“Not So Top Gun”


I had to work that day it was a Saturday. I went out the night before to look for the perfect dress and nightie I was so excited I could hardly concentrate. My BFF is helping me with the details. So far all he has said is meet me at 8 in the Hotel Room and he sends me the link to the Hotel the night before. It was the same Hotel he took me to to ask me to be exclusive. I suppose he thought it was romantic frankly it was a very seedy Hotel might as well have been a Motel 6.
My BFF sends me with a care package of wine and glasses in a cute picnic basket. She was always so creative I really was so fortunate to have he as my BFF.
I got off work and rushed home to shower and get ready for my big night. I drove to the Hotel with my care package and checked in at the lobby with his Driver’s License that he through in my car a couple nights earlier. They give me the key and direct me where to go. I get to the room and it was on the bottom floor facing the street. NOT GOOD you see I traveled every week for work and I was used to being in really nice Hotels. This was totally unacceptable so I went to the lobby and demanded another room. They gave me a new room on the 8th floor that was better but still not very nice. I mean, he could have spent some money and got a suite at least but as I find out much later he was a real cheap A$$. I called him to let him know the new room number. Thinking about it now he probably stopped by the lobby to check and make sure he didn’t get charged anything extra for the new room.
I got dressed in my nightie and opened the wine I was nervous and needed the wine for courage meanwhile constantly on the phone with my BFF giving her the details.
He knocked at the door at 8. I answered the door we drank and had a wonderful time. I was in la la land for sure. In the morning we awoke and he didn’t even offer to buy breakfast he jumped in the shower and he was we were out the door. He walked me to my car and we said goodbye for now.
I was in love (or so I thought)
Lessons learned
1. Make sure the Hotel is suitable to your taste. It is a reflection of what’s to come if he skimps on the Hotel room and breakfast.
2. Listen to your BFF.
3. Get to know the guy really well before you commit to a sexual relationship.
4. If you drop a dead moose on the guy’s doorstep he won’t want it because the thrill of the chase is over.
5. Looks are deceiving.

Not Joe-Exciting


I met him on POF. Chatted online a few times back and forth. He asked for a meeting and I agreed. He actually suggested we go to a place he is familiar with which is about 25 miles from my house that I am not familiar with? What ever happened to chivalry? Shouldn’t the guy come to me is what I thought so my inner gut feeling came out and I suggested a nice place 5 minutes from my house with an ocean view of the Marina. He then replied back with a “let’s keep it casual”… So, I replied back it is super casual you will like it and then he agreed although I believe it was reluctant I mean of course he is going to want to go somewhere close to his house where he is comfortable… duh! Honestly I believe now looking back that the place I picked was too fancy and he thought it would cost a fortune for a cocktail. I even ate dinner before I left so I was not even expecting appetizers… I just had a feeling about him and it wasn’t good.
Honestly, this guy really didn’t excite me so if he had refused to come to me I simply would have just passed on the whole thing. My gut instinct was telling me to cancel all day but I didn’t want to be rude and I knew he was looking forward to it so I went ahead and got ready.
He text me 5 minutes before I was supposed to be there said he went into the place and it was too crowded no seats which I find that hard to believe the bar is huge and so what if you have to stand for a few minutes until a seat becomes available. This puts pressure on me because now I have to think of a plan B. I asked him to meet me in front of the bar and he did and he greeted me with a handshake which is so NOT THE NORM these days everyone hugs right?
He actually looked exactly like his photos but he gave me a weak handshake which is not a good sign. So, here I am wanting to go into the place I picked but he obviously didn’t want to so I decided right then and there that there really was not a spark of interest on my part so I suggested Claim Jumper a family restaurant across the street from where we were. He agreed and I proceeded to tell him he is more than welcome to follow me in his car and he insisted he could find it. I drove to the place and waited out front about 15 minutes which it took me about 3 minutes to drive, park and walk to the front so I KNOW he got lost… so finally he comes walking up and it was busy too but that’s Claim Jumper and it was Friday night so I assured him there would be seats in the bar and of course there was so we sat down.
I knew I would need a strong drink to sit there with mister exciting so I ordered a Long Island Iced Tea and he had to say a remark about it and how strong it was. Now, why does he have to say anything at all? I mean he ordered a Corona and I never said a word about it. It is just irritating I am an adult and over 21 and can drink what I want and I don’t need any flack about it from anyone.
We made small talk and he acted cool as a cucumber I mean I believe if the restaurant caught fire while we were there it still wouldn’t get a rise out of him. I can only imagine being married to a guy like that my life would be so boring. (Been there done that not going through that again) I need a guy that actually breathes and challenges me not just sits there with no expression at all. After he finished his beer (even before I finished my drink) he says Ok thanks for coming out and it was nice to meet you. HUH? It was a whole 30 minutes and I hadn’t even finished my drink yet…. Whatever I got up from my seat so fast I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I kind of think he was a cheap ass and just didn’t want to pay for another drink.
He walked me to my car and I leaned in and gave him a hug goodbye out of the kindness of my heart. We said goodbye and that was that.
Lesson learned
1. Always meet close to your own house where YOU are comfortable because it is the right thing to do for the man to come to you.
2. Go with your “gut” feeling and listen to it if it is telling you that something isn’t right then something isn’t right save your precious time spending an hour to get ready when your instinct is telling you not to go.
3. Worst case if things don’t go well, always have a place to go after your date because after all at this point you are all dressed up with nowhere to go so may as well meet with friends then you won’t feel like you wasted your night.
Another date tonight with a cowboy now I believe that is going to be a lot more exciting but we’ll see. To be continued…..

 Did he really just do that?”


After date 3 he calls the next day. Mind you, every time he wants to get together I have to work all day and at the time I was working early shifts 5am-2pm. I would go home, take a nap, tend to the teenagers and then take a shower and get ready hair and makeup to go out. It’s a process that I am not sure men really understand how long it takes to get ready for a date. It’s a pain in the A$$ really it is. It takes a lot of time and energy for us ladies!
Anyway, he wants to get together again the next evening and meet at the Hotel again by his house and he wants to know if I am free on Saturday night and if he can have me the entire evening…. Well, I don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out exactly what he wants. So, I say “Yes” of course I wanted to be with this guy as much as possible so I was very excited.
I agreed to see him the next evening I believe it was a Thursday and I drove to the Hotel by his house again and met him there. I know what you’re thinking by this time why haven’t I been invited to his apartment?? I was thinking the same thing and my BFF was questioning my decisions and I was listening to her but was going to do what I wanted anyway. BIG MISTAKE!
We had a drink and then he tells me he made reservations at a Hotel for Saturday night for our all night date but he wouldn’t tell me where it was a surprise… I have to tell you this guy was so charming and handsome he had me right where he wanted me I was so stupid and naïve. I never even questioned what he was doing on the nights I didn’t see him I mean why even ask? After all, he said we were dating exclusively and so that was that I took him for his word.
So, he walks me to my car and we drive down the same street on our way home. He motions to me to unroll my window and so I do and he throws his driver’s license into my car! What the??? I can’t believe he just did that he must REALLY trust me I thought.
Meanwhile my BFF was at home and by the way was a happily married woman who I worked with and she always had my back… My BFF was doing some checking on Match.com and even though I had hidden my profile because I was dating exclusively he was still on there? And active within 24 hours it said… Interesting I thought I have to find out about this but not until after my weekend date.
Lesson learned:
1. If you are too tired and worn out to go on a date don’t do it. Go out when it is convenient for you. Actually the guy will respect you more because he sees you value yourself and you will become more of a challenge to him.
2. If you drop a dead deer on the guy’s doorstep he won’t want it because it takes all the fun out of the hunt.
3. Really get to know someone a lot better before you decide to get intimate. Emotions take over and you lose all sense of common sense.
4. Listen to your BFF!
5. If a guy says you are exclusive and he is still showing active on a dating site, something is wrong... Really wrong…
6. If it doesn’t make sense it’s because it’s not right or it’s not true.

 “Date 3”


After our second date he called me again the very next day. He wanted another date and this time he was going to drive to me so I said OK. Honestly, if he would have wanted me to drive to him I would have… So, his idea is to meet at the Holiday Inn at the bar for a drink. It was about 1 mile from my home which was nice so I agreed.
We met the next evening I think it was a Tuesday… I dressed up and met him in the front of the hotel. We went inside to the bar and ordered our drinks. We talked and he told me how much he likes me and is attracted to me and then he says “I want to start dating you”…And the first words out of my mouth were “Exclusively?” and he replied “Yes”.
I was so excited I wanted to pee my pants! Of course I said “Yes”…
We finished our drinks and he walked me to my car and we said goodnight.
Lesson learned:
1. Get to know a guy a lot longer before you commit to exclusive

Erik-Consiable Distances


Long distance love? IS there such a thing and can it work? I met a guy on Match.com. He emailed me first and he lived about 150 miles away. He shared a lot of the same values that I did. We talked on the phone and I thought we really had a connection.
His 3 kids lived close to me and he came down every other weekend to visit them he said. I thought GREAT I think this could work knowing that my schedule was very flexible and I could drive to him on his off weekends… As a woman we always think and plan these things out… It in our DNA we can’t help it!
We spoke on the phone every morning and evening and as the time went by he came to visit his kids several times but he NEVER made time to meet me in person. Mind you this guy was GORGEOUS according to his photos. He even took his profile down (or so I thought) later to find out he conveniently put it off and on the entire time we were involved long distance…
I thought it was unusual he wouldn’t take time to meet me so I started being unavailable (According to my favorite book “Why Men Love Bitches” this is supposed to work and it did) and sure enough all of a sudden he wanted to meet me in person. He only had to drive an hour from his house as I was going to meet him half way. He set up the date and we even spoke the day of the meeting in the morning.
I got all gusssied up and he texted me about an HOUR before I was set to leave to meet him and said “we could not meet and he was sorry but we live too far apart”?? HUH?? You come down to see your kids all the frickin time and this is your excuse we live too far away????? After all the talking and sharing photos on the phone for over two months? UGH! I believe I just answered him “UNBELIEVEABLE” and left it at that. My heart was broken for about two months after that… What a waste of time…..
Moral of the story… If the person does not want to meet in person within the first week of talking on the phone RUN before you get too involved and your heart gets broken… And for the ladies read the book “Why Men Love Bitches” it will make you feel empowered and a whole lot better…

Dear John


Dear John,
Thank you for contacting me on POF. I thought you were extremely handsome and very quick witted which I appreciated so much that I drove to your work for our first meet and greet. You told me you were the Manager so I thought that was an acceptable position to have at such a swanky night spot.
When I got there you greeted me outside but only one thing, I am 5’6 and with my 4 inch heels that made me a clear 5’10. You said in your bio that you were 5’11. (Ladies, when a guy says he is under 6 foot it usually means they are not being truthful about their height). I have only met one guy who was actually 5’11. Dear John when you hugged me you were shorter than me….. What’s up with that???
Anyway, that didn’t throw me off (well maybe a little) I should know better my taste is for taller men anyway so my bad…
Dear John you took me to the bar and found me a place to sit. Not sure what it was with you or me but I tried to make a good impression besides I thought you were extremely good looking and very personable but ZERO. No sparks on either side… By the way the REAL manager came by several times… LOL
I stayed an hour plenty of time for you to ask me out again or even ask me for a drink after your shift but nothing so, after an hour I told you I was leaving and you walked me to my car and paid for my valet which was extremely nice. On my way home I sent you a text thanking you for being a gentleman and you politely said I was welcome. It is now the next day and I have not heard anything from you so I guess it wasn’t a love match… Time to go fishing….
Lesson learned? It’s not always going to be a match even if you think it might be. Don’t go out of your way too much but always be ready to take a chance because you never know….

“Jumping Jack Flash”


It was a POF online dating site that I met this person on. Real cute and very persistent so I decided to give him a chance. We decided to meet at a restaurant/bar within walking distance from my place. I got there first, ordered a drink, paid for it and waited patiently. The meeting time had passed by a few minutes and I was starting to think maybe I didn’t know Jack and I should just leave so I walked out front of the restaurant bar and noticed him walking up. I was happy with his appearance as he looked exactly like his photos.
When our eyes met he looked pleased to see me as well and we shook hands and walked back into the bar and sat down. I immediately smelled nicotine on his breath and I remembered his profile specifically said he was a non-smoker. Maybe I really didn’t know Jack after all? I decided to be polite and the bartender came over and he ordered a drink. Then I ordered another one as well.
We talked and seemed to get along well and then I needed to use the restroom so off I went when I returned he says to me all of a sudden out of nowhere he says to me “Let’s get out of here and go down the street” so I decided OK I will go to another bar with him and see how it goes.. Again, I didn’t know Jack! We got off of our bar stools and proceeded to walk out the door and down the street. About a minute later here comes the bartender running out after us saying “Sir, Sir you didn’t pay the bill”! At this point I am totally embarrassed and he pulls out his wallet I noticed no credit cards and a $20 dollar bill. I have no idea how much the tab was but he reluctantly handed her the $20 dollar bill and turned around and started walking. Mind you I noticed that was all the money he had… I was totally embarrassed and thought to myself “what a Jack ass”….
We proceeded to the next bar, had a drink from his friend the bartender which we didn’t get charged and I told him I had to go. I walked home from there not even believing what I had just went through….
Moral of the story, when they lie about smoking or any other significant lifestyle and don’t have enough money to pay for a date DUMP him and MOVE ON….. There are plenty of fish on POF….Hit the Road jack!

He called the next day after our first date. He asked if I wanted to go see a movie. Of course I was EXCITED! He suggested we meet at the Hotel by his apartment and have a cocktail and then go from there. I agreed. Ladies…. I should have realized then and there this guy is ALL ABOUT HIMSELF. He won’t go out of his way to come to me and wants me to again come to him. At the time my BFF made a comment about it and of course I didn’t listen because I was on GET THIS GUY MODE so I was going to do whatever it took, whatever he wanted… stupid girl… stupid girl…

So, I did it! I drove to the hotel by his apartment. We met in the bar and had a cocktail and then he suggested we drive in his Jeep to the movie theater. I remember getting into his Jeep, he opened the door and acted like a complete gentleman. I looked over at him and thought to myself “this guy is too skinny he needs a woman’s touch”.  UGH, why do we (women) feel the need to want to change the guy? (What you see if what you get is what I have learned through all of this.) He was extremely handsome though and super funny I mean he really made me laugh I was in heaven… again, stupid girl, stupid girl…

We watched the James Bond movie and he never offered to buy a soda or popcorn or anything I thought that was a little weird but I let it go because I certainly wasn’t going to ask I was just way too nice.

After the movie we drove back to the hotel and we both got out of the Jeep. He then went in for the kiss and it was passionate! In fact he had to pull himself away because he was getting too excited. I loved it he made me feel special I mean I was so attracted to this guy it was disgusting!

He walked me to my car and we kissed goodbye.

I was totally smitten.

Lesson learned:

1. It’s just a MOVIE…
2. It’s just a second date not a proposal.
3. Listen to your BFF!
4. What you see is what you get.
5. Looks can be deceiving!

It was my first time ever on a dating site Match.com to be precise. I was browsing through the choices of men with my BFF and I saw HIM... WOW... When I saw HIM I KNEW it was "THE GUY".... I loved the way he looked,  I loved all his pictures and I loved his bio... I was extremely attracted from the get go... I was also extremely shy I mean I was 35 and married and divorced a couple times and a single mother of 2 working and raising my kids. My BFF said I will email him for you I was like "YEAH" that will work she was so witty and smart I knew we could reel him in the two of us.. Men, this is how ladies think we think way ahead of the game and I could (as crazy as it sounds) see myself with this guy for the rest of my life... They say you meet that one person in your life that you are just totally attracted to and I think (well I didn't think that's the problem as you will see as we dive further into "Ronnyville") that this was the guy for me after all we look so great together in my mind...