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Linda

Linda

Hello I am a blogger and and an author. I speak from my experiences only as I am not a doctor. I do consider myself an expert when it comes to relationship advice only because of what I have been through in my life experiences with Men and Dating and Marriages.
I hope you enjoy my blogs and more than that I hope they can help you or someone else!
xoxo, Linda

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Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about love and relationships. Let's face it, it's pure attraction that leads you to someone in the first place. Then if you start dating and form a relationship, that is when you learn about someone. Sure, there can be attraction and love but to be a life partner with someone you have to be on the same level I believe. I married a man with no job. That was seriously hard because I loved him but I was too young to realize that he was basically a loser who became a drug addict and still is it this day.
I should have never married him he was so opposite if me. I was a working mother of 2 young kids and supporting the household which was not fair. Eventually I figured that out and divorced him but that was a bad decision.
It's tempting when you meet someone that you fall in love with but really does not have their life in order. You can either wait it out or get out and find someone else that's on the same level as yourself.
I choose to walk away.

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

 

 


Xoxo, Linda

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Must be a Drama Free with no Baggage? Give me a break!

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about people who put "Must Be Drama Free" on their profiles. Give me a break people, who doesn't have just a little drama in their lives? Whether it be a kid, or family member or an ex... You're not normal unless you have a little drama and let's face it, everyone has baggage so people need to get over that too!
You haven't evolved as a person if you haven't dealt with real life. Give me a break I survived a ex husband who stole my money and tried to get someone to kill me! The whole police thing and investigation and lawyer fees etc.. I've become a much smarter person because of it. Bad things happen in life and everything happens for a reason... Get over it people no one is perfect...

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

 


Xoxo, Linda

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Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about dating preference's on Online Dating sites. Let's talk about "Casual Dating No Commitment". I think this is just BS. Honestly, I believe everyone is looking for love I don't care who you are or what you put on your profile were all looking for the same thing.
I stay away from guys that have that on their profile because what they are looking for is sex before love and it should be the other way around. Us ladies just give sex away too fast and then we get hurt. It's our own fault. Then if you're lucky enough to stay in the relationship then someone gets hurt because your emotions on both sides take over. Eventually, if you don't commit after being involved, then you just keep hurting each other.
There should always be love before sex and ladies, make the guy earn your love, don't just give it away because life is too short for regrets.. You'll love yourself more if you wait. I speak from experience...

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

 


Xoxo, Linda

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Politics And Online Dating

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about Politics and Online Dating. I think this is a very important point to make. Not sure about most people buy I myself think it is a deal breaker to date someone who is the opposite political party than myself. First off, you won't even think the same as the other person. I tried to date someone of the opposite political party and found we didn't have hardly anything in common at all in fact we argued most of the time we were together.
Please note that I have a lot of friends that are the opposite political party but it's not the same as dating someone or even thinking about spending the rest of my life with someone who thinks opposite of myself.
These days politics play an important role in all our lives whether you want to believe it or not so it's important to be with someone of the same party. Just sayin..

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

 


Xoxo, Linda

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Is this guy for real? Not single?

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about a guy on PlentyofFish.com. He sent me a message saying he would really like to meet me but he is not single. He's just looking for a little excitement he says and then asks me if I'm ok with that????..seriously dude? Even if you were Brad Pitt and married ( which he just got married by the way) I still wouldn't go there. That's the problem in this world today no one takes marriage or committed relationships serious anymore. At least that's my experience on the Online Dating sites.
I will meet someone and then we start dating and he's still "Online now"all the time! This has happened to me more than once. I just don't get how anyone has time to date more than one person at a time?
Please help me understand I mean I get it if you are just dating and trying to find the right person but if you start dating and become intimate then from a woman's point of view that kind of seals the deal and I don't think either one of you should still be on the site.
This is Exactly why you shouldn't be intimate with someone until you are in a committed relationship. Feelings get hurt and hearts get broken.

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

 



Xoxo, Linda

Posted by on in Blog
Don’t Lose Yourself inThe Relationship




Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about my life before I met my now X-Husband. I had a dream job where I was fortunate enough to travel. I LOVED my job. I had been at the same company for 20 years when I met him. I had an abundance of friends and quite the social life. I was active and kept busy most of the time. I liked myself and was not an insecure person. I was a single mother raising my kids and paying my rent. I had a real nice car. Then I met him on Match.com. I picked him out from the selection of matches I was given. He was the most handsome Man I had ever seen. Instant attraction. I was on operation “get this guy mode”.
We started dating and I caught him cheating on me numerous times but finally after 5 years of dating he decided it was time to get married. He was 47 and divorced with no kids. During our courtship and marriage I spent all of my free time with him. I gave up all of my activities, family gatherings and friends just to spend time with him. He never wanted to go out at all I mean he wouldn’t even go out to dinner and so there was no way he would ever couple up with any of my friends besides, I had been telling my friends all about his cheating and no one wanted to be around him. My friends were right but I didn’t care the only thing that mattered was being with him.
He was funny, smart and very good looking. He was fun to be around and he made me laugh. As he was cheating with all the other women and I would catch him, it was the demise of my self-confidence. I started being very insecure about myself and self-conscious. I slowly lost myself and even after all these years I am learning to like myself again.
I guess the point I am trying to make is that you should always stay true to yourself and never lose ties with your family and friends because they are the ones who will be there for you when your life crumbles like mine did. I made a lot of mistakes and I am trying to be a better relative and friend these days. What I am trying to say is he was not worth it! No one that keeps you isolated from your family and friends is worth it. If he/she loves you, they will mold themselves into your life just as much as you do in theirs. Since my divorce I have reconnected with my old friends (who are still married to the same people by the way) and I am learning by seeing and watching them that it is normal for married couples to have friends and couple up and do things. I am the odd man out but I feel fortunate that they let me in their lives again.
I have gained so much more than I ever lost with him.

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

 


Xoxo, Linda

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FaceBook And Online Dating

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk to you about a sneaky way people use on Online Dating to learn all about you before taking you out. Don't fall for it. Recently a man was messaging me on POF and gave me the link to his FaceBook account and said "Feel free to friend me on FaceBook". Now a lot of people will fall for this but I'm not one of them. ** Update** If you look at someones Facebook and you are not a friend, they can see ho is looking in their "People you may know" section. All those people have been looking at your profile.

 

Linda's Tip ~ Always keep your friends and photos 'PRIVATE' to the public for your own safety.

I am a huge FaceBook fan and my entire life practically is posted on there but of course my profile is private. I only have close friends and family on there. If I don't know you, you are not my FaceBook friend. My life is too private so when he pulled that line I just ignored it. Then about 15 minutes later I get another message saying "are you afraid to befriend me on FaceBook"? I politely told him if I don't know someone then I don't befriend them end of story, period.
We'll see what happens but I don't want strangers going through all my private photos and you know that's all he wants to see. I didn't fall for it and neither should you.

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

 


Xoxo, Linda

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Hello Readers, Linda here. Have you ever been just going on with your life after a divorce, separation, break-up and something happens that just stops you in your tracks? This happened to me. Just when I thought I was making great strides in getting over him and the marriage and the divorce and all those things and taking 1 million steps forward and then now I feel like I took 1 million steps back. Just seeing a picture of just ONE of the many other women brought me right back to my knees. Just like that in a nano-second. My friend was considering dating her from POF and he wanted my opinion so he showed me her profile and after that I felt like I just got hit by a train. My poor friend felt so bad but it was not his fault he had no idea what she looked like. Needless to say this ruined our night out together. Thank god I was among friends they are the best!
Then I cry and cry and reach out to friends and think and think and sleep and sleep… It’s like it brought me right back to the day when I caught him cheating on me. Devastated and destroyed emotionally. I think the worst part of it is that he still has the effect over me where I ALLOW him to get me so upset. It’s not fair. How do you get over betrayal like that from your “supposed to love you forever” husband? This is what makes people go crazy and do crazy things. It’s been almost 3 years and I thought I was doing well. It brought me to a very dark place the last couple of days. I need to pull myself out of it. I will allow myself the rest of this day to mourn but starting tomorrow it’s a brand new day.
I won’t allow him or his cheating sluts disrupt my life anymore. I am done. I didn’t do anything wrong I just gave my heart to someone who didn’t take care of it. All he thought about was himself.
I would say it’s OK to feel this way if something brings me back to this dark place but I cannot let it ruin one more minute of my life. Life is too short to let someone take my happiness from me when he I am sure HE is just as selfish as he ever was and is cheating on several women as I write this.
I should have ran the first time I caught him. I got mixed up emotionally and physically and lustfully. Never again. Never again will I give my heart to someone who won’t cherish it and take care of it like it should be.
My advice for all of my readers today is this, if you are currently in a relationship where your partner is cheating, get out now. It’s not worth it. I am not sure if you will ever get over it but it’s better to be by yourself and have some bad days once in a while then to be with someone who doesn’t value you.

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

 


Xoxo, Linda

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Hello Readers, Linda here. Last night i went out with friends. We were all talking about OnlineDating. My male friend says to me " There's only one woman I'm interested in on this site (POF)" so naturally we all want to see her and he shows me her picture... Yep, one of my X's other women... Right there in front of my eyes! I couldn't believe it I mean what are the odds of this happening?
My emotions took over it was like a flashback to all of the pain and hurt I felt years later. I cried right there at the dinner table and I mean cried! Just like the old days when I caught him cheating. He said I looked like a saw a ghost! I think I did. It was devastating and brought back all of those painful memories once again that I thought was over.
Apparently this still haunts me to this day. He's not going out with her obviously because he loves me more than taking her out on a date. Thank god for my friends and I guess this was a set back. I thought I was doing so good and healing.
Today is a new day and I will move forward from this but I never want to see her face again.  

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

 


Xoxo, Linda

Posted by on in Blog




Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to tell you a story about one time when I caught my X-husband cheating. This is when we had been married about 2 years. I was a stay a home wife. Stupidly I quit my dream job shortly after marrying him. Anyway, I was cleaning his desk one day while he was at work and something told me to check his computer (email account) so I did. Note: when your gut instinct tells you something is not right, then something isn’t right. It never lies to you. Anyway, what I found was several emails to a lady that lived in another state. One of the emails that he sent to her was of him taking a ‘selfie’ of himself fresh out of the shower with just a towel around his waist. Now remember my X is a beautiful man. Very handsome who I always thought looked the best with his clothes off and it’s true he is very handsome.(And he knows it) When I saw this it really hurt me. I was devastated to say the least. I had caught this man cheating over and over and always believed his lies when he said he would never do it again.
I had no idea who this woman was. I thought I knew all of his past sluts but I had never heard her name or anything. I googled her and found her in a different state she worked as a realtor I believe and she was a married woman. In the emails my husband sent to her he told her that he should have married her and how he regrets the way they broke up yada yada yada…
She was definitely a guilty party too. The things she said to him were just as bad. What did I do you ask? Well, I printed out all of the emails and taped them all over his office. When he got home and walked in the door I never said a word. I waited until he went upstairs to his office and he saw what I did. I then went to his office and told him I know her name, her address and her phone number and I also know she is a married woman. He proceeded to tell me it was his old college girlfriend and he was sorry what he did and it was wrong.
Eventually I forgave him. I made him send her an email in front of me telling her he was wrong to contact her at all and that he is married too. What I should have done was pack my bags and start the divorce proceedings then and there because he never changed and I don’t think he ever will.
Of course I threatened to call her husband and I never ended up doing it but I am sure that wasn’t the end of their contact. He is a total jerk who is a cheater, liar and a thief. I learned a hard lesson and I ended up staying with him for about 3 years after that and I never ever trusted him and I never will. We are not friends and he does try to contact me still to this day but it’s over. I’d rather be alone then go through all that again.

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

 


Xoxo, Linda

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