your stories on this topic, comments or questions. Contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

XOXO, Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I would like to tell you what I have discovered about Pro-Athletes and Former Pro-Athletes. I have gained a lot of information lately on this very subject that I know every woman needs to hear about.
Recently, I have received a few emails regarding a certain Former Pro Athlete. He lives in the LA/OC area and has played for various baseball teams. He is now retired.
I have discovered that this man who is currently in his 40s, is one of the biggest PLAYERS and Womanizers that I have heard about in a long time. Every woman that I have spoken to or emailed back and forth with thinks that she is the only one. These poor women are so wrong. To date, I have spoken to or emailed at least 3 women – and I am sure the list goes on. These women are too trusting and understanding of this man’s behavior and lies. One woman I spoke with believes she is his only girlfriend because he has given her a drawer for her overnight women’s things. This small gesture makes her feel like she’s the only one. NOT TRUE! I’m sure he quickly removes her things from sight as soon as she leaves.
The other women who frequent his place probably know nothing about each other because he’s gotten so good at hiding his lies. One “girlfriend” told me that she spends the night there often, however he won’t let her hang clothes in his closet. HMMMMMMM. Isn’t that interesting? If these ladies were the only ones, why wouldn’t he allow her to hang clothes up in his closet? Makes you think right? The only possible reason is that he never knows who will be coming over the next night and another “girlfriend” may get upset seeing women’s clothes in his closet. Could he even be stupid enough to give more than one girl the key to his house?
This man also frequents New York for “business”, but we know it’s never just about business. I learned about at least one other “girlfriend” who lives there. So, his NY visit are really again just about getting laid (and of course getting more attention). Guys like this are so insecure that they really just want attention from anyone. This poor NY girl probably thinks she is the one (just like the LA/OC girls think) and that he is truly invested in her… Think again.
He rarely travels with any of the girls because wherever he goes he has a different girl in every state and even in London. He told one of the girls he was going to London to get measured for a suit there…. Hmmmmmm…. Alone? Isn’t that interesting? I have not found out who the girl or girls are there yet but I am sure they will come out as these women are getting smarter.
Recently, he went to New York wearing a jacket that one of his girls gave to him while he was visiting the NY Girl… how sad is that?
Meanwhile, even more recently he flew the NY Girl out for her birthday for almost a week and she secretly filmed his house with his back was turned while he was cooking her birthday dinner (so you could see him in the background). Who does that?? I’ll tell you who does that – a girl who thinks this guy is her boyfriend… Remember this is not the women’s fault but HIS and HIS ALONE.

I have to say I have lived that life and married an X NFL Player who did the same things to me. I have survived and lived to tell about it. You see, after my X refused to give up his mistress, I left him. I had no choice and it was the last thing I wanted to do but I had to do it for my own sanity.
Sadly, after our separation, he and his mistress tried to hire someone to kill me. Luckily I found out about it and reported it to the police and homicide detectives. The whole experience was a nightmare that no one should have to live through. Sadly, due to mental instability, my X husband took his own life last year, April 15th 2016. In addition to his mental sickness, he had extreme guilt and a scarred reputation. I am still very upset and sad about all that took place. I still loved this man and was ready to forgive him. We got very close to reconciling before he took his life. We spent significant time working on rebuilding our relationship and even made peace with the past – we were ready to move forward with our second marriage. You may think I am crazy but this man was the LOVE of my life and I was devastated to say the least, as it was so unexpected.
Hence the reason I write my blogs, give advice and counseling to ladies and men like myself.
Let’s get back to Mr. X Athlete Womanizer…
I am in an awkward position because I care about these women and want to tell them that the man they’re spending time with probably does care about them, but that he just makes BAD decisions… I do not want to see them go through what I did. Pro-Athletes and former Pro-Athletes hold themselves to this great reputation and can be so EGOTISTICAL. They’re either sponsored and afraid of losing endorsements or worried about scarring their reputation, that they live double and even triple lives. And if someone manages to shake that up with threats of exposure, they will do just about anything to save face. You may think this is a crazy blog and what I am saying cannot really happen, then you my friend are truly delusional. These guys will do anything and think they are above the law (case in point OJ Simpson) they actually think they can get away with anything.
They are the most selfish, self-absorbed and self-serving people on the planet. My X who played for Dallas in the 80’s told me the protocol of what happens before and after games especially away games.
There is someone assigned to show these guys photos or even in person women who they can F*** after the games and the number of girls at one time is optional. Pretty scary huh? So, these guys get exposed to kinky, crazy sex which makes them more addicted so when they retire they do not want to give that up. It’s an addiction and even if they marry, they still cheat on their wives. Think about how many athletes cheat on their wives and are exposed but the wives hang in there because they get use to the life style. It’s a vicious cycle.
Here are my suggestions if you are dating or think you are an athletes GF below:
• Always check up on them.
o Get them use to staying in contact with you. If they go MIA, you know something is off.
o When they travel, get their itinerary (flight and hotel information). Tell them that you want to make sure they arrive safely.
• If they say they’re traveling with buddies or alone, BIG RED FLAG. Don’t buy it. These athletes need a girl every night and this only means that they are there visiting another woman or on a quest to hire an escort or two.
• Do a background check to see how many restraining orders they have against women or women have against them. They could be violent case in point Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson.
• When you get a chance, get on their computers and look at their emails and photos.
o See if there are any dick pics (that were never sent to you) or photos of other women.
• Always check their Social Media sites…IG, FB, and Twitter etc. A really smart thing to do is to create a ‘Google Alert’ with their name so if anything goes on anywhere where they are at, you can see the alert and photos etc. Remember they are celebrities and want to be noticed.
• If they are on Social Media and don’t post pictures of the two of you, this is another BIG RED FLAG. A man who cherishes you will show you off to the world!
What to do if you are one of these girls and thought you were the only one? My advice is to RUN as FAST AS YOU CAN. These guys do not change….. You will get hurt, depressed, lose self-confidence, psychologic issues, and trust issues for the rest of your lives finding it hard to trust anyone else and worst of all KILLED. And that my friend is NO JOKE.
Always remember you have your girlfriends and myself to help you through this. You can never trust an athlete retired or active so you need to do your due diligence to keep yourself safe. And remember, if he is not using protection while having sex with you, he is not using it with anyone else. Case in point (Magic Johnson) who contracted HIV.
Bottom line; protect your heart, your sanity, your life and your health. Don’t fall for these guys and their BS stories. They will tell you anything to get laid and it is sad but true.
If you know who I am speaking about, please contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

Any comments or concerns, contact me…..

One more very important thing, if you are one of these women, go immediately to your OBGYN and get tested for every VD you can be tested for… If you come up positive for anything, I will update this blog with the information for the other women. You can remain anonymous and you will only be helping the women involved or any women reading this….. Ladies, we need to stick together and I know the truth hurts but it is better to know than not to know… think about it…

My love to you all!

XOXO, Linda

Lindasdatelist.com has a new book out. This is my true story of Sexual Assault and Sexual Harrassment at work. Learn how to protect yourself and how to document, tell others, pursue charges and sue the company.

Very helpful as even in the year 2017, a man or woman needs to know this information because it happens every day.

Contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com for any questions. Available on Amazon or Kindle

Click on this link to order my book below:

Nowhere to Hide

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about a TRUE STORY about a dangerous and violent predator who is hitting on women through Facebook and is also on Plenty of Fish. This is a very, very extremely important true story that is so crazy that you should really pay attention and ask yourself if you are in this ‘situation’ right now or have been. I found a very brave lady who was willing to share her story with me in order to heal, gain her self-confidence back and most importantly, help other women. I am keeping her name out of this blog in order to protect her identity and keep her safe. I will refer to her as Sara (not her real name). I will however use his real name ‘Steve’.

This is her story.

Sara is a recovering Alcoholic and drug addict. (5 years sober). Sara was adopted. Sara dropped out of school at 16 to get married. Sara had been abused early in life that left her very vulnerable, even in her adult years. Sara is in her 50’s.

Linda’s tip – When you are in recovery, you are not supposed to be involved with an ‘Active User’. This is something that he lied about and Sara didn’t find out until after her first visit that he was an ‘Active User’.

Sara joined Facebook years ago and one day he ‘friended her’ on Facebook out of the blue. Turns out that they had went to the same High School and hung around the same crowd over 30 years ago. Sara does not remember Steve from High School but knew his family name. Steve has lots of siblings and to this day they want nothing to do with him.

Linda’s tip – When interested in someone you meet online, always ask about their family and see if they are involved with their family. In Steve’s case, none of his siblings want anything to do with him and that is a BIG RED FLAG!

After Sara accepted his Facebook request, he immediately started using Facebook Messenger to contact her and they started messaging continuously every day. Steve was very charming and funny. Soon after, they spoke over the phone for the first time for 4 hours. They began a long distance relationship. Steve told her he LOVED her in the first two weeks of speaking with her. (Another Big Red Flag) How could anyone fall in love in two weeks without even spending time together?

Steve lives in another state far away. A few weeks later he asked her to come and visit him and she accepted. She bought her ticket, booked her rental car and a hotel for 3 weeks because it turns out Steve was homeless. She paid for everything.

Linda’s tip – Never, EVER fly to another state to meet a guy that you haven’t even spoke to or know anything about even if you went to the same high school for over 30 years! A lot happens to everyone in 30 years. I would certainly call this person a complete stranger. A Big RED FLAG is that he didn’t offer to come to her and he didn’t even offer to purchase her ticket, rental car or the Hotel room! This can only indicate that this Steve doesn’t have a pot to piss in and no money or RESPECT for Sara. Also, an indication of a very selfish person. He obviously did not care how much money Sara spent. Steve is clearly a very dangerous Narcissist. Below is a definition of a Narcissist by Dr. Jeanne King PhD.

7 Narcissist Behaviors

1) No Empathy

These people truly don’t have the capacity for empathy. They do not have the ability to authentically embrace the experiential world of another person unless for selfish gain. In other words, these people can put on a good “caring” show in their effort to manipulate others for their own personal benefit. But they won’t and can’t stand in the shoes of another, genuinely.

2) No Remorse

These people don’t feel bad about any wrongdoing of theirs. Why? There is no conscience, no compassion, or concern about the impact of their behavior on others, even those they love. From the narcissistic abuser’s point of view, the other person deserves what they got because the narcissistic abuser is has no conscience.

3) Entitled

These people hold rights—in their perverted thinking—that others would never assume. They live in a world in which they have privilege to that which is beyond your imagination. Whether they are objectifying you, raping you or ruling your life, they believe that they deserve what they seek, when and where they seek it because it is already theirs—before the ask.

4) Deceptive

They will tell you whatever they believe you need to know in order to get what they are attempting to extract from you. To these people, a lie is not a lie; it’s a mechanism to leverage outcome. A misrepresentation of information is the twisting of facts designed to convert another into compliance with respect to that which they pursue.

5) Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde

These people will project a persona that is 180 degrees from who and what they really are. Whether priest, doctor or politician, they are not as they wish to have you believe. For example, they can be an attorney allegedly protecting an elderly woman from financial exploitation; all while emotionally manipulating/exploiting her, by using her as a flying monkey/agent in a mission to influence the behavior of her daughter.

6) Emotionally Dependent

These people require the emotional support and admiration of their narcissistic supply as oxygen to sustain them. They truly cannot function naturally and normally without the object of their narcissistic abuse serving as the foundation for their existence.

7) Uses Battering for Control

And when their narcissistic supply is in question, battering becomes the way to level the playing field. It is their means to shift the power and control within the relationship. It’s their way to tip the scale, so they gain the advantage they need to feel on top again.

This battering may present as verbal abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse or physical abuse. It’s the striking/maneuvering intended to diminish and dis-empower so as to nourish the deficiency in oneself.

Sara’s first trip to to meet Steve

Before Sara left to to meet Steve, he accused her of having sex with other men through text from a bar and was clearly drunk. (No Excuse). The next day he called to apologize and Sara forgave him because of her involvement in NA who teaches tolerance, patience and understanding. She later found out he was drinking every day.

Sara arrived in and picked up her rental car and was on her way to the Restaurant that they agreed to meet at. Sara had never been to this state and was lost with the directions that Steve had given to her so she called him and asked which freeway to take. Steve’s response was something like this “B****, if you cannot even figure out how to get here, get your ASS back on the plane and go home”  His response was clearly a Big Red Flag and you would think any normal person would do exactly what he said however; this is not always the case. Clearly Steve was showing his bad side in order to gain control of her when she got there. This is what Narcissists do. Steve absolutely knew that Sara was vulnerable and would find her way there and was setting the boundaries before she arrived.  Abused women will all too often fall victim to this Jekyll and Hyde behavior in order to please him because when he is pleased with her, it makes her believe all is well with her. She will see his behavior towards her as a reflection of herself and therefore, put up with this verbal abuse in order to please him and make herself feel better. When in fact the whole time she had the strength and self-respect inside her the entire time but did not know this yet.

Please note that this takes time and therapy in order to understand and an abused woman has to hit her ‘Rock Bottom’ in order to break the cycle. Again, this is a very serious issue that women and men face. I am in no way placing blame on Sara. She has come a long way to even tell her this very frightening story which is a huge step in her recovery.

Sara found her way there. When she got out of the car to greet him, her GUT INSTINCT told her to get in the car and go back to the Airport but she ignored it.

Linda’s Tip – Always listen to your GUT INSTINCT, it will NEVER steer you wrong.

Sara was not attracted to Steve in the least. He was shorter and not as good looking as the pictures he had posted on Facebook. Sara justified being there because she had fallen for his softer side and had invested so much into the long distance relationship she was willing to give it a shot. She followed Steve into the Restaurant and they ordered food and ate which she paid for.  Then they go back to the Hotel Room which was right across the street conveniently. When they got to the room, immediately he ordered her to drop her pants and he had sex with her. Notice, he only wanted her to drop her pants not get naked and be romantic. When he was finished that was it. No pleasing for Sara.

Refer to #3 below:

3) Entitled

These people hold rights—in their perverted thinking—that others would never assume. They live in a world in which they have privilege to that which is beyond your imagination. Whether they are objectifying you, raping you or ruling your life, they believe that they deserve what they seek, when and where they seek it because it is already theirs—before the ask.

Linda’s Tip – Sara unfortunately never did her research on Steve before she went to meet him. Later after many trips to visit him she googled him out of curiosity and this is what she discovered.

MUGSHOTS LINK BELOW

http://mugshots.com/search.html?q=Steven%20Renteria&c=120185

The next few days in the hotel, Steve slept a lot indicating him coming off of a drug. Sara asked him if he did drugs and he admitted to using before she got there. Sara felt sorry for him and bought him clothes, shoes and a brand new phone. Sara says the last couple of days before she left he accused her of having sex with her own son. He was drinking heavily the last few days of her trip. When Sara left, he cried and said to her ‘I didn’t think I would fall for you but I did. Then she left to return home.

When Sara got home he became obsessed and called her right away. If Sara ignored the call, he got more possessive and jealous and verbally abusive so Sara always made sure to answer his calls. Refer to #6 below:

6) Emotionally Dependent

These people require the emotional support and admiration of their narcissistic supply as oxygen to sustain them. They truly cannot function naturally and normally without the object of their narcissistic abuse serving as the foundation for their existence.

While at home Steve always insisted on seeing a pic of her vagina. He wanted to make sure she was not having sex with anyone else. (Obsessive)

Sara’s Second Trip to meet Steve

Sara went back to visit him about 4-6 weeks later and stayed for an entire month. Paid for the same hotel, flight and rental car. When she checked into the hotel, the hotel manager asked her why she came back. Even the hotel manager knew about Steve and his violent ways. During her stay there for a month she kicked him out of the hotel several times but always allowed him to come back. One of the nights that Sara kicked Steve out of the hotel she saw an overweight red headed, big bellied woman pick him up which he later admitted to having sex with her. The reason she kicked him out that day is he threw the remote control at her head and then continued to throw things at her whatever he could find.

When Sara stood up he pushed her to the ground. He then tried to hit Sara and he stopped himself and she asked him ‘Is that what you like is to see me in fear?’ Refer to # 2 below:

2) No Remorse

These people don’t feel bad about any wrongdoing of theirs. Why? There is no conscience, no compassion, or concern about the impact of their behavior on others, even those they love. From the narcissistic abuser’s point of view, the other person deserves what they got because the narcissistic abuser is has no conscience.

Steve walked away but continued his verbally abuse. He wanted Sara to leave and then he came towards Sara and Sara put her foot up to stop him from coming at her and he took a swing and hit Sara’s arm and jaw. Sara left the hotel but before leaving, she took all of his stuff and threw it outside and then Sara too off in the car for a few hours. When Sara returned to the hotel room he knocked on the door and apologized and she told him he smells like fish.(hmmmm) He then quickly went and took a shower.

They then left together it was Thanksgiving and they ended up at one of Steve’s friend’s house. It was very tense the entire time. After dinner, they left to go back to the hotel. It was snowing and even though Steve had been drinking heavily, she let him drive and they made it back safely because Sara does not know how to drive in the snow.

Linda’s Tip – Never EVER get into a car with a person that has been drinking!

While Sara was there she ended up buying a DVD player and movies and she sat and watched movies for the next couple of days she was there. Two days later, she left to go home but not before paying for one more week in the hotel for Steve to stay. Sara has two sons and she promised them she would never go back but secretly talking to him on the phone. She had told her sons several incidents but then later lied and told her sons she made it up. (Typical abused women behavior) The reason people lie about being abused is to protect the abuser.

It was nearing Christmas and Steve had moved in with a couple lesbians (so he claimed but was not true). Sara sent him a lot of Christmas presents for Christmas. He would never talk to Sara in front of the ladies. Sara found out later he was having sex with one of the roommates. Somehow Sara and this other women started talking and that’s how she found out about them.

Linda’s Tip – Do not send presents to abusers!

Sara’s Third Trip to Steve

Before Sara got on the plane she saw on Facebook from a female that he had been cheating on her several times throughout their relationship. This female said she met him on Plenty of Fish. Sara had no idea he was on a dating site.

His Plenty of Fish profile as of 12/3/2016 http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=133134016

Linda’s Tip – If you meet a guy or girl, ask them up front if they are on any dating sites. If they say yes and the relationship gets serious, the person on the dating site should remove themselves. Always check.

Sara decided to go and visit Steve again in January 2016 for another month. Same deal, paid for the hotel, flight and rental car. At that time he had found a job and bought her a scarf. During this visit the other woman would send Sara text messages from Steve. Sara and this female shared text messages and he was seeing them both at the same time.

One day he said to Sara ‘I want to go and have a nice dinner with you and my son’ which Sara paid for. In the car Steve was causing a scene in front of his own son and also verbally abused his own son. Sara remembers looking in the back seat at his son and his son was TERRIFIED of his own father. When they arrived at the restaurant, Steve called Sara a ‘Stupid B****’ inside the restaurant because she didn’t have snow boots on. Then his son said something jokingly to his dad trying to lighten things up and his dad made a scene in the restaurant. Everyone started staring at them. Steve started dragging his son outside by the wrists and telling him ' You want me to take you outside and show you hoe NOT to talk to me?  Then he came back in and then asked the waitress to take a picture of the three of them and Sara and his son were too scared to say no, so they faked a smile. Then after dinner they dropped his son off and went back to the hotel.

Linda'sTip - It is NOT OK to abuse anyone, child or adult!

The next day they picked his son up and went to Walmart. He told his son in front of Sara that he needed to save money to buy Sara a ring. Sara was embarrassed because she knew she would never wear a ring from Walmart but never said anything.  (More manipulation) Refer to # 4 below:

4) Deceptive

They will tell you whatever they believe you need to know in order to get what they are attempting to extract from you. To these people, a lie is not a lie; it’s a mechanism to leverage outcome. A misrepresentation of information is the twisting of facts designed to convert another into compliance with respect to that which they pursue.

The next day Sara left to go home in the snow. Steve posted on Facebook to please pray for my girlfriend because it was snowing and she was on her way home. Refer to above #4.

Sara’s Fourth Trip to Meet Steve

Sara returned a couple weeks later. The two ladies he was living with who were supposedly lesbians wanted to meet Sara so they came to the hotel. When the girls arrived, all four of them went to the bar to have fun. One of the ladies told Sara ‘I am not dealing with him if he gets drunk and confessed to Sara about Steve’s use of drugs and alcohol. Sara then asked the girls if they were lesbians and the denied it. The one girl told Sara she met him on Plenty of Fish. She said that he often acted crazy and abused her and she put him in jail after the abuse. She also said he threatened to kill her if he went to jail which he did. Refer to the mugshot link above.

Despite all of that from the girls, Sara decided to rent a house with Steve and they found one and she put a down payment on the house. She left to go home and packed her apartment up to move.

He went to jail shortly after she put the money down for the house for 32 days for violation of his probation. He is a repeat offender of domestic violence. After he got out of jail, he told Sara he would begin to go sober.

Sara’s fifth and LAST trip to Meet Steve

Sara assumed he was having sex with the girl across the street from the house he was staying in. Sara only stayed for nine days this time. Her 5^th day of her nine day trip he was still abusing her. He came home from work and asked me where Sara was. Sara was at the house the whole time. He called her the ‘C’ word, pushed her, slammed her against the door then goes upstairs and tells her to leave. Sara went upstairs to reason with him and he started throwing things at her. As she was trying to duck he called her a dumb B**** and then quickly apologized and hugged Sara. Then he told her to leave. Refer to # 7 below:

7) Uses Battering for Control

And when their narcissistic supply is in question, battering becomes the way to level the playing field. It is their means to shift the power and control within the relationship. It’s their way to tip the scale, so they gain the advantage they need to feel on top again. This battering may present as verbal abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse or physical abuse. It’s the striking/maneuvering intended to diminish and dis-empower so as to nourish the deficiency in oneself.

Sara started to pack up her things and while she was packing he stood above her and clocked her on the side of her face and kicked her on her arm. Sara screamed and he got angrier. He told Sara to ‘Call the Cops’ but Sara was too frightened. He kept saying he was sorry. He hurt her real bad this time. Sara then was leaving and trying to say goodbye and he told her to stop staring at him and went upstairs. Sara was distraught, she had just been beaten and now he was ignoring her. Sara decided again to go upstairs and he was already on the phone with another woman. He always cried when she left but not this time. He followed her downstairs and told her he loved her and kissed her goodbye. Sara cried a lot and felt emotionally lost as to what to do. She came to her senses and decided she needed to get on the plane and get into a safe location.

When Sara went home after nine days, she called the owner of the home and cancelled. The owner told her I knew there was something up with that guy as soon as I saw him and told Sara she made the right decision. Then when she got off of the plane, her son picked her up from the Airport. She was able to hide her trauma that she had just been through. Her son then gave her an ultimatum and said to her ‘if you ever go back, I will never talk to you again’.

I am happy to announce that Sara has not been back and is working hard to get better emotionally.

I encouraged her to go to women’s shelters and tell her story. That is what will heal her. It’s a very powerful story.

I too was physically beat up by my son’s dad and I too was afraid to call the police. I stayed only a couple more months then I left and never went back. This is not uncommon. Don’t judge women or men who have made some horrible decisions because you have not been there and walked in their shoes.

I want to thank Sara for her bravery and trust in sharing her story with me in order to help other victims. My heart goes out to you and I know you are a beautiful and strong woman and you will heal from this trauma just like I did. It’s a learning experience and something you had to go through in order to gain strength and wisdom to help other people.

Linda's FINAL Tip - The abusers DO NOT CHANGE. They promise to change but NEVER do. They are not capable of it. They just keep looking for their next victim.

2 Corinthians 1:4 (CEB)God’s the one who comforts us in all our trouble so that we can comfort other people who are in every kind of trouble. We offer the same comfort that we ourselves received from God.

Don't forget to subscribe to my blogs for FREE so you can get the latest info from Linda - Subscribe on Login/Register Tab above

Please contact me with any questions or concerns at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

Also, please check out my book about my true story of Sexual Assault and Sexual Harassment.

https://www.amazon.com/Nowhere-Hide-Harassment-Assault-2015-01-19/dp/B01FIZMOQY

Another great book about domestic violence survivors:

https://www.amazon.com/You-Can-Be-Free-Easy-To-Read/dp/1878067060/ref=cm_lmf_img_2

XOXO,

Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here on this beautiful 'Sunny' day. Today I would like to warn the ladies out there about a "Wicked Soul" named Steve who also goes by the aliases, 'Steven, Steve, Sunny or Brady. 

A follower wrote to me to tell me about her experience. By the way, 'Sunny' has already been reported on my website on the home page by someone else. Look up ANewLife817 on the home page

This is her story:

Recently, he friend requested me on Facebook. I accepted cautiously because I already knew him from POF however; I never met with him because my gut feeling told me something wasn't right. That was about 3 years ago. (Linda's Tip) Always trust your gut instinct no matter what, it is never wrong. 

Back to her story- I didn't reply for over a week but then decided ok, I can always block him if he's a creeper. 
So then he starts messaging me from messenger daily asking me about what have I been up to lately. I told him about my newest pit bull and he replies awesome, I might be taking a 130 pound blue nose Pitt from a buddy. (Exact same breed as mine). So then, he asked if I had his cell number and I replied no, it's been awhile so I sent him mine. Now, the reason he wanted me to call him was because he has a girlfriend. This guy thinks he is good and knows how to play the game but thanks to Lindasdatelist.com, I have learned a lot and used her tools to do my homework. 

What was very suspicious was he's in a motorcycle club "Wicked Souls" and I asked him how long his club has been around and he said 2010. He asked me if I had spent time around club life before which of course I haven't.... he says it's fun because we got great family oriented hard working honest guys, just great human beings. Then I told him "reminds me of Sons of Anarchy" which aired in 2008. Hmmmm .... Wicked Souls is the name of his club started in 2010 which he is the President.  Then he sends me the link https://flipagram.com/f/vbH8lttTXK

If it won't open the first time, click the replay button he says. So, I decided to check it out and it was Exactly like Sons of Anarchy! 
Then I decided to follow Linda's advice and google his name + Wicked Souls and low and behold it brought me to on Google 'Bad Boy Report'. In there was very disturbing information about him. On this bad boy site, there was a post by baby doll. It was her account of what he did to her. He replied to her post and said it was his X girlfriend.  In his reply back he used her first and last name and where she works. This is what she said about him. You can look this up yourself as this is too long to write out.

1.  Cheated on his X wife 24 times
2.  He Kept a list vividly describing all of his sexual acts 
3.  Sunny was enraged baby doll found the actual list, that's why he defended himself after #4. 
4.  He cheated on baby doll weaving the most incredible stories while being emotionally, verbally and physically abusive if she got suspicious and questioned him. 

After reading all about him, I decided to write to Lindasdatelist.com so she could warn other people.  This guy lives in Vandenberg Village CA. 

Lessons learned:

1.  Always Google your Online date. If you see anything suspicious like the above, do not go out with that person.
2.  Always trust your gut instinct.
3.  What you see, hear and read is what you'll get. People rarely change. 
4.  Check them out on Facebook to see what their single status is. One big red flag was this guy and the person who wrote in about him to me were FB friends  and on his profile, you are not allowed to post anything on his page which means he's hiding something. 
5.  On his "About" he states he is in a relationship! Big RED FLAG! 

http://badboyreport.kr/

Read all about this at http://badboyreport.kr/2010/05/stephen-brady/

Any comments or questions, contact me at Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

Thank you baby doll for your voice on badboysreport for helping others! A true hero to other women! 

Xoxo,
Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I would like to finally disclose the story of why I created this web site.
I met my X-husband on Match.com in 2002. I picked him out right away. He looked like my perfect match so I cannot remember if he contacted me or I contacted him first but it really doesn't matter.

We met for the first time and I was definitely smitten. He was very handsome and funny and intelligent. Although, I thought he was too skinny but a lot of bachelors are. He liked me too and he planned a second date a drink and a movie. We had a lot of fun.Then he planned a third date and asked me to be exclusive and I agreed. I'd like to admit that it really was love at first sight. He was an X NFL Football player and I was a huge Football fan myself.

As things progressed, we spent a great deal of time together. Then my job required that I start traveling every week so our time was cut so I would only see him on the weekends. What I found out later, he had his regular nasty girls coming by during the week when I was not there. I picked up on the signs and then I read some emails and it all made sense.

All of his girls were much older and fat. I didn't get it? I was the perfect girl, so pretty and sweet and worst of all very forgiving.. my biggest mistake was taking him back every time after he begged me to and that he would no do it anymore....So, not only did he lie, he never told me the truth about the other girls. Then at least I could have a choice in whether I wanted to keep seeing him under Ron's Rules.... but he continued to lie and see other women.

We dated for five years and then he bought me a beautiful engagement ring and we were married a few months later. I was so happy I could not even believe it, I thought OK, he has the cheating out of his system which was not the case. He kept one nasty older woman ugly older woman around Sheryl Smalley from Beverly Hills... You can look her up on Facebbok... She's the one with long fake black hair that covers her face because she is so ugly and bi-sexual. She dresses like a teenager who is 62 years old.

Finally I had enough and I asked him for a divorce in 2011. He agreed but swears he never wanted it and was waiting for me to change my mind.

The day he moved out, I logged into our Online Banking Accounts and saw that he embezzled over 95,000 into his personal business account that I was supposed to be on and after going to the bank that day they told me I was not on it... another lie he told me.

I confronted him that day about it and he said it was none of my business and that there was nothing I could do about it.. I was devastated, after all that was my personal money he stole from me. I had no idea how I was going to get that back so I got a lawyer right away and we started the divorce process. I moved out the next day and wrote a check for my deposit and that bounced because he also drained the account. I had to borrow money from my Mom until my tax return came in. embarrassing,

He basically left me penniless and he wouldn't even pay his alimony.... I had been out of work for 5 years so it was not easy to find a job right away but I did.

Then one day he calls me from our doctor on his way home and tells me he tried to kill himself the night before by slitting his forearms... I didn't believe him so he asked to meet me at Starbucks so I did and sure enough he did... He cut so deep into his arms but he didn't tell the doctor... So, I was so worried about him I started going to his place every day to help care for his horrendous wounds.. Then one day after he left for work, I was on his computer and found the suicide note. It was to his brother telling him to keep everything, it didn't sink in. But I found out later he gave his brother 80,000 to keep for him to ruin my life.

Then later I found an email to his mistress Sheryl Smalley asking her to have Bobby her X boyfriend to take me and my daughter out and he didn't care if he had to pay for it but it would be worth it. I showed my attorney right away and he told me to call the police right away and so I got a call from Long Beach Homicide Detectives. That's how serious they thought this was and it was. They brought me in for questioning and then told me they were doing a entire investigation and I was not to tell anyone until it's over. That was so hard, I couldn't sleep for a very long time and even put a chair in front of my front door.
You see the reason he wanted this was he didn't want me to get my money back and Sheryl wanted it to get me out her way (she thought). She told Bobby the supposed hit man Ron will never leave Linda and so this is the only way to get rid of her.

After the investigation it went to the DA's office and they said not enough evidence so I moved again shortly after that.

I was still in fear for my life and felt betrayed so I started this web site to try to help other people by telling my story. In fact, I told many stories about finding him cheating and all the drama.

The last 4 months of his life we started talking on the phone... Every time we would talk he would cry and I would cry... We both agreed we should have never divorced and met a couple times in person. The first time I met him he was so skinny again. First thing I told him was he was too skinny and he needs to take better care of himself and the most amazing thing happened too when I saw him. Immediately, I forgave him and all of the anger and bitterness went away... We met at a bar and we were both crying... You see, I think the guilt finally got to him of what he tried to do and when I told him I forgave him he couldn't believe it. He told me he still loved me and always did. I told him the same thing, it was a nice reunion.
The next day he came over to my place and we talked some more and again he told me he loved me. I didn't want him to leave.

Then we kept in touch over the phone and sometimes when I talked to him he didn't sound good at all. Our doctor said he had CTE the Brain Injury from too many concussions. Some days he sounded normal and some days he didn't. I seriously thought about packing a bag and moving in with him to help care for him, I was so worried but I didn't because I knew my family would go crazy so I didn't. In hindsight I wish I would have... I feel so guilty for not doing that and worrying more about what my family would think... Advice, never worry about what other people think, go with your gut...

So, we were still talking on the phone and crying and laughing about all of our good times and things we could do better. We were on the verge of reconciling...

Then on Monday April 18, 2016 I was at work and got a call from his brother telling me that Ron hung himself... I screamed and could not believe what I heard... I was inconsolable... I left work right away and called my brother who tried to calm me down. Then I called my daughter who called my Mom who was there when I got home... I also called my dear friend Jacquie who had lost her son the same way. She was there for me and I will never forget that. I somehow made it up to my condo and when I walked in my mom was there. I cried and cried for hours....That pain I will never forget EVER. It's a different pain then losing a parent or friend. This was the love of my life.... I still have that pain in my gut and my heart today.

I had to take time off work to get therapy.

A week after he passed, I got a call from Bobby who wanted to know what was going on between Ron, Sheryl and myself... I was scared to death that he was calling me until I realized he had no idea that Ron hung himself.. HE was just mad at Sheryl for treating him so badly after sending her money for flowers for a funeral... Well, guess who's funeral that was for?
He told me he told Ron and Sheryl the week before he was going to the police with all of the evidence. You see, he was a private investigator for 31 years and when they asked him to do this he said no way. He didn't want to get involved but secretly recording every conversation with Ron and Sheryl and kept all of the emails and texts. He didn't turn them in earlier during the investigation because he and Sheryl had been boyfriend and girlfriend for several years and she cried to him not to turn her in so he didn't.

But now the week before he threatened both of them he was turning the evidence. You see, I thought he was a bad guy all these years and turns out he saved my life. Bobby and I started talking daily so he gave me all the scary details of the whole thing. The timing of Ron's death was impeccable because Bobby left 2 voicemail's to Ron and a couple days later, he hung himself. You see there was no way he wanted anyone to find out what he did and he surely wasn't going to jail.

Now the DA's office has all the evidence so after all the court proceedings and stuff she is finally going to prison for conspiracy to commit murder and that carries a life sentence. I cannot wait. She needs to pay for what she did.
Ron paid with his life and honestly, I would do anything to have him back and I know that's impossible, but I only hope God showed him mercy in his last moments of life...

Meanwhile, Ron's family invited her to Washington to the burial of Ron and that just kills me. They only know what Ron told them and they believed him. They have no idea about all of this and I do not want to cause them any stress as they are still mourning like myself.

So, that's what happened and I writing a new book from start from finish... What I wrote in this blog does not include everything that needs to be told..

Ron Jenkins RIP.. I'll always love you and forgive you... and I still miss you and think about you every day, the love of my life...

Contact me at Linda@LindasDatelist.com

XOXO, Linda

Hello Ladies, Some great advice and encouragement from Tomi Lahren

https://www.facebook.com/TomiLahren/videos/1042834599143060/

Contact me @Linda@Lindasdatelist.com

xoxo, Linda