Is this guy for real? Not single?

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about a guy on PlentyofFish.com. He sent me a message saying he would really like to meet me but he is not single. He's just looking for a little excitement he says and then asks me if I'm ok with that????..seriously dude? Even if you were Brad Pitt and married ( which he just got married by the way) I still wouldn't go there. That's the problem in this world today no one takes marriage or committed relationships serious anymore. At least that's my experience on the Online Dating sites.
I will meet someone and then we start dating and he's still "Online now"all the time! This has happened to me more than once. I just don't get how anyone has time to date more than one person at a time?
Please help me understand I mean I get it if you are just dating and trying to find the right person but if you start dating and become intimate then from a woman's point of view that kind of seals the deal and I don't think either one of you should still be on the site.
This is Exactly why you shouldn't be intimate with someone until you are in a committed relationship. Feelings get hurt and hearts get broken.

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

Xoxo, Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about my life before I met my now X-Husband. I had a dream job where I was fortunate enough to travel. I LOVED my job. I had been at the same company for 20 years when I met him. I had an abundance of friends and quite the social life. I was active and kept busy most of the time. I liked myself and was not an insecure person. I was a single mother raising my kids and paying my rent. I had a real nice car. Then I met him on Match.com. I picked him out from the selection of matches I was given. He was the most handsome Man I had ever seen. Instant attraction. I was on operation “get this guy mode”.
We started dating and I caught him cheating on me numerous times but finally after 5 years of dating he decided it was time to get married. He was 47 and divorced with no kids. During our courtship and marriage I spent all of my free time with him. I gave up all of my activities, family gatherings and friends just to spend time with him. He never wanted to go out at all I mean he wouldn’t even go out to dinner and so there was no way he would ever couple up with any of my friends besides, I had been telling my friends all about his cheating and no one wanted to be around him. My friends were right but I didn’t care the only thing that mattered was being with him.
He was funny, smart and very good looking. He was fun to be around and he made me laugh. As he was cheating with all the other women and I would catch him, it was the demise of my self-confidence. I started being very insecure about myself and self-conscious. I slowly lost myself and even after all these years I am learning to like myself again.
I guess the point I am trying to make is that you should always stay true to yourself and never lose ties with your family and friends because they are the ones who will be there for you when your life crumbles like mine did. I made a lot of mistakes and I am trying to be a better relative and friend these days. What I am trying to say is he was not worth it! No one that keeps you isolated from your family and friends is worth it. If he/she loves you, they will mold themselves into your life just as much as you do in theirs. Since my divorce I have reconnected with my old friends (who are still married to the same people by the way) and I am learning by seeing and watching them that it is normal for married couples to have friends and couple up and do things. I am the odd man out but I feel fortunate that they let me in their lives again.
I have gained so much more than I ever lost with him.

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

Xoxo, Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk to you about a sneaky way people use on Online Dating to learn all about you before taking you out. Don't fall for it. Recently a man was messaging me on POF and gave me the link to his FaceBook account and said "Feel free to friend me on FaceBook". Now a lot of people will fall for this but I'm not one of them. ** Update** If you look at someones Facebook and you are not a friend, they can see ho is looking in their "People you may know" section. All those people have been looking at your profile.

Linda's Tip ~ Always keep your friends and photos 'PRIVATE' to the public for your own safety.

I am a huge FaceBook fan and my entire life practically is posted on there but of course my profile is private. I only have close friends and family on there. If I don't know you, you are not my FaceBook friend. My life is too private so when he pulled that line I just ignored it. Then about 15 minutes later I get another message saying "are you afraid to befriend me on FaceBook"? I politely told him if I don't know someone then I don't befriend them end of story, period.
We'll see what happens but I don't want strangers going through all my private photos and you know that's all he wants to see. I didn't fall for it and neither should you.

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

Xoxo, Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Have you ever been just going on with your life after a divorce, separation, break-up and something happens that just stops you in your tracks? This happened to me. Just when I thought I was making great strides in getting over him and the marriage and the divorce and all those things and taking 1 million steps forward and then now I feel like I took 1 million steps back. Just seeing a picture of just ONE of the many other women brought me right back to my knees. Just like that in a nano-second. My friend was considering dating her from POF and he wanted my opinion so he showed me her profile and after that I felt like I just got hit by a train. My poor friend felt so bad but it was not his fault he had no idea what she looked like. Needless to say this ruined our night out together. Thank god I was among friends they are the best!
Then I cry and cry and reach out to friends and think and think and sleep and sleep… It’s like it brought me right back to the day when I caught him cheating on me. Devastated and destroyed emotionally. I think the worst part of it is that he still has the effect over me where I ALLOW him to get me so upset. It’s not fair. How do you get over betrayal like that from your “supposed to love you forever” husband? This is what makes people go crazy and do crazy things. It’s been almost 3 years and I thought I was doing well. It brought me to a very dark place the last couple of days. I need to pull myself out of it. I will allow myself the rest of this day to mourn but starting tomorrow it’s a brand new day.
I won’t allow him or his cheating sluts disrupt my life anymore. I am done. I didn’t do anything wrong I just gave my heart to someone who didn’t take care of it. All he thought about was himself.
I would say it’s OK to feel this way if something brings me back to this dark place but I cannot let it ruin one more minute of my life. Life is too short to let someone take my happiness from me when he I am sure HE is just as selfish as he ever was and is cheating on several women as I write this.
I should have ran the first time I caught him. I got mixed up emotionally and physically and lustfully. Never again. Never again will I give my heart to someone who won’t cherish it and take care of it like it should be.
My advice for all of my readers today is this, if you are currently in a relationship where your partner is cheating, get out now. It’s not worth it. I am not sure if you will ever get over it but it’s better to be by yourself and have some bad days once in a while then to be with someone who doesn’t value you.

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

Xoxo, Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Last night i went out with friends. We were all talking about OnlineDating. My male friend says to me " There's only one woman I'm interested in on this site (POF)" so naturally we all want to see her and he shows me her picture... Yep, one of my X's other women... Right there in front of my eyes! I couldn't believe it I mean what are the odds of this happening?
My emotions took over it was like a flashback to all of the pain and hurt I felt years later. I cried right there at the dinner table and I mean cried! Just like the old days when I caught him cheating. He said I looked like a saw a ghost! I think I did. It was devastating and brought back all of those painful memories once again that I thought was over.
Apparently this still haunts me to this day. He's not going out with her obviously because he loves me more than taking her out on a date. Thank god for my friends and I guess this was a set back. I thought I was doing so good and healing.
Today is a new day and I will move forward from this but I never want to see her face again.  

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

Xoxo, Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to tell you a story about one time when I caught my X-husband cheating. This is when we had been married about 2 years. I was a stay a home wife. Stupidly I quit my dream job shortly after marrying him. Anyway, I was cleaning his desk one day while he was at work and something told me to check his computer (email account) so I did. Note: when your gut instinct tells you something is not right, then something isn’t right. It never lies to you. Anyway, what I found was several emails to a lady that lived in another state. One of the emails that he sent to her was of him taking a ‘selfie’ of himself fresh out of the shower with just a towel around his waist. Now remember my X is a beautiful man. Very handsome who I always thought looked the best with his clothes off and it’s true he is very handsome.(And he knows it) When I saw this it really hurt me. I was devastated to say the least. I had caught this man cheating over and over and always believed his lies when he said he would never do it again.
I had no idea who this woman was. I thought I knew all of his past sluts but I had never heard her name or anything. I googled her and found her in a different state she worked as a realtor I believe and she was a married woman. In the emails my husband sent to her he told her that he should have married her and how he regrets the way they broke up yada yada yada…
She was definitely a guilty party too. The things she said to him were just as bad. What did I do you ask? Well, I printed out all of the emails and taped them all over his office. When he got home and walked in the door I never said a word. I waited until he went upstairs to his office and he saw what I did. I then went to his office and told him I know her name, her address and her phone number and I also know she is a married woman. He proceeded to tell me it was his old college girlfriend and he was sorry what he did and it was wrong.
Eventually I forgave him. I made him send her an email in front of me telling her he was wrong to contact her at all and that he is married too. What I should have done was pack my bags and start the divorce proceedings then and there because he never changed and I don’t think he ever will.
Of course I threatened to call her husband and I never ended up doing it but I am sure that wasn’t the end of their contact. He is a total jerk who is a cheater, liar and a thief. I learned a hard lesson and I ended up staying with him for about 3 years after that and I never ever trusted him and I never will. We are not friends and he does try to contact me still to this day but it’s over. I’d rather be alone then go through all that again.

My new Book is out enitled "The Top 10 Things People Lie About On Online Dating Sites and Why: You can purchase on this page or click this link for Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Things-People-About-Online-Dating/dp/1502780372/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1413830377&sr=8-2-fkmr0&keywords=the+tpop+10+things+peope+lie+about+on+online+dating+sites+and+why

Xoxo, Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I feel compelled to write about Usernames on Online Dating Sites. One can tell a lot about a person by their Username. For example, I had a guy message me the other night with the Username “LickMyBalls8888”? Seriously? I didn’t answer him back until he kept persisting. BTW, this was on Plenty of Fish. I read his bio and it said he was on the site to F&*K all of his wife’s friends. What a total idiot. I finally blocked him but honestly, what is he doing on POF? If he wants and is looking for just sex and is MARRIED, then first off, he shouldn’t be on a site if he is married and secondly go to a site that caters to the creep that he is.
I got another message from a guy “Will_N_Dowd”... WTF? Then he has the nerve to tell me that I should take one of my pictures down. This made me mad so I tried to message him back and I got a pop-up stating he only accepts messages from certain users. Again, this was on POF. I am not sure what the message meant but what a coward to send a rude message and then not give me the opportunity to message him back?
There are many more usernames that are inappropriate and I don’t think POF or any other site should allow it but then again, it’s probably a good thing because any decent person can look at a Username like the above and know to stay away.
I would love to hear your feedback on this!
Xoxo, Linda

IWillBeSingleUntilTheDay


I will be single until the day I meet the man who will take himself off all dating sites and add me as a Facebook friend. He will introduce me as his GF and take me to meet his family. He will make me his priority while still maintaining his true self. He will want me to be with him all the time but he will respect my need for my own space when needed.
He will tell all of his X-girlfriends that he has met the love of his life and is no longer on the market, he will do this without me having to ask him to. He will want to cook with me and for me. He will go to parties with me and act like a gentleman. He will love and value my kids because he understands they are my heart. He will never criticize my flaws or imperfections. He will think I look prettier without make up. He will share the remote control and watch my favorite reality shows with me.
He will happily take me out and be proud to be with me. He will provide for and protect me. He will support me and my decisions and not deny me of my dreams. He will take the trash out and help around the house. He will keep his phone on and not hide it because he has nothing to hide.
He will become my best friend and lover. He will listen to me even if I am not making any sense. He will take care of me if I am sick. He will wash and maintain my car so I don’t have to anymore. He will not be a drunk or have any addictions. He will always put himself in my shoes because he is smart enough to understand women are complicated.
He won’t yell or raise his voice unless his is trying to protect me.
He will love me and want to be with me forever.
Xoxo, Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to tell you about a Plenty of Fish Dating Story. I met him on POF. He was handsome, successful, funny and polite. He didn't ask for extra pictures or anything weird before we met. We talked on the phone a couple times before meeting. We met at a restaurant/bar and he looked just like his pictures and was dressed real nice which I appreciated. We had a cocktail and then we went to Sushi. It was a nice evening and he even paid my valet parking. The next day he wants to take me to dinner again so I say yes. He says he wants to drive and pick me up so I say ok. MISTAKE! Ladies, even on the second date don't let the guy come to your place you really don't know him yet.
Anyway, he picks me up and has a bottle of Saki in his hand so I think well, ok we pour a couple glasses before we walk to dinner from my house. He takes me to my favorite restaurant. Our table isn't ready so we go to the bar where he orders some more drinks and starts to get drunk. Then he starts to get "feely touchy", starts grinding against me with his "junk". I am so embarrassed I could scream! They call us to our table. He orders another drink and the entire night he never listened to anything I said. He just sat there and stared at me like I was dessert! Finally dinner was over and I'm thinking thank you god now I can get rid of him. He proceeds to tell me while we are walking back to my place that he is going to sleep on my couch! Wtf? I just laughed it off and he told me he was serious? No way! I told him no way in hell is this going to happen and he tells me well I can't drive I had too much to drink. Not my problem dude, you are a grown man, take a cab! Honestly, I told him goodbye at the door and sent him off. I assume he made it home because he tried to call me several times after but no way am I going out with him again. He obviously has a drinking problem and a stupid man problem because you don't assume you're going to spend the night on your dates couch on a second date.
This is why you "date" someone. It takes several dates before you know the person.
Lessons learned:
1. Don't let the guy know where you live or pick you up until you know he is a good person and you can trust him.
2. Don't ever let a guy sleep on your couch because he drank too much. He is a total stranger just because you went on a date doesn't mean you let him into your home right away!
3. Don't go out with a guy/girl who drinks like a fish and disrespects you.
4. What you see is what you get, if they get drunk on the date probably means they get drunk a lot. You don't need someone with an addiction problem nothing good can come from that.
Xoxo, Linda

Hello Readers, Linda here. Today I want to talk about that annoying question I get asked a lot. "You're still single?". I am not sure why this annoys me but it does. I'm on a dating site and some of the guys on there that I have either dated or talked to will message me and ask me that. Isn't that a stupid question I mean if I wasn't single I wouldn't be on the dating site. I suppose they maybe can't believe I'm still single but at this point in my life I am just not ready to share my space with anyone and I haven't met anyone yet that I'm willing to do that with so here I am waiting patiently.
I have never been that type of woman who has to have someone all the time. I enjoy living alone and doing my own thing I only hope my marriage didn't mess me up to where I am afraid to take that leap again. I will admit it did take me years to get over my X and what I went thought with him. Maybe I'm not over it yet not sure but it's going to have to be one fantastic Man that will sweep me off my feet or I may be alone forever. I'm ok with that scenario, I'm an independent woman and I don't need a man to "complete me". Time will tell, I'm still dating so you never know!
Xoxo, Linda